Remembering one of our moderators
Hello, TMB family…
I wanted to let you all know that one of our longtime moderators of the TMB Boards has passed away. Leah (as she was known here) first appeared on TMB back in the early 2000’s. She was a prolific poster, and she had a bluntness about her that rankled many people, but she always spoke the truth, wanting desperately to help people who maybe were blinded by being too close to their situation. Leah cared deeply for her fellow TMBers, and fervently wanted to bring God’s Truth into their lives and marriages.
After being a poster for a couple of years, Leah became part of the Oversight Group for the forums and served faithfully in that capacity for several years. For a long while, she and just a couple of others were the chief moderators, as the Oversight Group had shrunk in number. She and I and the other mods worked together to keep the boards going, and the workload was many times very intense. Leah was very organized and could keep people and their issues straight when I would get confused about whose problem was whose! I’ll always appreciate her honesty, her teachability, and her desire to make TMB the best place on the web for Christian marriages to get help.
Leah was 63 when she passed into glory, and I know she is celebrating in her eternal life with Jesus! She was a great servant of God, and she will be missed.
God bless you all, and stay well!
Dale – TMB Board Czar
Wow, what a shock! 🙁 I know that I often clashed with her, but she was a huge part of TMB of old. This news saddens me. I am praying for her husband, daughter, grandkids and all those close to her.
I don’t know if you can answer this, but was this an unexpected death for her family? Thank you Dale for passing this news along. A downfall to anonymity is we often are unaware when major life changes happen in those we have come to care about.
I actually shed a tear or two now. I’m so sad to read this, but I rejoice at her life.
Leah had such a profound effect on my life. Just yesterday I was thinking about her warning her daughter whose love language was physical touch. She advised her to be careful when choosing a spouse. My daughter is only 8-years-old but I know I will need to teach her the same thing.
I also choose my words carefully thanks to her. She said she had to change her style of communication with Jake because he responded better when her message was short and to the point. I will never forget her “Come to Jesus” moment with Jake when all hell broke loose and she discovered the dripping tissues after he pleasured himself after watching porn but refused her.
Leah encouraged me to dig into the Word. She wore it on her heart, she showed me so much compassion. I remember the random times she would just pop in to check how I was doing. She wanted me to do the work, so I got Boundaries. I have to laugh because my copy is actually out on loan and I’m forever preaching Boundaries myself.
I will miss you, Leah. Even though my ducks are still not all in a row (a la Jobman), I will always remember your wisdom.
I’m very very sad to hear this news. I don’t come on much anymore as my marriage is over, but a TMB friend of mine shared this news and post. I’m so sorry and praying for her family. One thing I admired about Leah, is how, even tho she had difficulties in her marriage, she never gave up on it, and worked through things even when difficult… not an easy thing to do.
Thanks, Dale, for letting all TMBers, old (older! 🙂) and new, know of Leah’s passing into the arms of Jesus. Leah was exactly as you and SC and SP remember her. Often when a thread got ‘interesting‘ (a few ‘different’ POVs), I’d smile and wonder and sometimes think that I knew how she’d cut to the chase and share her clear, straightforward insight. Generally, I wasn’t even close!🙂 When Leah weighed in on a topic or issue there was no equivocation. She was exemplary and passionate. She lifted up the sacredness of the marriage bed.
Now, there are voices on TMB different although just as wise and impactful. Those of you who speak Godly wisdom with integrity, honesty, and humility continue to step into the breach left by Leah.
“Dear gracious, Heavenly Father, give peace and comfort to Leah’s family – her DH, daughter, and grandkids – and friends – close and many of those touched by her on TMB. In Jesus’s Name, Amen!“
Leah was an absolute gem, and I am truly saddened to hear of her passing. As much as it sometimes seemed that she was cut from stone, her true self shone thru. I truly respected and admired her, and she was one that I came to count on to steer me in the right direction, when I didn’t know which way to turn. She was the living image of iron sharpening iron, tho I believe her edge was already honed to a razors sharpness.
One of the things I have truly missed from the old boards was her presence.
Leah, for those who never knew her, I was not around in her early “I need help” years, but it wasn’t hard to pick up on the difficulty she came out of. And by the time I came around, she was ministering out of the wisdom she gained out of her difficulties. All the others who were around and knew her, please correct me if my memory is wrong, and add your own memories.
As @NeilEthere mentioned, she shared the damage porn use could do to a marriage. She was the higher drive spouse in her marriage, where her husband wasn’t just “low drive” but was a sexual gatekeeper and refuser. And in her marriage she had to do a lot of work in learning about and establishing boundaries. I don’t think anyone pushed ‘Boundaries’ by Cloud & Townsend, like she did. You want to talk about “short and to the point”, that was her….so much so, it was often difficult for me to understand what she was trying to get at. I know she had a defense in her for those aching hearts that came because of sexual refusal.
Other things I remember about her and that added to her story and wisdom….. She had a daughter with whom she loved and homeschooled, who later provided her with multiple grandchildren. She dealt with unexplained infertility after that first pregnancy. And in those final months of the old TMB, she was facing pain and other issues around having sex and her female parts. Her message was, sometimes hormone therapy isn’t an option, but you can get pelvic floor therapy, and she was finding great success in it! She found pain-free sex again and was having the best orgasms of her life because of PFT (this would have been around her being 60ish.) I saved what she shared, because I wanted to have that knowledge for if there was ever a day I needed it.
Personally, though we had some major clashes in my beginning years at TMB, in those last couple of years of the old TMB, she was supportive of me and the struggles I was going through. She advised around boundaries I needed to establish with my husband. When I was burnt out, she reached out trying to provide me with a resource that might help, and when my son unexpectedly got a girl pregnant she was the one who said, “Grandparenting is the best. You will love it!” And even on here, she randomly popped on with a supportive word. I know that she won’t be forgotten by those who knew her, and I have no doubt she will have a long line of people wanting to thank her in heaven for the difference she made in their life.