Sharing some successes/growth
As a direct result of discussion on this forum, we have been making a point of showering together more often than we ever have before. It is resulting in us maintaining a higher level of intimacy between sexual encounters than when we shower separately. Thanks to discussion, we also managed a FIRST (which was a “didn’t think we’d ever”) which was actual penetration in the shower. For some reason, I had this picture in my head of how “sex in the shower” would look and had always been bummed because that picture is physiologically impossible for us. TMB helped me think outside the box and experience something I had thought was impossible.
Also as a direct result of discussion on this forum, I have had Godly submission of a wife to her husband much on my mind. We so seldom disagree, that submission of my will to his rarely even comes up. This week it did, and I have made the choice to submit to his decision on a matter that…well, I didn’t want to! Lol! I guess if I wanted to, it wouldn’t be submission, would it. We would just be in agreement in the first place.
My point is, TMB is a great resource to help one grow in sexual health and a marriage relationship. But it’s an even better resource to help one grow in Christ.
Thanks, Friends. 🙂
Edited: deleted stray word
Happy for you Duchess and your steps and new found freedom and adventure! Way to go!!!
DW & I really enjoy our shower times (3-4x/wk). It’s many times just about relaxing and conversations about life and the day, ESPECIALLY when she’s ticked about one of her daughters and an issue. 😆
Yes, sex in the shower takes some work and prep (Great podcast on SMR last year.) but it can be a fun place to start, and even finish. 😀
I think it is probably moot now, but just to clarify (in response to comments): there really was no compromise here. There is something I want to do now, while the choice is ours. He doesn’t think it is a good idea now, though he will reluctantly agree to it at a later point if certain conditions are met. A big part of the “contention” really is the timing, because there is a real chance that it really won’t be an option later. So the “NOW” part is the decision and there are really only two options: yes now, or no not now. Therefore, by not acting NOW, I SUBMITTED. Willingly, because of my love for Jesus and my trust that God’s design for marriage as described in the Bible is good. OF COURSE we compromise when it’s possible; that’s just good leadership. It’s wise. He also has the choice to submit to me (delegate) if he feels I have a gift or special wisdom in a certain question. God prescribes leaders, not dictators.
An older wife in my church, I would call her a mentor, said it this way: she and her husband are mostly equal. They make decisions together and in agreement. They discuss things and always come to agreement before acting. In those times, however, when agreement is just not possible, she defers to his decision and trusts God to ensure that her DH makes the right decision.
Where I have been falling down on this is not (entirely) my unwillingness to put aside my opinion on decisions where we disagree (though I am too skilled in arguing in favor of my desired outcome), but in standing back and allowing (forcing?) him to form and express his own opinions more so he has more opportunity to lead. He makes decisions slowly, but I’m impatient for an answer so I just go ahead and decide without giving him time to come to his own conclusions. I’m working on it.
I don’t believe in the domineering, disciplinarian type of husband role that treats the wife as little above one of the children; that is demeaning to God’s purpose for women in the relationship, IMO, and is the kind of situation that slips too easily into abuse.
To put it in a metaphor (because I love metaphors), my ideal (and what I believe the Bible commands) is that we walk side by side except when the path narrows. Then he decides who goes first. Sometimes he is the gentleman and ushers me through first. Other times he is the protector and goes before me to meet potential danger ahead of me. But once we are past the narrow spot, we walk side by side again.
Again, I felt the need to clarify because of the comments added to my original question, and since that poster is gone now, this may have been unnecessary, but just in case at some later date a new reader doesn’t realize that we have had some members who were used by the enemy to plant seeds of false doctrine I wanted to establish that while subservience is bad, submission is good.