Resources for the “larger than average” groom or married man?

    Based on discussions I’ve had on this board in the past and elsewhere online and IRL, I’ve been wondering if there a need to provide some resources/help for the virgin groom and/or married man who happens to be “larger than average” in penis size.

    I know prior to our marriage, I could have used some specific counsel that would have helped bring guidance and encouragement to both me and my bride. And my wife and I have counseled other couples in the same situation and were able to help them.

    I’ve asked a few others, and have gotten answers ranging from “absolutely, this is a need” to “thanks, but we kind of figured out the hurdles and adjustments ourselves.”

    I’ve considered even starting a separate site to explore these issues from a Christian worldview, but perhaps it would be best to start here and find out if there would be any interest in this kind of resource for both these men and the women they’re married to. There are “resources” out there on the Internet, but they’re decidedly from a non-Christian perspective.

    Anyway, I thought I’d gather thoughts and perspectives here before I went any further.

    Thanks!

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    18 Answer(s)

      I like this idea and I would be willing to help.

      Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on July 19, 2019.

      thanks!

      on July 19, 2019.
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        Not a need I particularly feel for myself, but if you assume a normal distribution, about half of men will be above average and one in six will be more than one standard deviation larger than average- that’s a lot of men!

         

        Fell out of ... Answered on July 19, 2019.

        Agreed.

        on July 20, 2019.
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          to add to this: What kinds of things would you wish to discuss or made more generally known to men in this situation prior to marriage, during marriage, and just in general life, etc. ?

          California King Answered on July 19, 2019.

          Don’t plow forth as deep as you can when you start PIV, especially if she’s not at a high state of arousal. You can end up running into the cervix and it’s not a pleasant experience for her. For my Wifey, after she’s had her O deeper penetration is much more welcome.

          on July 20, 2019.

          Agreed!

          on July 20, 2019.
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            Prior to marriage…An open and honest discussion can avoid surprises.

            Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on July 19, 2019.

            I am trying to figure out the contents of the open and honest discussion.

            Will it be like, darling my penis is …….are you okay with it? Or it may be dear my parts are big and they measure …..etc.

            How would the discussion be like.

            on July 23, 2019.

            I actually had this discussion with my future wife. I didn’t give her measurements. I just said something like: “I feel like you need to know that I’m larger than most and that we may have some difficulty at first. We’ll just take things slowly.” I also let her know that there was no pressure for us to have PIV on our wedding night (we had another couple friend where the guy was adamant that they were going to have PIV on the wedding night, no matter what, since he’d waited so long for it, and that had damaged their relationship.

            on July 24, 2019.

            Thats great . Thanks for the response Georg…

            on July 24, 2019.
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              I like the idea and would contribute.

               

              California King Answered on July 19, 2019.
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                We would also address vaginismus, positions and techniques to help.

                Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on July 20, 2019.

                good ideas. Although from what I understand, there’s a difference between vaginismus, which involves being able to accommodate almost any sized object without pain and the physical issue of accommodating a too-large penis.

                on July 20, 2019.
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                  It seems like one of the things you would want to address is the proper way (the way medical professionals do it) to measure a penis, and statistics about what constitutes average and how most men fall on the scale surrounding average. It may not have much to do with the problems you are noting, but any time you start talking penis size, I think a lot of men are going to automatically wonder how they measure up. I know my DH always makes self-deprecating comments about his length and seems to really think he is somehow deficient, when, in fact, he is demonstrably above average. (I always knew that, but he won’t believe me.)

                  You should do your own research, but I found that average (erect length) among over 16,000 men studied was 5.1″ and the proper way to measure is on top from tip to pubic bone, pushing past hair and any layer of fat. The same study said most men measured within one inch of the average and that very few fell at the extremes one way or another. I’ve already closed the tab, but I just googled, “how long is the average penis”.

                  Also, from personal experience, length varies according to arousal, stimulation, and probably other random factors. I enjoy pushing him to his extremes of length, but then sometimes cowgirl could get painful. I’m hoping the removal of my cervix and the subsequent stitching did not shorten my vagina too much! Which prompts the thought, maybe you should also find and share some information about the average length of a vagina or how it changes in various circumstances, like different times during the menstrual cycle, etc. I think it also changes with different stages of arousal, now I think of it. It’s worth reading up on for a site such as you describe.

                  Under the stars Answered on July 20, 2019.

                  these are all really good thoughts here. I have the same studies and statistics as you cited. And yes, you’re right: there are very few on the extremes, which is why I was wondering if there would be interest in resources at all. However, even at the extremes, among millions there would still be statistically a good number at the bigger end of the extreme, so maybe.

                  When my wife had her hysterectomy, the doc asked if we wanted it tightened up and we both emphatically told him “no.” He actually wasn’t all that surprised–said that every once in a while a couple where the man was well-endowed would ask him not to tighten things up down there for her.

                  Average vaginal length, changes according to the cycle, etc. would be an interesting topic to cover, too. Plus arousal. Thanks so much for these suggestions!

                  on July 20, 2019.

                  Good comment @ Duchess.

                  Hmm I think along the line I read something like vagina size. Is there something like that, are women curious about it and can it be really measured?

                   

                  on July 23, 2019.
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                    All these comments are so serious!

                    Wouldn’t it be pretty hard to find out how large a problem this really is?

                    And, to what lengths would you go to find out?

                    Don’t get me wrong. It’s really big of you to bring up this issue!

                    😉

                    Under the stars Answered on July 20, 2019.

                    😆

                    on July 20, 2019.
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                      Okay, I have to ask. What is “larger than average” so we are all on the same page here?

                      Queen bed Answered on July 22, 2019.

                      Good question!

                      If average is about 5.1 inches for length and just under 5 inches for girth, then anything above that would technically be “above average.” For well above average to where it starts causing issues, I’d go to above the standard deviation, which would be  7+ inches in length and 5.5+ inches in girth.

                      on July 22, 2019.
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                        @InBed

                        The average is found here: https://www.zmescience.com/medicine/penis-size-average-03032015/

                        Last update: 2017

                        Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on July 22, 2019.
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