This is a bit awkward so I will just come out and say it.  I have been struggling with ED for about a year and a half now,  and it has gone from not a huge deal(no pun intended) to really interfering with our sex life.  I don’t think it has altered our frequency,  tho I may have hesitated to initiate because of performance anxiety,  which only makes things worse.  It has definitely hurt quality.

    This weekend,  my wife was wearing this sexy little dress,  and I was fooling around,  and gently pushed her backwards on the bed.  Her response was something along the lines of “Ok,  you have me here,  what are you waiting for?”  On the one hand,  It was just a massive turn on,  and I could feel things start to happen in my jeans,  and then that doubt set in and everything came to a screeching halt.

    Fast forward.  Eyes fully open now.  No more denial.  This doesn’t seem to be resolving itself,  so I went online and jumped thru the necessary hoops,  and got a Taldenafil prescription.  You would think it would be easy to figure out some of the questions,  like how often do you have sex,  I suppose I could have reached for the stars there,  but I did the math real quick,  and came up with once a week as a rule,  with the occasional twice a week.  So.  what the heck.  Might as well wish,  so I ordered enough for twice a week.

    Here is where it gets tricky.  With me working out of town so much,  that means it is pretty easy figure that part of the schedule.  If I had my choice,  I would take one as soon as I walked in the door,  with the idea that sometime in the next 4 hours something would happen.  The problem is,  often it doesn’t happen until Sunday night.  My wife has been really deliberate lately to make sure it happens sometime during the weekend,  but honestly,  I usually don’t know when it is going to be,.

    I don’t want to kill the spontaneity or worse,  I don’t want her to feel shackled by some schedule,  so I am a bit unsure how to proceed.I was wondering how other couples worked out the scheduling difficulties and what you did to make it more natural, and less awkward.

    Tadalafil (Cialis) typically gives you a 3 day window of effectiveness. Viagra is usually a few hours. Sometime I mix the two. Tadalalfil seems to work best for me.

    I would also recommend L-Citrulline Malate. It helps your body produce Nitric Oxide which is necessary for erections. I was using it daily and seeing good results, got off of it and saw bad results, and now I’m back on it and seeing good results again. I order the 750 mg capsules through Swanson and take at least 2 per day.

    on September 16, 2020.

    Where do you get L-Citrulline Malate. Do you take it with ED medication? Do you need prescription? How much does it cost?

    on September 16, 2020.

    I buy it from Swanson vitamins and I take it daily.  I also take Swanson’s “Prostate Essentials” and Pygeum.  Pygeum is good for the prostate and helps produce more pre-ejaculate fluids.  It’s widely prescribed in Europe.

    I posted here before about how L-Citrulline Mlate helps men.  Do a search.

    I do take it along with ED meds.  I can tell when I’m off of it.

    on September 16, 2020.

    I also take 5 mg of Tadalafil daily. I buy 20 mg tablets and cut them into 4ths. It helps with both prostate enlargement and with erections. Since I started back the L-Citrulline I have been having night-time erections again.

    on September 16, 2020.

    I have been taking citruline for about 5 years,  At first it was super effective,  but not so much lately.  I might wake with an erection,  but it disappears almost immediately.

    on September 16, 2020.
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    10 Answer(s)

      Have you seen a medical professional to try and understand why you have erectile dysfunction?

      Sometimes ED is a symptom of something else, so it’s worth at least checking that there isn’t anything more serious going on.

      From what you describe, it sounds like the problem is at least partly psychological. In that case, sildenafil might help but you might not need it long term.

      On the floor Answered on September 18, 2020.
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        Well,  I have an update.  Still a lot to figure out but…


        On the floor Answered on September 19, 2020.

        Leaving everyone hanging on the details?

        on September 19, 2020.

