Today’s Question(s) of the Day: 11/18/2019

    Have you ever playfully used sex as a bargaining chip with your spouse?

    (e.g. if you help me pass my driving exam, I will dress up in role-play for you and give you hot sex)

    On the floor Asked on November 18, 2019 in Question of the Day.
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    14 Answer(s)

      Yes, I have. And so has DW!

      We know that we would have sex anyway but we make it sound like the “deal” is the way we are going to get it! I do this more than DW because I teaser her more than she teases me. It is also fun to do this because it gives the (false) impression that this is the only way we are going to get sex!

      Under the stars Answered on November 18, 2019.
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        We use playful sexual bargaining chips all the time! They are fun, flirty, and fantastical. The innuendo is far more relationally and sexually bonding than the actual transaction!

        On the floor Answered on November 18, 2019.
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          We have, but not for a long time. I’ll have to try it again.

          Fell out of ... Answered on November 18, 2019.
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            Yes.  Just for fun.  Sex should be playful and this is one way we play.  Never coercive, never manipulative, but sometimes daring and pushing the envelope.  Sex should never be used to prove anything, except love.

            Queen bed Answered on November 18, 2019.
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              Yes, we have, though I don’t recall any details. I know there are times I was trying to get things done, like in the kitchen, and he’s all handsy and won’t leave me alone, I will throw out a playful threat that if he doesn’t stop he won’t get sex later. He just laughs and says something like, “Oh really!?! Is that right!?!” but he’ll usually stop after that.

              Under the stars Answered on November 18, 2019.
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                Yes. It’s the only time using sex as a bargaining chip or incentive is ok. All in good fun.

                Queen bed Answered on November 18, 2019.
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                  No, not intentionally or otherwise.

                  Fell out of ... Answered on November 18, 2019.
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                    I’ve done it in a playful teasing way towards my wife. She’s very conservative and LD, but willing when it comes to sex so maybe I’m projecting what I’d really like for her to do. For example, if I’m asking her for specific help with something out of the ordinary I might say, “if you’ll help me with this I’ll make sure to take care of you later in the bedroom.” Usually gets me a playful roll of the eyes or a grin.

                    Queen bed Answered on November 18, 2019.
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                      Yes.  I will sometimes ask dh to do a special project for me, stop and grab something at the store etc. and tell him I will “make it worth his while” and he will sometimes tell me (tongue in cheek obviously) that I “owe him” for something he did for me.

                      Fell out of ... Answered on November 19, 2019.
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                        Yes, but not for a while. Always in a flirtatious and fun way, never as a power tool.

                        Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on November 19, 2019.
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