Submit to one another
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Ephesians 5:21
So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Matthew 19:6a
The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 1 Corinthians 7:4
Do you change your plans or habits for your spouse? It doesn’t need to be in the marriage bed, although it can be.
Yes, we put each others’ preferences before our own all the time. Sometimes we even argue over who will be the one allowed to “sacrifice”. (Ever leave perfectly yummy leftovers in the fridge to rot because both of you are leaving them for the other?) I have refrained from cutting my hair because he liked it long; he keeps his mustache because I think it would look weird to see him without it after all these years. I’ve changed the way I hang jeans on the clothesline because he believes legs up dries them faster; he puts the toilet paper roll on with the paper coming off the top because I believe any other way is anarchy. I learned how he likes his t-shirts folded and he learned how I like the towels folded. He travels as much as he can stand it for me and I have accepted that big travel like Europe or a cruise are just not going to happen. Early in our marriage he switched from showering in the morning to showering at night for me. I do my best to fill the gas tank at 1/4 tank or above for him. And yes, in the MB, there are reverent submissions too: I learned to love OS and he works hard to give me the foreplay and emotional arousal I need. Many more, I am sure, but honestly I am really sleepy and just dozed off while typing this!!
Yes I try with varying degrees of success. It helps me to remember the next verse in Ephesians (5:22) “Wives submit to your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” Ultimately its not just him I’m submitting to or not but God.
Some things are easier because all they require is learning a new habit, unlearning an old one, or deferring my preference for his: simple things like remembering to close cabinets behind me, closing the shades when I leave the house (I don’t see why its necessary but who honestly cares if its important to him) sleeping with the a/c instead of a fan in the window in the summer. (He does the same for me: having it completely dark for sleeping, wild and bushy plants in the yard instead of neatly manicured ones, letting me pick paint colors for the house).
Some things are harder because they require more dying to self , things that are a bigger deal to me (like the number of kids we have) and in some cases even doing things in a way that I don’t think is “the best” (to be clear I’m not talking about anything contrary to God’s word, just things that I would do differently).
My plans and habits have adjusted and changed throughout our decades of marriage. Being considerate takes precedence over preference in our marriage – both ways. One simple example. I prefer a packed calendar and schedule and thrive on pressure. Mrs. Oldbear prefers a well-planned, easy paced calendar and schedule. Only if it does not affect her do I pack my day, week, and month with challenging activity.