Suggestions for “mismatched” bodies.
DH and I have been married just over 1 year and I am looking for some advice and tips regarding positions, movements, etc.
I am 5’10” tall, and “slender” (as I’ve been called). DH is 6’2″ tall, and has an athletic build. Neither of us have any health issues that prevent trying anything and everything in the bedroom. We can go for and hour or 2 or more if desired. The issue I noticed pretty much immediately is that we are somewhat limited when it comes to positions. DH is quite small down there, and some moves and positions are impossible.
I am hoping to hear from couples who have direct experience in this matter, but of course, I appreciate any and all advice. 🙂
I hesitate to mention this, because I know men can be very sensitive around this, plus I don’t want to rob you guys of working through this together, so go into this only after great consideration and prayer, because guarding your husband’s heart and spirit is a priority. There are penis sleeves. Those sleeves can add length and girth. We have a couple of different ones we use on occasion, just to mix things up. We have never made a habit of it, but they are fun to throw into the mix for variety. Again, I believe some men are intimidated by the idea, but not all are and don’t view it as a threat against their own masculinity.
“to make up for his smallness”
“quite a bit below average, and I’ve always wondered what average and even big would feel like”
These phrases concern me. Please be very, very careful that your DH does not get the idea that you feel he is inadequate. Penis size is often an extremely sensitive issue for men and his feelings about himself are a thousand times easier to damage than they are to repair. In fact, you could do so much damage to his psyche that what sexual pleasure you have now could vanish in the face of his anxiety over his perceived inadequacy.
Put your husband’s need for respect and esteem first, build him up, value what you have in him and value him, and who knows how God might bless your physical union. His is the God of miracles. If he can multiply five loaves and two fishes into lunch for 5,000, imagine what he can do in the way of making _____ inches feel longer and thicker.
Also: This is a great board to visit as husband and wife. It can aid in understanding each other by reading what each other answers. It informs both hubby and wifey of the same new information. And it even provides a forum to flirt a little in a semi-public way through what you post knowing your spouse will read it. If your husband ever joined, how would he feel if he read what I quoted?
You know your husband best, but please be very careful.
“If your husband ever joined, how would he feel if he read what I quoted?”
I get the heart behind this, I truly do, but coming from the other side of where “silence” breeds “shame” and knowing “truth will set you free”, I have to say something in defense of this poster and against this prevailing attitude often seen among Christians. This is not against Duchess, whom I love and I know has the right heart.
But honestly, if a person can’t come to an anonymous board, about marriage and sex, and be open and honest about their feelings, issues and struggles, where can they go? When facts, like his size, and feelings, like she shared, are dismissed, what message are we sending… that her issues aren’t real, that her feelings aren’t worth listening to, and she just needs to stuff them back inside? Hasn’t being silent and hiding behind “propriety” done enough damage in the church and in marriages? Let’s graciously let people be who they are, rather than hush them up and shame them for speaking about topics that may not be able to be spoken of anywhere but here. There are ways to validate a person and still lovingly speak truth to them amd “train” them. I know that shame isn’t the heart behind that comment, but it’s a very thin line that can easily be crossed and perceived as such.
I realize that I am coming to a lot of defense today, I think I will step away and take a breather.
Hello again Samantha Rose,
I have been following this thread. Here are my random thoughts.
The majority of women never orgasm from PIV intercourse. Make sure that your husband knows this and understands that his size is not an issue when it comes to your lack of orgasms. Good advice from everyone on that. I will add that age is on your side. Sex generally gets easier for women the older they get.
Can he orgasm from PIV? Regardless, one thing you could do that would definately help is Kegel exercises. It will make you tighter. Whatever you are both experiencing now will be better. In fact, all men and women should do them — they make orgasms more intense.
On the penis sleeves and his size in general. You need to be able to discuss his size (as well as any other issues, sexual or otherwise) that arise. But make sure that he understands that his size has nothing to do with his masculinity, just as women with small breasts are no less feminine that those with large breasts. Masculinity is a function of testosterone (and character 🙂 ). His being vary hard is a good sign :thumbsup:. But a very macho man is not necessarily going to have a big penis. Also, even at 3″ I think the old adage that what he does with it is more important than how big it is.
Most men’s wives have “marital aids.” I don’t see how a sleeve is any different, except that he gets to participate in your using it in a very intimate way. However, while him using one will probably feel nice for you, I doubt that it will cause you to have your first orgasm.
Look for advantages in your situation. You probably suffer little or no vaginal soreness. And from his perspective, his wife being able to take his whole erect penis in her mouth sounds awesome!
Maybe you already saw this from the website shared, but in case you missed it, if you go here, there are 60+ postitions for less endowed men … https://www.christianfriendlysexpositions.com/tag/for-the-less-endowed-man/
I was just looking them over. Some of those we have tried and they didnt work. DH pops out on many of those positions and then just pops back in. Its not necessarily a bad feeling, but it can get frustrating feeling empty and then entered and empty…over and over.
My husband actually falls in the average group, but at the time he got these, he was having erection quality issues (because of low T) which meant he was smaller and softer and I was struggling with feeling him and being stimulated much, which also meant I was struggling with orgasming.
Because of that and because my husband does the toy shopping, and when he knew I was open to experiment with anything, he did a lot of shopping. It was his idea and he did the research and read reviews and one selling point was that women who have had multiple children tend to like it, because it gives a full feeling that can be missed after being stretched after multiple births. He actually went in with the generous heart and the mindset of “how can I bless my wife?”, wanting to give me pleasure and to enhance our sex life, so, he ended up ordering it on his own.
Something he was pleasantly surprised with about it, it actually ended up being stimulating to him as well. And he gets actual physical pleasure in the use of it, plus he gets turned on by giving me pleasure.
Maybe you could open the door to it by just opening the door to the use and experimentation of various sex toys…..it will take time and be a process. Many husbands will find great pleasure if his wife initiates sexual experimentation.
I do have a position for you: From basic missionary, if he were to pull one of your legs up, possibly even as high as to rest on his shoulder, it would allow for very nice depth of penetration. Two legs are also good, depending on how much pressure it puts on your abdomen and lungs.