Tell us your story…. How did you and your (soon to be) spouse first meet?
My fiancé was married to my best friend and I met him through her a long time ago. He became my husbands best friend and after his wife died, we helped him with the challenges of raising his kids as a single dad. When my husband died he chose to help me through my grief journey. We each fell in love with the other but did not know the others feelings until a reveal happened quite by accident. We immediately got engaged, since we had known each other for over 30 years and we are getting married 3 months later.
I wouldn’t change anything about our pre-marriage time. God in his infinite wisdom has us living in different states which seems like a bummer but which has turned out to be a huge blessing to keep us pure and also provide lots of opportunities to talk on the phone about our relationship in a way that fosters openness that might be too intimate in person. I have been amazed at Gods perfect provision!
My DW was my 2rd “serious” girlfriend from age 15, along with two who I knew from the outset were not compatible long-term prospects. My family had moved back to the South from New England when I was a few mos into the 10th grade, breaking up my 1st serious relationship where I “learned about girls” from heavy petting. This was 1970 and my new town was going through the throes of desegregation, requiring me to be re-zoned to another HS for my Sr year (3 high schools!) and the girls I had dated in my new town up to that point were for fun and “mutual discovery”.
My DW’s maiden name was alphabetically close to mine and, although we were at different HS, she was seated right in front of me when we took the SAT the summer before our Sr yr. She was/is very attractive and I flirted with her before and after the test (borrowing one of her #2 lead pencils LOL) but we didn’t introduce ourselves or exchange numbers. When I was re-zoned to her HS a few months later, I recognized her standing at her locker and I asked her how she’d done on the SAT… she didn’t recognize me because I had cut my hair to play football and she thought “who the heck is this guy and why does he think that’s any of his business?” I didn’t know it but her best friend who was standing next to her already had a crush on me so when I called her home ask her to be my date for the homecoming dance in mid-Oct, my request put her in a bind. She was was at a Young Life meeting with her friends that night and calling back I had several long conversations with her mother – telling her why I had called. So her mother gave her a heads-up in time for her to “clear it” with her best friend before I got through to ask her.
DW had seriously dated two boys before me but was “unattached” and had not participated/allowed much in the way of petting, keeping me at arms length for the first 2-3 mos of our relationship which I respected and she was the first girl who I had a relationship with who was serious about her faith in Christ ( I wasn’t). Life in my FOO was chaotic with my parents separating over my father’s unfaithfulness compounded by his business failure and bankruptcy. Though both were very young, my relationship with DW was the most stable thing in my life and I knew even then that she was the one for me. I was much more experienced sexually and eventually we progressed physically as our relationship deepened over the summer.
That fall, we went away to college separated from each other by 2 states and we did not date others. I asked her to marry me when we were completing our Fr yr of college and we married at the end of the summer before my Jr yr started – we were both 20. We were on our own, having saved everything we’d earned the previous year and living like church mice in the married student apartments on campus. DW was secretary to the Dean of School of Business and we got by. I was highly motivated to succeed scholastically, taking overloads to graduate a semester early and working very hard to advance in my career knowing that there was no safety net under us if I didn’t succeed. At age 30 with 3 young sons, I realized that God was the source of everything good in my/our life – and that DW was a blessing from Him -and for the first time I really understood that I needed Jesus to save me, starting with working through the bitterness and granting forgiveness to my father for the pain he had caused our family over the years. I re-dedicated my life to Christ and have been walking with Him ever since.’
So, in summary we dated 19 mos before engagement and married 15 mos later. My DW gave herself fully to me in the final few months of our engagement. Even though (in contrast to what was happening with my parents) I was fully committed to her and to our upcoming marriage, sometimes I think she regrets not being a virgin when we married. We both have asked and received God’s forgiveness for letting our passions overtake us but I sometimes wonder if we could have saved ourselves some of the stresses early in our marriage by waiting. Neither of us have ever strayed in our 45 yrs of marriage and, despite some very painful life experiences, we are more in love now than ever.
We’ve told our story many times IRL, so this will be quite revealing if anyone we know IRL is also on here…
My first impression of DH was that he was a bully. We rode the same school bus for a short leg of the trip and he was a big kid with a black jacket from a local karate studio and he had a mean face. I was just sure he ate little kids for breakfast. I next saw him in our high school’s Fall Production, cast as…a bully! I applauded the casting. As I became more active in the Drama Club, I got to know this big strong guy two grades ahead of me and discovered that he was a sweet, kind, amazing-smelling teddy bear. We flirted during musical rehearsals and I stole his jacket and one week before the Valentine’s dance, on my 16th birthday, he asked me to the dance with two red roses. We began going out every weekend and by May he made it official on opening night of the Musical. I don’t think it took long at all for it to be obvious we belonged together. We dated for 5 years before he proposed with a ring tied to a corsage on Easter Morning and then were engaged for a year and 5 months before the wedding. I DO NOT recommend long engagements if you are trying to maintain sexual purity before marriage. I’ve said before: we never crossed the line we drew for ourselves, but we put our toes so close to it that if it had been a guillotine, we would have lost some toenail. A lot of frustration, falling to weakness, guilt, forgiveness, renewed determination, rinse and repeat.
