Today’s Question(s) of the Day for 8/12/2019

    Subject: Tired or Long Day

    • Do you ever try to have sex with your spouse even if you or they are really tired or do you try another time?
    • What is the best lazy sexual positions that you have found work for you if you or they are extremely tired?
    • Do you get frustrated that the sex is not that great if they are tired?  Why or Why not?
    California King Asked on August 12, 2019 in Question of the Day.
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    12 Answer(s)

      I used to get resentful if she was “too tired”, because that just isn’t a problem. It can be hard to understand how she can be too tired for sex when I am the one working 60 hours and all the commute that often entails. Usually when I call her in the AM while out of town, I have been awake for 2 or 3 hours, and she is just getting up.

      I have come to understand that our bodies just work differently. Mine functions well with minimal sleep most of the time. Hers, not so much.

      King bed Answered on August 12, 2019.
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        1) I don’t initiate sex if either of us have had a long day or are tired. But that doesn’t seem to slow him down, ONLY when he had low T, has he ever been too tired for sex. If his hormones are close to normal, no matter how sick or tired he is, I think he would have sex. It has to be an extreme case of exhaustion for me to keep us from having sex..***

        2) Since I am always the one tired or exhausted and he’s desiring sex, it’s either missionary or doggy. Extreme tiredness and “Let’s make this quick, and there is zero chance of me putting in any mental effort”, makes doggy the go-to choice in that situation. If there’s even the slightest chance my responsive desire might kick in or that I could have an O, missionary is what we do.

        3) What I get frustrated about is when we are both exhausted, and rather than him saying, “Tomorrow night.”, he still goes for it but he skips the little things that I enjoy the most and what would get me in the space of semi-desiring it. That’s what triggers feeling used.

        *** being “tired” seems like a lame excuse for me personally, because I am almost always tired during sexually available times, and I had chosen “yes” over 6 years ago. Being exhausted and totally drained, that’s when decisions have to be made on whether I seek a deferment.

        Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on August 12, 2019.
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          if wife is ok , I like to have sex even if I am tired. Usually its PIV missionary position, with lot of thrusting, little foreplay.

           

          I have notices one thing, If I am driving all day, on  a trip I prefer to end the day with PIV sex.

          Queen bed Answered on August 12, 2019.
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            • Many times I have gone ahead anyway when I am tired, although I respect my wife whenever she says she is too tired for sex.

            • Missionary position.

            • We usually don’t have sex when she is very tired, so I am not sure I can really answer that. When we’ve had sex when I am very tired it is actually usually much more enjoyable than normal (we have talked about this and believe it is because I am not as self-conscious about my body and am able to let go of all my inhibitions because I am simply to exhausted to think very much).

            Queen bed Answered on August 12, 2019.
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              I’m usually up for a quickie even if I’m really tired, but an orgasm for me is not going to happen, it’s like I’m too tired to put in the mental energy it would take. Best for me would be doggie with my head and upper torso on the bed , he can usually thrust deep and fast that way without pain for me even if I’m not really warmed up. The only time I get frustrated is if it’s been a long spell of quickies without a longer time for me because he has prioritized other things during windows of opportunity in the morning/day hours when I was not tired.

              Hammock Answered on August 12, 2019.
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                Don’t do it if either of us are that tired..there are other days, plenty of other days 🙂

                Queen bed Answered on August 12, 2019.
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                  If we are tired, usually it is my wife, we lay next to each other while I MB.

                  Queen bed Answered on August 13, 2019.
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                    • Do you ever try to have sex with your spouse even if you or they are really tired or do you try another time?
                      • I try to suggest that we skip the times where she is plum tuckered out yet I think she feels “obligated” and normally turns me down.
                    • What is the best lazy sexual positions that you have found work for you if you or they are extremely tired?
                      • She prefers missionary so she can lay on her back and I straddle her legs with her legs closed.
                    • Do you get frustrated that the sex is not that great if they are tired?  Why or Why not?
                      • At times I use to and still have to ask God to help me to be thankful and not grumble.  Like Doug pointed out, our bodies and energy levels are different (hers will dip in the evening or if she eats too much sugar), I need to honor how God made us different.
                    California King Answered on August 12, 2019.
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                      1.  Neither.  I don’t try to have sex with my husband at all.  I don’t enjoy it for myself and he asked me to stop initiating for his sake.  I am available to him if he wants it.
                      2.  When I’m really tired I like modified doggy style, where I put my head down on my pillow and just let him have at it.  Standing beside the bed bent at a right angle lying on it from the waist up works really well too.  These positions work well for me because I’m a belly sleeper.  One of my EA partners told me his favorite position of all was “Cheeks” or what I’ve seen called here “Hot dog in bun” which his wife used to offer him whenever she was very tired.
                      3. No.  Sex isn’t great for me under any circumstances, so there’s no difference.
                      California King Answered on August 12, 2019.
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                        It depends. If it has been more than a couple of days, we will often do it even if we are tired. But otherwise, we can wait til morning or the next night.

                        Lazy position? If I’m receiving it would be lying on my back receiving OS or a HJ. For DW, usually missionary.

                        No, we don’t get frustrated. We understand that life is busy and that we’ll probably live another day to enjoy it then! So, we don’t stress out over that.

                        Fell out of ... Answered on August 12, 2019.
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