This is a bit awkward so I will just come out and say it. I have been struggling with ED for about a year and a half now, and it has gone from not a huge deal(no pun intended) to really interfering with our sex life. I don’t think it has altered our frequency, tho I may have hesitated to initiate because of performance anxiety, which only makes things worse. It has definitely hurt quality.
This weekend, my wife was wearing this sexy little dress, and I was fooling around, and gently pushed her backwards on the bed. Her response was something along the lines of “Ok, you have me here, what are you waiting for?” On the one hand, It was just a massive turn on, and I could feel things start to happen in my jeans, and then that doubt set in and everything came to a screeching halt.
Fast forward. Eyes fully open now. No more denial. This doesn’t seem to be resolving itself, so I went online and jumped thru the necessary hoops, and got a Taldenafil prescription. You would think it would be easy to figure out some of the questions, like how often do you have sex, I suppose I could have reached for the stars there, but I did the math real quick, and came up with once a week as a rule, with the occasional twice a week. So. what the heck. Might as well wish, so I ordered enough for twice a week.
Here is where it gets tricky. With me working out of town so much, that means it is pretty easy figure that part of the schedule. If I had my choice, I would take one as soon as I walked in the door, with the idea that sometime in the next 4 hours something would happen. The problem is, often it doesn’t happen until Sunday night. My wife has been really deliberate lately to make sure it happens sometime during the weekend, but honestly, I usually don’t know when it is going to be,.
I don’t want to kill the spontaneity or worse, I don’t want her to feel shackled by some schedule, so I am a bit unsure how to proceed.I was wondering how other couples worked out the scheduling difficulties and what you did to make it more natural, and less awkward.
Does your wife know you are taking this? If so, it ought to be easy enough to work it into the plans. If I recall correctly, you only have to take them 30 minutes before you need it.
One of the downfalls is you do have to plan ahead, at least a little.
Also, do you know that you can play with the dosage? My husband only needed 1/2 a pill.
I take sildenafil and it has definitely been beneficial. You say you don’t want your wife to feel shackled by a schedule, but to be effective you really need to work together on when to take it and to plan that window of opportunity. If you are used to being instantly spontaneous it can be a little challenging to have to plan ahead, even if just for 30 minutes, but the satisfaction should be worth it.
Spontaneity is overrated. i’d rather have guaranteed sex night after night at 10 PM for a week. At the appointed time, one of you can do something ‘spontaneous’ by initiating a different way or taking a different position or whatever. If you tell your wife your taking the pill at a certain time, just to let her know, then there is four hours (or three days) for someone to initiate spontaneously. if you do it the first night, there are still those other nights to do it.
I have tried Citruliine too, it can help, but not as effective as ED meds.
I have taken Sildenafil (Viagra) and Tadalafil (Cialis). You can get both generic now at a greatly reduced cost. With a Goodrx coupon, Kroger has them for about $12 a month or so, or order them from a legit online pharmacy for about the same price.
If you never know when you are going to have sex, use the Tadalafil, 20mg when you get home. One pill will last 2 days or more and works great. The daily 5mg works ok, but you do need to take it daily and i don’t think it works quit as good. Sex twice a week, 8 pills a month. Kroger has them for $10 for 10 pills.
Sildenafil works good too, but does wear off after a few hours. I would use this is your more schedule driven for sex. I think it works the best of the two drugs, but doesn’t last near as long.
Have you seen a medical professional to try and understand why you have erectile dysfunction?
Sometimes ED is a symptom of something else, so it’s worth at least checking that there isn’t anything more serious going on.
From what you describe, it sounds like the problem is at least partly psychological. In that case, sildenafil might help but you might not need it long term.
Sometimes when we have sex or I lay down for a hand job these days, I am not standing at attention after a little stimulation and my wife says, “I thought you needed it.” I was a little soft after changing positions. I got my T checked out and it was low. I got a couple of T-shows, and I hit the doctor up for a sidenafil prescription and thought I’d try a few pills.
I told my wife before I took it and asked her to take full advantage, telling her I might have a shorter refractory period and saying she could play with me remount me, etc. She’s usually done when she was done. I was hoping the curiosity about the pill might stoke her sexual appetite and make her a bit aggressive when I am exhausted. I didn’t really notice much difference between using the pill and sex without it. The delay in getting an erection and softness issues don’t happen all the time. Maybe it has gotten better recently.
I’m also taking a number of health supplements to increase testosterone and hopefully improve erections. For erections, gingko, garlic, green tea, ginseng, and ginger. I saw a video promoting these supplements. Honestly, I can’t say if it has worked because it could just be the placebo effect or confirmatory bias, but it seems to have helped a bit.
40mg is very effective dose, but comes with some slight adverse reactions. One effect is a low grade headache. Also sinus swelling.
The efficacy of the 40mg dose lasts much longer, 10-12 hours ,rather than the assumed 4-6 hours.
My refractory period is somewhere around 10-20 minutes at that dosage, but I think if I keep the stimulation high, it might be possible to go straight into a second session. Will have to seek out some cooperative assistance to test that theory.
Will likely try a 20mg dose the next time and compare the results. At his point I
have no reason to even consider the prescribed 60mg.
Curious to know what your refractor period was when you were in your 20s/30s. I don’t think I have ever had a refractory period in the 10-20 min range, at least not with a partnered orgasm. Solo masturbation back in the day might have allowed that.