The biggest thing I wish would have been different is that I wish someone would have been more challenging to us about our relationship with God and each other. We were both “super good kids from good Christian families” and had been active in church and always well-behaved, so everyone just looked on us with adoration and sentimental smiles and absolute confidence that we were doing great. We were…and yet to have had someone to really disciple us rather than pat us on the back might have resulted in a faster rate of maturity and fewer struggles with spiritual discipline.
We met at a bar in my husband’s hometown. I was 19 and he was 22. I was sitting on a couch next to the table where he was shooting pool with his friends. He told one of his friends that he thought I was cute, so as he walked around to the side of the pool table where I was sitting, the friend pushed him and he fell in my lap. He said “hi, I’m (name)” and I said “nice to meet you”. Before that happened, I had said to my friend “that Asian guy keeps looking at me” because when he smiles his eyes squint almost shut and he (had) very dark hair. He’s not Asian LOL. First impression was that he was really cute, and I couldn’t believe he wanted to talk to me – usually all the guys wanted to talk to my friend (she was prettier and more outgoing than me). We spent the rest of the evening together, even leaving our friends and going someplace else just the two of us. After dating for about 2 weeks we both said we wanted to be exclusive with each other. We dated about 18 months until we got engaged, and were married 17 months after that.
(His first impression, as he would later tell my mom, was “I looked into her eyes and that was it – I was hooked”)
I don’t think there’s anything about our pre-marriage time I would change, but I would love to go back and do our wedding over again. It was a travesty from beginning to end. Doesn’t seem to have affected our long-term happiness and compatibility though since we’ve been together since 1980. 🙂
We met at college and he was an RA helping the freshmen move into the dorms. I kind of honed in on him 🙂
My first impression was he was cute 🙂 And it didn’t take me long at all to see he was outgoing and loved Jesus.
We met in August, started officially dating in October, I was sure he was the one when we started dating, he knew by December, over our Xmas break when we were separated. We were officially engaged in February, and married in August. (One year total.)
I would hope to change our pre-marital sexual activity. I also would have liked to have had a mentor couple, that would have lasted into our years of marriage, at least the early years, rather than just a couple meetings for “pre-marital counseling”. Counsel during that transition time of establishing our marriage, may have changed the course of our marriage.
I tease DH that he and I never really met. We were in our mid teens when we saw each other at a wedding, where he knew the groom and I knew the bride. Our moms were actually friends when they were growing up, but we didn’t know that.
Unbeknown to each other, each of us fell in love with the other. Neither of us told anyone, plus we had never even talked. He tried to fall in love with someone else, which of course didn’t work!
I sort of had a crush on another guy. But deep inside, the thought would always come, what would (future) DH say to that. And I had no idea he felt the same way.
We lived a full 2 days drive from each other. We did meet up a couple times here and there, but he was too shy to talk to me. I wasn’t shy, but didn’t have the nerve to speak to him. (Lol, can hardly believe that now!)
5 years after seeing each other the first time, we found out about each other, thro a mutual acquaintance. How wonderful to know that my feelings were correct.
Also, I had always told God, that I wanted to marry someone who had loved me for at least 2 years, and not someone who just fell in love with my body, on a whim. How amazing to find out that DH had loved me for 5 years already!
The rest is history.
There are many more details, but we have the wonderful, amazing assurance from God, that we were meant to be!
We met on a bitterly cold night at a hike to look for owls. I had a friend with me and there was another lady tagging along. After the hike, we needed to warm up, so we went to a fairly nearby bar. I took a chance and kissed her in the parking lot. We exchanged phone numbers and I said I’d call her Monday. I called her on Monday. She was impressed that I’d kept my word. 🙂
We met at an apartment complex where we both lived. She shared an apartment with a girl that I knew from high school. We met by accident but I truly believe our meeting was part of God’s plan. I would not be where I am spiritually or accepted Christ had I not married this lovely woman. We dated for nearly 2 years, became engaged and married 3 months after I popped the question. I wish that I had met her years earlier, although we were both 25 when married. We met in 1976 and were married in 1978.
I met my wife at a church group for young adults. Most of us were either working or in graduate school. My first impression was that she was a cute, energetic, happy person. (I also like the way her butt looked in jeans! Still do.)
In less than a year we knew we would be getting married and were engaged after 1 year and 7 months of dating. The engagement lasted 9 months (took that long for all the logistical things to get worked out).
The only thing I would change in pre-marriage would be preparing better for the honeymoon, and our lifetime as lovers. Prior to marriage, we did not have sex and kept to pretty strict boundaries. We were entirely unprepared for the honeymoon. I had ‘read’ lots of books on sex while growing up, but I must have missed something because I did not even know enough to bring some lubrication. Intercourse was painful for my wife and it took some time before I could have PIV sex without her wincing. And it was not until a few years ago (over 20 years of marriage) before she had her first orgasm. In reality, our sex life has been the only real issue in our marriage, and if I were to be honest, I think the struggles we have had in that area have results in growth for both of us. Not the cross I would have chosen, but I think it is the one I needed. Funny how God works.
Our first date was a blind date to a sorority function. We hit it off right away, and a couple of months later started dating for real when I asked her out on her birthday. Six months after that, and we were engaged. Six months after that, and we were married. I don’t always recommend moving that fast, but for us, we were completely certain that we were supposed to get married.