So how is clean is yours?
Some say, “cleanliness is next to godliness”. Apparently, according to this article, cleanliness is next to sex too. So how clean is your boudoir? Or at least your area in the boudoir? Do you make the bed together?
I just wanted to add this thought…. with my personality, I have a very limited amount of energy. When I worked on making sexual changes, IF I truly wanted to make changes, I had to choose what I would focus my mental, emotional and physical energy on. Things like keeping things organized and clean (w/ 4 kids home 24/7) and cooking meals every night, changed. But my husband was very happy to eat pizza yet again, or have a messier house in exchange for the change in his wife. I stole this saying from Julie Sibert at Intimacy In Marriage…. “What I lack on my feet, I make up for on my back.” 😆
Maybe couples who desire more intimacy, need to let some things go, rather than add one more thing to their list to do. Too often we let perfect rob us of good.
edited to correct the name
“Maybe couples who desire more intimacy, need to let some things go, rather than add one more thing to their list to do. Too often we let perfect rob of us of good.”
This is wildly true and quite possibly some of the best advice I’ve ever seen given. It applies to far more than sex, and even intimacy. People need to relax and just let some things go…certainly things like cleaning. There is always more “to do”.
Personally, I think this is a huge roadblock for many LD and/or responsive-desire spouses who can’t get the “to do” list out of their heads. And it often hits after kids arrive because that’s when all h*** breaks loose.
We keep our room clean and uncluttered. I do the cleaning, but DH doesn’t leave things laying around. Our bed gets made every day, by me. Except on Sundays, DH often makes it if I didn’t get around to it before church. I love the clean look. Years ago, I didn’t care about our room. It was a small, dark hole, full of storage. If I could do things over, I would clean that hole right up and see how good and bright and clean I could get it.
If I get out of it in time, he will help me, but I like to linger a little longer so he usually has gone downstairs by the time I am making the bed. We do change the sheets together because it is just harder to do that job alone!
The rest of the room could use a lot of work and has been on my radar for quite some time. And yes, it is distracting at times. I really want to completely purge it of everything that doesn’t belong there and then make it a romantic retreat where no one else is allowed…except that it is access to two other rooms upstairs. 🙁 But I’m brainstorming creative ways to do a quick “set change” between when it’s just us and when it’s essentially a hallway.
Great tips! I’ll try it and see how it goes. DW has been sick for weeks (not COVID related at all), and I’ve taken on much of her share of the duties, which we’ve split since we married.
Her love language is acts of service, so I’m sure tidying up our room (which is mainly her stuff! 😉) will bless her. Even if it doesn’t add to more sex, I’ll be glad to lift her spirits.
After reading the link, it is a wonder my DW ever got past the first time she saw my bachelor bedroom. Looking back, I think she would concur. I mean, I had a good system. I knew where the pile split into clean/still clean enough to wear/needs washed …. mostly. There was always the smell test. 🙂 (no, my house or room does not look like that now.)
Our home, garage, etc. is always in order. Both of us enjoy order and nothing is out of place. This is also true for our bedroom, master bath, and closets. Clothes are hampered – by both of us. The bed is made every day, by either of us or together. Bed end tables, dressers, bureaus, etc. are clutter-free and drawers are orderly.
This is just who we are! 😄 Whatever works for every couple is just who they should be! 😃
As I was looking up information to make sure I had my facts right in a comment, I just came across this and found it funny 😆 ….
“There are generally two types of people in this world – those who can’t start the day without a freshly made bed, and the rest of us, who don’t really get the point of fixing all your sheets nicely just to mess everything up again in 18 hours. Those in the latter group, rejoice, because science has found that a messy bed might actually be better for your health.”
We are a couple that defies the statistics. 😀 We have a catch all pile in front of some shelving in our room. I have had to decide not to waste my energy on it. I have often put the time and work into clearing it out. My husband comes home loving it, but I can almost guarantee within a few days, he places stuff right back there. That causes more anger and angst in me than the continuous mess, so it’s a battle I have chosen not to fight.
We are simple people, in this warmer weather, we have a sheet and light blanket. In colder weather, we throw a comforter on. No extra pillows. My husband pulls up his side when he gets up, usually a few hours before me. I tend to throw the covers back and roll out of bed, a made bed has NEVER been important to me.