I think it’s time for me to leave this forum. While it has been helpful to a degree, my struggles are such that hearing from people in happier marriages is hard to take right now. I’m happy for you, but it’s not doing good things for me right now. I changed my name to better describe my lot in life.
There are many of us who have struggles, the right setting just hasn’t presented itself to open up about them. I know it may feel like you are alone, but you aren’t. I have been given this advice more than once, take a break if you need, but don’t just leave. Maybe you can consider that?