Sex and Alcohol
Sometimes, especially on weekends, my DH and I have a glass of wine with dinner, and maybe a second glass after dinner. Sex often happens not too long after that.
So here’s our question: Do others find that alcohol enhances your sexual experience, detracts from it, or has no effect. And to be complete, indicate if you are referring to one drink, two drinks, or more than two. Also please state if you are the husband or the wife answering.
Wife here – I had a pretty serious binge drinking problem a while back. 😳 🙁 I would drink 4 to 5 cocktails every night, sometimes more, sometimes less. After one or two drinks, I’m relaxed and feeling frisky. Beyond that, I lose interest in sex (just want to watch TV and get silly), and/or get really tired. Drinking has the same effect on me as it does on a man, sexually – ever hear the term “whiskey d**k”? Well, I would have the same problem with my clitoris and arousal process – couldn’t get it going, or if I could, then it was impossible to orgasm. There were actually a few occasions where we did have sex and I didn’t remember it the next morning (which scared me sober).
My husband has trouble performing sexually after more than 3 drinks/beers, although he’d never admit that. He’s the same as me – one or two and he gets handsy and affectionate, but beyond that, he gets tired and limp.
Husband’s answer. We only enjoy an occasional glass of wine when dining out or during a relaxing evening. Wine does not provide any inducement toward sexual arousal. We find sharing a glass to be warmly intimate and very enjoyable without sparking our libido.
Husband here. My wife doesn’t drink due to medical recommendations. I drink one or two drinks about three times a week. I didnt have any alcohol until I was in my 30s and my wife and I had been married for awhile and had an established sex life and routine, so I have a reasonable comparison between the two. I would say it’s a 50/50 deal between alcohol enhancing sex and hindering parts of it for me. It does put me in the mood more (especially on nights when I might think I’m too tired otherwise), which has been a benefit for my wife. It does dull the senses, which is bad for me but good for my wife, helping me last longer and such. I think if I had a different life situation that meant less stress and less fatigue, I’d eliminate the alcohol before sex, but for now, it has helped in making sex more frequent. Mind you, I dont drink enough to become drunk, not just because of the Biblical rules on being drunk, but also because I dont want to be drunk/impaired should an emergency happen.
DW and I have decided not to drink. We have seen too much of the negative side of drinking among relatives and friends and in larger society.
We have always been open with each other so we have never felt the need for alcohol as it relates to our sex life. We have sought to become closer in other ways in order build our relationship and to break down the walls that might hold us back sexually.
Wife here; we drink sporadically: once or twice a year we might open a bottle of wine and work on it until it is finished or we get tired of it and toss the rest. Another once or twice a year we might attend a social function where there is alcohol and we sample whatever is on offer. We like the idea of trying different wines but end up putting them in the fridge to chill and leaving them there for ages! We also tried making wine once.
I don’t recall ever feeling aroused after drinking alcohol. I get warm and sleepy or if I drink it too fast, hot and sweaty. If I drink too much it makes my feet itch (long before drunkenness). Hubby fights over-tiredness as it is; a depressant just exacerbates that.
When we want to feel sexy by drinking out of goblets and actually follow through to sex, we stick with sparkling juice. 😉
I am the husband, we drink maybe 2 or 3 bottles of wine a year and maybe 4 six packs of beer in the entire year. Mostly will have one or two drinks. For me, I think it lowers my desire a little and the ability.
For my wife though, ever heard the term “liquid panty remover”? One or two drinks and she gets really frisky and WAY less inhibited. The next day she will say, “I can’t believe I did that or said that”. More than two drinks though and she falls asleep.
I think beer tastes gross and most wines give me headaches and make me more sleepy than anything else. I drink pretty rarely. I do enjoy an occasional cocktail (I like the kinds that taste sweet and fruity) when we are out to dinner and it will sometimes make me feel giggly and silly but I wouldn’t say anymore interested in sex than usual (although I am usually interested in sex anyway). Dh has a beer several times a week, I’d say if he has it too close to bedtime/sex it can make him either sleepy or last too long (trouble orgasming).