Today’s Question(s) of the Day for 10/11/2019
Why can’t kinky sex be romantic?
I’ve read that if you need sex to be kinkier because you’re bored, you probably have personal issues with connecting emotionally.
I think if you can be emotionally present during sex, you can be as kinky as you want and still keep it romantic.
In all seriousness. If I had to choose… kinkier, but those definitions are likely moving targets for many and will vary with the members of this site. My wife and I had this discussion the other day. A few weeks back she said, “I want romance tonight” . I told her, please be specific as to what this really looks like to you, I don’t want to do flowers candles and cook dinner only for you to say “what I meant was slow and easy lovemaking” or vice versa.
It depends on how well we have been connecting sexually outside the bedroom. Lots of flirty and fun interaction make me feel like I have been romanced so I am ready for kinky, but if we have been like ships passing in the garage, I need romance to connect or kinky will make me feel used.
It really depends. Sometimes slow and easy and long is the very best and other times “I just need to be taken!” kind of sex is what I crave. And that leans more toward the “kinky” side, or at least pushing the boundaries a bit. I prefer to think of it as “adventuresome” rather than “kinky.”