Sheila Gregoire has posted a link to a survey for men over on To Love Honor, and Vacuum.
I took it, tho I am very disapointed in the form it took. It seems designed to confirm her own assumptions. On the other hand, While I didn’t think much of it, I am sharing it here so other men who might be interested can take the survey, and reach their own conclusions.
OK. I probably didn’t do a good job of expressing my objections to the survey very well. All of your observations are accurate, as far as the questions are concerned. On the other hand, this is how she described the survey.
“Last winter I did a survey of 20,000 married, Christian women.
Well, now it’s time to do a survey of Christian guys!
The survey of women was super comprehensive and super long, and we’ll be sharing our results in our upcoming book The Great Sex Rescue.
But now we want to know what men experience. How satisfied are guys with their sex lives? How happy are guys with their marriages?”
Am I the only one here who found almost nothing in the survey that related to mens concerns and feelings in their marriage. I personally found very little in that survey that seemed directed at understanding men and how they think, outside a few questions about lust. Maybe I’m wrong. It’s happened before.
Agree with the apparent bias others mentioned, though it actually wasn’t as bad as I thought.
Specifically, the part I didn’t like was the one-direction questions without an equivalent in the opposite direction. For instance, yes, guys can push girls’ sexual boundaries…but where’s the question in the opposite direction? Girls absolutely push guys’ sexual boundaries too! Similarly, there’s no question about a man being obligated to provide sex for his wife even though the opposite question is present. For both of those, I felt the need to “tone down” my answers because I know the conclusions that can be drawn from these answers in a vacuum.
Yes, a wife is obligated to provide sex, in some form, to her husband barring extreme circumstances. But yes, a husband is obligated to do the same. Asking one and not the other is quite unfair, particularly in this setting of polling Christian husbands.
Also wish they’d have defined sex (just intercourse?) in that early question about pre-marital sexual experience.
Having read a lot of Sheila Gregoire’s writing over the years, I think I see where she’s going with this survey. The “leading” questions in this survey don’t represent her actual stances or thoughts. Instead, she’s trying to suss out the teaching that many evangelicals received during their youth and how it affected them then and how it affects them now. She really should have made this context clearer in the survey.