Today’s Question(s) of the Day for 8/16/2019
I believe it is. And I would hope that for Christians, who are living in submission to Christ and under the empowerment of the Spirit, it would not only be common but also fully wholesome and mutually enjoyable. In the Body of Christ, we are to be one with Him and one another. And, we’re not to make a big deal out of male and female, slave and free, etc. How? Perhaps like we are doing here on TMB.
I think that if you are married relationships with the opposite sex should happen with your spouse/family and or their spouse/family. I think its possible to have a friendship but that friendship (with an opposite sex) should include your spouse. I don’t think members of the opposite sex should be alone together (unless they are married). Except in the case of pastoral counseling, and even then some safeguards should be in place, our pastor counsels women but is always careful to have his wife in the same building, the door to his office has a window on it etc.
Yes its very possible to be in a platonic relationship with the opposite sex.
We meet with the opposite sex everyday, at work, at school, at church, in the neighborhood etc. Personally I greet people of the opposite sex – who I know, who smile with me , who wants to be friends etc. I have made friends with members of the opposite sex at work, at school, at church, here on TMB etc. I DON’T DO SEX WITH THEM by the grace of God.
Platonic friendship with the opposite sex yes and no.
The key word in your question is platonic.
- (of love or friendship) intimate and affectionate but not sexual.
Its very easy to engage in sex with the opposite sex. It takes the grace and power of God to overcome the temptation of sex. True Christians would want to stay away from sex with anybody they are not married to. There is a danger in been in an intimate and affectionate relationship with the opposite sex, someone has said that a man and a woman cannot be friends, they will fall in love.
Yes, it is possible. It is very easy to have casual friendships with the opposite sex; I have more male friends than female friends. It is also possible to have close relationships with the opposite sex. One of my best friends is John. I love him like a brother. He and my husband are friendly acquaintances, but they are not friends.
There are parameters that have to be followed in a close friendship with the opposite sex. There’s a great book about this, the “Bible” of opposite-sex friendships vs. emotional affairs: “Not Just Friends” by Shirley Glass. She uses the metaphor of walls and windows. Among other considerations, the main gist is that you don’t do anything with your friend that you wouldn’t want your spouse to see (windows) and you don’t confide in your friend about your relationship (walls.) And if you find yourself having thoughts or feelings about that person that you wouldn’t want to tell your spouse about, you need to create a lot more distance in the friendship or call it off.
I think its very possible. I have had several friendships like that. But I have also thought about some of them, that it was a very good thing we weren’t married, nor ever had to worry about marriage, as we would fight like crazy if we had to live together! Sometimes one just needs a male perspective on something. One time, in a really bad time in my life, DH told me I needed to tell some other male and ask for his advice, as he told me he didn’t know up from down anymore. So I did, and got wonderful encouragement.
It is possible with boundary limits. The vice president never counsels a woman. He has boundaries. But it is not wise to court temptation. We are to watch and guard ourselves against temptation, (Matt. 26:41). Though we are strong in spirit we are often weak in the flesh and therefore need the wisdom of having so-called platonic relationships. Be careful, impose limits, guard yourself, protect your reputation, etc.
I have many opposite sex friends at work, however, there is a big difference between these friendships and the ones I have with my male friends. With my work friends (male and female), we mainly chat about work issues (obviously), family concerns, and other topics of mutual interest (the latest movies, good places to eat, our kids, what we did on vacations, etc.). But I rarely ever spend time with female work friends after work, unless they are married and even then it is usually with both of our spouses in attendance.
For me, the deepest friendships are with my male friends doing things like golfing, discussing philosophy and religion, playing games, etc. It is not unusual for me to hang out with my male friends for many hours; I cannot imagine doing this with a member of the opposite sex.
Sure it is. I have had many relationships with women as a friend. To be honest, with some of these, there exist brief moments of wondering what sex with them would be like, or even feeling sexually attracted to them at times. Yet I am not a slave to those feelings and I choose by the grace of God to keep the relationship chaste. Because of the way God made men and women, I think it’s normal for men and women in friendship to feel sexual / romantic attraction towards one another at some level. But it’s also possible to put those attractions under the control of the Holy Spirit, to recognize they are normal, and continue on in friendship. And as always, maintain good boundaries, for both of your sakes.
Yes, its most certainly possible. My wife actually relates better to guys than to other women. As long as proper boundaries are maintained (e.g. not dissing your spouse or discussing deep marital problems, keeping an appropriate emotional distance, bringing your spouse into the loop, etc.) platonic friendships are acceptable and can ultimately be a blessing.