        Well,  about all I can say is that, at least for me,  it works much better that expected,  and at a much lower dosage.  I took 40 mg late Friday afternoon,.  We had plans that evening to visit a winery with a bunch of friends,  and ended up staying out much later than we had planned,  and when we got back home we both just sort of fell into bed and went to sleep.  DW offered a raincheck for Sat morning.  In any case,  I woke up much earlier than she did,  and had been up for about 2 hours when I heard her starting to wake up,  so I went and slipped back into bed. I took a 20mg tablet right before anything got serious,  but it probably didn’t have enough time to be effective at all for 20-30 minutes.  Certainly not full effect.   It had been 14 hours since the inital 40 mg dose,  and everything worked significantly better,  before the 20 mg had even taken effect.  If the literature is accurate,  the second dose wasn’t at full effect till we were nearly finished.


        Like I said,  there is a lot to figure out.  We talked about it some, which was a bit awkward for me,  but she was super sweet about it all and really gentle with my feelings.   We will just have to figure out how to schedule,  and also,  I want to figure out the minimum effective dose.  It is safe to say that it remains active in my system much longer than the half life,  or at least it did this time.  That indicates that a pretty low serum level is still effective for me.  Further experimentation will show if that was a on time deal or if it is something we can use in planning.

        on September 20, 2020.
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          I would take it when you are ready for sex. By the time you are done with foreplay , kissing and oral sex you would have nice erection for PIV

          Queen bed Answered on September 16, 2020.
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            Does your wife know you are taking this? If so, it ought to be easy enough to work it into the plans. If I recall correctly, you only have to take them 30 minutes before you need it.

            One of the downfalls is you do have to plan ahead, at least a little.

            Also, do you know that you can play with the dosage? My husband only needed 1/2 a pill.

            Under the stars Answered on September 16, 2020.

            I was already looking at the various options for tweaking the dosage.  My prescribed dosage is 60 mg,  and individual pills are 20 mg,  so that gives the option of easily splitting it into thirds.  If 40 is enough,  then I can stretch that by 50 percent.  If 20 is enough,  then I can stretch it out even farther.  It will take some trial and error to figure all that out,  and I always have the option to request more. tho I can’t really see that as a realistic need right now.

            If I am completely honest,  when I was doing the mental math to come up with how much I really needed,  when I figured out that 8 doses would usually be more than I needed in a month,  it was rather depressing.  On the other hand,  if I can split those dosages,  while the overall frequency might not be higher, it would mean I could take some of it in sort of an ” I don’t have any real expectations,  but here is hoping” sort of way.”

            on September 17, 2020.
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              I take sildenafil and it has definitely been beneficial.  You say you don’t want your wife to feel shackled by a schedule, but to be effective you really need to work together on when to take it and to plan that window of opportunity. If you are used to being instantly spontaneous it can be a little challenging to have to plan ahead, even if just for 30 minutes, but the satisfaction should be worth it.

              King bed Answered on September 16, 2020.

              Planned sex is not bad. It’s ALL good, planned or unplanned.


              on September 16, 2020.
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                Spontaneity is overrated.  i’d rather have guaranteed sex night after night at 10 PM for a week.  At the appointed time, one of you can do something ‘spontaneous’ by initiating a different way or taking a different position or whatever.  If you tell your wife your taking the pill at a certain time, just to let her know, then there is four hours (or three days) for someone to initiate spontaneously.  if you do it the first night, there are still those other nights to do it.


                Fell out of ... Answered on September 16, 2020.
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                  I have tried Citruliine too, it can help, but not as effective as ED meds.

                  I have taken Sildenafil (Viagra) and Tadalafil (Cialis).  You can get both generic now at a greatly reduced cost. With a Goodrx coupon, Kroger has them for about $12 a month or so, or order them from a legit online pharmacy for about the same price.

                  If you never know when you are going to have sex, use the Tadalafil, 20mg when you get home. One pill will last 2 days or more and works great. The daily 5mg works ok, but you do need to take it daily and i don’t think it works quit as good. Sex twice a week, 8 pills a month.  Kroger has them for $10 for 10 pills.

