Spanking and other forms of impact play.

    Spanking is very common these days.  And an even more common fantasy.  The link between pain and pleasure is well known.  Who uses spanking or other forms of impact play with their spouse?  Or perhaps would like their spouse to spank them?

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    20 Answer(s)

      I like to slap my wife’s butt during doggy and AS.  I only do this occasionally, though, as she’s at best tolerates it but it isn’t something high on her enjoyment list.

      I really like it when she slaps me and will request her to do it, which she will do sometimes.  But since doing it isn’t something she enjoys either I don’t request it often.

      She doesn’t have a problem with nibbling and biting, though, and will do that often which turns me on as well.  Apparently, I’m into “pain and pleasure” although I’ve never given it much thought before now.

      King bed Answered on July 29, 2019.
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        This is an area I would definitely like to explore more.  DH has dabbled, but not nearly to the the extent I would like to go. I can understand that there may be some hesitancy on his part until the learning curve is figured out.

        Double bed Answered on July 30, 2019.
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          Impact play refers to any kind of sexual play where there is an impact.  Spanking is the most common form.   Hairbrushes, riding crops, floggers, etc. are sometimes used instead of a hand and would fit into the same umbrella of impact play.

          Double bed Answered on July 28, 2019.

          Thanks!

          on July 28, 2019.
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            My first thought here is that how one feels about this would almost certainly have to be linked to one’s experience with corporal punishment in childhood. The only spanking I actually have memory of receiving as a child was given by someone who gave it out of anger that I had caused him inconvenience and not even close to anything resembling love.

            Perhaps not incoincidentally, I have never had much interest in spanking, impact play, or even “pain and pleasure” actions whatsoever.

            Occasionally, DH likes to slap my butt a little during doggy; I tolerate more than enjoy it.

            Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on July 28, 2019.

            I think previous experience with spanking as a child may be a part.  Certainly might put spanking in the hard no category if you have bad memories.  But it has more to do with power exchange and wanting to feel dominated in many cases.

            on July 29, 2019.

            Yeah, in that situation I described I had NO power, NO choices (and again, received NO love) so the whole being dominated (at least in this way) has no appeal either.

            on July 29, 2019.
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              I like a good pop on her butt.  She is pretty fair skinned and have to be careful not to leave a mark lest she turn me in.

              Fell out of ... Answered on July 29, 2019.

              Marks can be lots of fun if she wants them. We don’t like anything too severe, but we do like to sometimes see a mark last several days. A reminder of the fun.

              on July 29, 2019.
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                Dh is a butt guy and will often spank me playfully.  We’ve occasionally done it more “seriously” during sex and I do enjoy it, it has to be interspersed with things that are not painful (stroking licking etc.) and or I have be very turned on.  We’ve done other types of “pain/pleasure” things too like others have said I like to be bitten.

                Fell out of ... Answered on July 29, 2019.

                Yes, alternating the pain with pleasure is very important. Helps keep the brain struggling to tell the difference.

                on July 29, 2019.
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                  To get the endorphin release, it needs to be hard and for an extended period of time.

                  Double bed Answered on July 30, 2019.
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                    This may sound stupid, but I ask here just in case others have the same question….What exactly is “impact play”? Is it anything that results in the “pain and pleasure” dynamic? Or is actually around things that make an impact, like swatting, switching, slapping, etc?

                    I will save the rest of my answer until I understand better.

                    Under the stars Answered on July 28, 2019.
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                      We have done very little of this, other than playful spanks here and there. But I have definitely experienced, and enjoy, the “pain and pleasure” by other methods.

                      Under the stars Answered on July 28, 2019.

                      Other methods?

                      on July 30, 2019.

                      Hair pulling

                      Nipple pinching, nipping/biting, clamping, etc

                      “Stretching” the limits of the vagina, i.e. fisting, large or multiple toy usage, etc.

                      Even hard thrusting can be painful, but with the right stimulation to the clitoris, it becomes pleasurable.

                      This isn’t really painful, but the right amount of pressure around the base of the neck, adds pleasure as well.

                      on July 30, 2019.
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                        We don’t do any impact play.  DW isn’t into pain.  I’d be open to trying some if she’d like.

                        Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on July 29, 2019.
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