So how is clean is yours?

    Some say, “cleanliness is next to godliness”.  Apparently, according to this article, cleanliness is next to sex too. So how clean is your boudoir? Or at least your area in the boudoir? Do you make the bed together?

    https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/couples-most-sex-common-bedroom-143400730.html

    Add Comment
    16 Answer(s)

      I just wanted to add this thought…. with my personality, I have a very limited amount of energy. When I worked on making sexual changes, IF I truly wanted to make changes, I had to choose what I would focus my mental, emotional and physical energy on. Things like keeping things organized and clean (w/ 4 kids home 24/7) and cooking meals every night, changed. But my husband was very happy to eat pizza yet again, or have a messier house in exchange for the change in his wife. I stole this saying from Julie Sibert at Intimacy In Marriage…. “What I lack on my feet, I make up for on my back.” 😆

      Maybe couples who desire more intimacy, need to let some things go, rather than add one more thing to their list to do. Too often we let perfect rob us of good.

       

      edited to correct the name

      Under the stars Answered on September 24, 2020.
      Add Comment

        @SC said:

        “Maybe couples who desire more intimacy, need to let some things go, rather than add one more thing to their list to do. Too often we let perfect rob of us of good.”

        This is wildly true and quite possibly some of the best advice I’ve ever seen given. It applies to far more than sex, and even intimacy. People need to relax and just let some things go…certainly things like cleaning. There is always more “to do”.

        Personally, I think this is a huge roadblock for many LD and/or responsive-desire spouses who can’t get the “to do” list out of their heads. And it often hits after kids arrive because that’s when all h*** breaks loose.

        -Scott

        Under the stars Answered on September 24, 2020.

        I like that expression:  “wildly true”. And I agree! Yet I said what I said. Yet I agree with this! It’s a balancing act.

        on September 24, 2020.
        Add Comment

          We keep our room clean and uncluttered. I do the cleaning, but DH doesn’t leave things laying around. Our bed gets made every day, by me. Except on Sundays, DH often makes it if I didn’t get around to it before church. I love the clean look. Years ago, I didn’t care about our room. It was a small, dark hole, full of storage. If I could do things over, I would clean that hole right up and see how good and bright and clean I could get it.

          Under the stars Answered on September 24, 2020.
          Add Comment

            If I get out of it in time, he will help me, but I like to linger a little longer so he usually has gone downstairs by the time I am making the bed. We do change the sheets together because it is just harder to do that job alone!

            The rest of the room could use a lot of work and has been on my radar for quite some time. And yes, it is distracting at times. I really want to completely purge it of everything that doesn’t belong there and then make it a romantic retreat where no one else is allowed…except that it is access to two other rooms upstairs. 🙁  But I’m brainstorming creative ways to do a quick “set change” between when it’s just us and when it’s essentially a hallway.

            Under the stars Answered on September 24, 2020.
            Add Comment

              Great tips! I’ll try it and see how it goes. DW has been sick for weeks (not COVID related at all), and I’ve taken on much of her share of the duties, which we’ve split since we married.

              Her love language is acts of service, so I’m sure tidying up our room (which is mainly her stuff! 😉) will bless her. Even if it doesn’t add to more sex, I’ll be glad to lift her spirits.

              Queen bed Answered on September 24, 2020.

              Yes, do that for her! She will love it! The times I have been sick I would have loved nothing better than for someone to clean up for me. Maybe it will even help her get better faster.

              on September 24, 2020.
              Add Comment

                After reading the link, it is a wonder my DW ever got past the first time she saw my bachelor bedroom. Looking back, I think she would concur. I mean, I had a good system. I knew where the pile split into clean/still clean enough to wear/needs washed …. mostly. There was always the smell test.  🙂 (no, my house or room does not look like that now.)

                Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on September 24, 2020.

                Ditto. She had to her past my weight bench in the living room and then exercise bike in the family room plus my project pile in the corner of the LR too much hitch and as always more of a pass through and catch all.

                on September 24, 2020.
                Add Comment

                  Our home, garage, etc. is always in order. Both of us enjoy order and nothing is out of place. This is also true for our bedroom, master bath, and closets. Clothes are hampered – by both of us. The bed is made every day, by either of us or together. Bed end tables, dressers, bureaus, etc. are clutter-free and drawers are orderly.

                  This is just who we are! 😄 Whatever works for every couple is just who they should be! 😃

                  Under the stars Answered on September 24, 2020.
                  Add Comment

                    As I was looking up information to make sure I had my facts right in a comment, I just came across this and found it funny 😆 ….

                    There are generally two types of people in this world – those who can’t start the day without a freshly made bed, and the rest of us, who don’t really get the point of fixing all your sheets nicely just to mess everything up again in 18 hours. Those in the latter group, rejoice, because science has found that a messy bed might actually be better for your health.”

                    From: https://www.sciencealert.com/making-your-bed-each-morning-makes-it-easier-for-dust-mites-to-breed-science-finds

                    Under the stars Answered on September 28, 2020.

                    Yeah, that’s not gonna fly with my wife. I look at it this way, “happy wife, happy life”. In other words, “if I want to get in her pants, I better pick up and take care of mine”. 😀

                    on September 28, 2020.
                    Add Comment

                      Ours is clean. DW loves the feel and sight of clean and simple and decluttered. And she works at keeping it that way.

                      We make love together, but only occasionally make the bed together!

                      Under the stars Answered on September 24, 2020.
                      Add Comment

                        We are a couple that defies the statistics. 😀 We have a catch all pile in front of some shelving in our room. I have had to decide not to waste my energy on it. I have often put the time and work into clearing it out. My husband comes home loving it, but I can almost guarantee within a few days, he places stuff right back there. That causes more anger and angst in me than the continuous mess, so it’s a battle I have chosen not to fight.

                        We are simple people, in this warmer weather, we have a sheet and light blanket. In colder weather, we throw a comforter on. No extra pillows. My husband pulls up his side when he gets up, usually a few hours before me. I tend to throw the covers back and roll out of bed, a made bed has NEVER been important to me.

                        Under the stars Answered on September 24, 2020.

                        It seems to be working for you, so perhaps statistics are made to be broken. 😀

                        on September 24, 2020.

                        I have witnessed DW make the bed up literally just an hour before she gets in it for the night. It physically makes her ill to see it unmade for more than a little bit. And she will typically not let me help because I don’t do it to suit her, lest there be a wrinkle or a slightly off center sheet.

                        of course sometimes I’ll do that just to mess with her 😆

                        on September 24, 2020.

                        Me too LBD. I’ll put the throw pillows ON but that doesn’t mean they are placed and displayed in the “proper” manner. I enjoy placing them on the bed with a foot lift. 😀

                        on September 24, 2020.
                        Add Comment

                        Your Answer

                        By posting your answer, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.