                  Sildenafil works good too, but does wear off after a few hours. I would use this is your more schedule driven for sex. I think it works the best of the two drugs, but doesn’t last near as long.



                  On the floor Answered on September 17, 2020.

                  I suppose there will be time to experiment with different options and also to shop around.  At a dollar a pill,  I would probably just eat them like candy.

                  on September 17, 2020.

                  If you kind of know the day or within two days of having sex, I highly recommend the 20mg Tadalafil (Cialis). You can get it in generic now and it is pretty cheap.

                  on September 19, 2020.
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                    Sometimes when we have sex or I lay down for a hand job these days, I am not standing at attention after a little stimulation and my wife says, “I thought you needed it.”  I was a little soft after changing positions.  I got my T checked out and it was low.  I got a couple of T-shows, and I hit the doctor up for a sidenafil prescription and thought I’d try a few pills.

                    I told my wife before I took it and asked her to take full advantage, telling her I might have a shorter refractory period and saying she could play with me remount me, etc.  She’s usually done when she was done.  I was hoping the curiosity about the pill might stoke her sexual appetite and make her a bit aggressive when I am exhausted.  I didn’t really notice much difference between using the pill and sex without it.  The delay in getting an erection and softness issues don’t happen all the time.  Maybe it has gotten better recently.

                    I’m also taking a number of health supplements to increase testosterone and hopefully improve erections.  For erections, gingko, garlic, green tea, ginseng, and ginger.  I saw a video promoting these supplements.  Honestly, I can’t say if it has worked because it could just be the placebo effect or confirmatory bias, but it seems to have helped a bit.

                    Fell out of ... Answered on September 21, 2020.
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                      Further update.

                      40mg is very effective  dose, but comes with some slight adverse reactions. One effect is a low grade headache. Also sinus swelling.

                      The efficacy of the 40mg dose lasts much longer, 10-12 hours ,rather than the assumed 4-6 hours.

                      My refractory period is somewhere around 10-20 minutes at that dosage, but I think if I keep the stimulation high, it might be possible to go straight into a second session. Will have to seek out some cooperative assistance to test that theory.

                      Will likely try a 20mg dose the next time and compare the results. At his point I

                      have no reason to even consider the prescribed 60mg.

                      On the floor Answered on September 25, 2020.

                      For me, 20mg works on empty stomach, if I have eaten anything at all in the past couple of hours, I need at least 40 mg and it takes at least an hour to kick in. I have noticed if I have eaten and take 40mg, it does last longer like you experienced after the winery date.

                      Tadalafil works great and last a long time, I highly recommend it and I get zero side effects from it. You can get it cheap at Krogers.  I get face flushing and feel a little funny if I take 40 mg of Sildenafil.

                      on September 26, 2020.
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                        Curious to know what your refractor period was when you were in your 20s/30s. I don’t think I have ever had a refractory period in the 10-20 min range, at least not with a partnered orgasm. Solo masturbation back in the day might have allowed that.


                        Under the stars Answered on September 25, 2020.

                        In my 20’s it was probably 30 minutes, 30’s at least an hour. Early 40’s way more than hour. Now in my late 50’s, I would say my refractory time without taking an ED drug is a full day. I can get erect a second time, but not stay up and it is very difficult to ejaculate a second time in one day.

                        I had a doctor tell me that a lot of men think they have ED when actually they have a greatly increased refractory time, it can be a full day or even a couple of days.

                        on September 26, 2020.

                        I honestly couldn’t tell you, Scott.  I know it was relatively short.  I only mention it here because it is indicative of the efficacy of the drug.  Other than that,  it is probably just an interesting bit of trivia.  It certainly isn’t something that will impact our sex life much.  As I said,  It might be fun to experiment,  but it isn’t going to mean that we routinely start having marathon sessions

                        on September 26, 2020.
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