Tight or normal


    Hello! I have a situation and really curious if this is normal or not. When we try PIV it usually takes about 40 seconds to 1 min, DH slowly entering until he is fully in. He needs to go in really slow because it is not confortable for me. It is not very painful, but still. At first, as I was looking into this I thought it might be vaginismus, but from my research, this is more serious stuff and I concluded since we do PIV and it is not that painful, I don’t have it. So it occureed to me that this might be normal. Is it?

    I am mainly also thinking, but this is another topic, about ways to O, and one advice is to start manually then go into PIV and DH can finish rubbing with him inside. In my situation this cannot be since it takes adjusting time… 

    Add Comment
    11 Answer(s)
      Best answer

      Are you fully aroused when he starts penetrating? It’s definitely normal for women who aren’t aroused enough.

      Under the stars Answered on May 2, 2020.
      Add Comment

        Everyone is different, but I find that my wife is much tighter immediately following her orgasm, often to the degree that penetration is almost impossible. Her vaginal opening is much more relaxed in that time between arousal and orgasm, but as soon as she reaches orgasm, she vlamps down tight. After a few minutes, she gradually relaxes. It may be that your response is similar.

        It may be worthwhile to experiment a little with your sequence amd try penetration at different stages.

        On the floor Answered on May 2, 2020.

        As a language aficionado I’m loving “vlamps down” in this context.

        on May 2, 2020.

        I caught that too. Wasn’t sure, and am still not sure, if it was a typo or not.


        on May 2, 2020.
        Add Comment

          Hm, good question. Usually, we go into PIV after a small O during manual, meaning i come firts, then it is his turn. We do use lube. Sometimes we use it for manual as well since I am not wet enough.
          I am not sure if I gave a complete answer, that’s the best I have.

          Twin bed Answered on May 2, 2020.

          Sounds to me like you are following the right ‘procedure’ and this is just kind of a normal thing, probably.  The only ‘cure’I know  would be childbirth— well maybe fisting, but that’s kind of unusual and not something I would recommend just to deal with something like this.

          on May 3, 2020.
          Add Comment

            My DW  is also tighter after an O. How much depends on various factors such as her arousal level pre-O (lower level = greater tightness) and what point she is in her cycle.

            Several options you might want to try:

            1. Take more time in foreplay and try to increase arousal before your O.

            2. Wait for a few minutes after your O, have him arouse you again, and then start IC.

            3. Have him O first and then bring you to an O manually afterwards.

            On the floor Answered on May 2, 2020.
            Add Comment

              My wife was like that before we had our first baby,  If you have long foreplay, with lots of direct stimulation of you, it can ease things.  But even with that. we took it easy.  If you are jumping straight to intercourse, that will be an issue.

              My wife is not a big fan of a lot of foreplay, and wants me to ease in like that, and do ‘contractions’ she calls it, flexhing muscles to kind of lift up my penis.  We use lube for this.  Slowly I start to move a little and work my way in.  I slowly pick up the pace.  This is after 4 kids now.  

              California King Answered on May 3, 2020.
              Add Comment

                My wife used to need a lot of adjusting time for PIV when we first got married, like five minutes of very slow easing in and stopping before I could really start thrusting. Having a baby solved that. Ha.

                California King Answered on May 3, 2020.
                Add Comment

                  We’ve never experienced this; whenever DW is aroused, she is so well lubricated that sliding in is completely smooth and effortless. Having had children didn’t make any difference to this.

                  Is you husband, hmm, very big?

                  Fell out of ... Answered on May 3, 2020.
                  Add Comment

                    I am sorry I cannot comment to each post. So I will write here my replies:


                    @Tantalum:  I am putting my hopes in that too,  With having kids 🙂

                    I cannot compare it, I do thought about this too, but I don’t want to research. I think he is, but it is just my intuition….


                    @SLS: Thanks for your input.

                    1.I am not sure what to do to increase arousal. Any resources for me to study this better?

                    2. We did not try this indeed, usually after manual stimulation, ending in a small O, we try PIV in 1 or 2 minutes.

                    3. We’ll also try this, although the problem it that after this my vulva is kinda used to movement there and I am not sure if it will respond. One of the good things with me coming first is that it goes gradually, small touches, longer touches, rubbing etc.


                    @MrMarried -thanks! It is just a bit of turn down with taking a longer time…


                    @Epaminondas – yeah I hear that a lot, having kids 🙂


                    @69gryshades – we use lube. I am not sure what the difference is and if we are comfortable with that…


                    Twin bed Answered on May 8, 2020.
                    Add Comment

                      As several men have mentioned here, giving you an O first may leave you much “tighter” than you would be pre O. I know my DW certainly feels tighter after an O, and even tighter after a second one.

                      Question: do you have this problem if he enters you before an O? Answering that would help in narrowing down the troubleshooting.

                      Another factor to consider is the non-uniformity of your natural lubrication. There have certainly been times where my DW is quite aroused but entry will still have some “patches” that need a little working to get through because of non-uniformity of the lube. Getting this “spread out” either with PIV or a his fingers prior to your O might help, particularly if you are not as “tight” pre-O.

                      The PIV position can also be quite important for how easy it is to enter.


                      Under the stars Answered on May 14, 2020.
                      Add Comment

                        I take it very slow forplay. Tease her manually then when she is soaked I go oral on her till she begs for IC where she explodes with an O. The key is slow. Once we go the IC route it only takes her a few minutes at best.

                        Twin bed Answered on May 16, 2020.
                        Add Comment

                        Your Answer

                        By posting your answer, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.