The Power of Engorgement
I wanted to do this post for a long time now and I think and feel this may be an important subject that wives and husbands may be missing out.
If I was to ask you the question, “How do you know if your spouse is turned on and ready for sex?”
For us as husbands, we would say, “My wife’s nipples are hard and she is moist in her vulva.”
Wives will most like say, “His penis has 4.0 hardness.”
And I would say…this is…partially true.
I think we as couples are missing an element that is a sure-fire way to know if your spouse is indeed ready.
I will watch from time to time Susan Bratton (secular sex advisor) on Youtube and she stated something that piques my interest and I think this is, at least for me, a breakthrough.
Susan stated that husbands will spend 20-ish minutes on foreplay to get the wife ready for sex and think that she is ready. She states that the way to know for certain a woman is ready for sex is the engorgement of the vestibular bulbs.
If the vestibular bulbs are engorged, this will increase the pleasure of lovemaking. In essence, the sides of the vulva will be puffy and pillowy. This is a hard sign (see what I did there?) that she is definitely aroused fully.
Engorgement doesn’t just stop there…We as husbands need it too.
Susan recommended that just like we spent 20 minutes getting our wives turned on until the bulbs are hard and puffy…guess what? We as men need that engorgement too.
As a man, if you take the time to feel your perineum while not aroused, the area will yield easily to push in. If you take 20 minutes to massage your penis, scrotum area, and pubic area, you can start to get this area flushed with fresh blood. After the 20 minutes, you check again, the perineum (if fit) will feel strong and hard (think of an oak tree).
I tried this when my wife was away on vacation and after 20 minutes, I could definitely know without a shadow of a doubt I was engorged fully.
So husbands and wives, make the word “engorgement” your new favorite word and spend time on each other (20 minutes of genital massage and foreplay) to get each other ready. Trust me…you WILL notice a difference.
P.S. Husbands, if you need tips on how to engorge your area, let me know. I can share what has worked for me. Also, if time is a factor, do the best you can. Never underestimate the power of Kegels. If you need a kegel program, let me know…I can share what has worked for me as a man and what resource I use too.
Remember, sex is 90% in the mind. I’m all for spending 20 minutes or more on arousal when you can take the time. In fact, I love to do that and longer. But when you cannot, sexual arousal can happen as quickly for women as for men. The key is learning your spouse and discovering those triggers that create almost instant arousal. And developing those triggers further. You can also pre-arouse through sexting, sexual banter, contact throughout the day.
This concept is interesting and even grand in theory. But I am having a hard time with this idea, because who has this much time (20 min her, 20 min him, plus however long actual intercourse takes) to make this a habit on a daily/2x a day schedule? I guess it comes down to a choice of “quantity vs quality”, at least for us. :/ Since he takes the lead, quantity it is for us.
Sounds interesting. I’m not sure I could swing 20 minutes of foreplay for me past Wifey. She has a hard time getting mentally in the groove for sex in the first place that I fear she would lose it while focusing on me. Plus, she has said in the past that she feels awkward during foreplay and isn’t sure what to do. (I may have found a future question! Stay tuned!) However, if we could figure out mutual stimulation, it may work. In the meantime, I’ll start working on my kegels.
Is “vestibular bulbs” another term for outer labia? Or does it encompass inner and outer labia? Or is it something else entirely? And if it does include the outer labia, is there a more precise indicator than “puffy”? I feel mine have become…stretched?…over time because of skin irritation and already seem somewhat enlarged over what they used to be.
Also, does full engorgement in the perineum affect how long a man can last?