Today’s Question(s) of the Day for 8/9/2019
What are your top 3 worst gifts you received from friends or family (e.g. gifts that would qualify as ‘white elephant gifts”)?
Bonus: What sexual related white elephant gifts you received or bought that you don’t use or threw away?
I received a vacuum for Mother’s Day one year… In H’s defense, he will literally buy me anything I ask for, and the vacuum was the most recent thing I said I wanted.
My mom was always buying me clothes and it was almost always something she also bought for herself… with 30 years of age difference… our tastes are quite different. I’ve convinced her to give money instead.
Other than that, I generally really like the gifts I receive.
I do not get sexual related gifts, though I wish DH would consider it. Particularly clothing.
I don’t know which is the worst….
1) A very strong smelling floral hand cream. All I could smell was “old woman” and it gave me a headache. I appreciated the heart behind it, “just because I missed you”, so I tried to make use of it, but I just couldn’t.
2) A Valentine’s Day with an array of Dollar Tree items, surrounding our toilet. He knew it would be a place I wouldn’t miss it. I couldn’t help but cry about it then, but it’s something we laugh about now! (Gifts is his lowest, and I mean loooow, love language. 😉 )
3 / Bonus) A skimpy piece of lingerie with a string bikini, that was too small and though I could squeeze into it, I looked like an exploded can of biscuits 😆
I have received gifts I felt neutral about, but never anything unwelcome. My sister and I stopped spending money on each other at Christmas, and instead exchange bizarre, useless gifts as a gag, but we just give a printout of what we found online instead of actually ordering it. We give what we would have spent on each other to world hunger relief organizations, and we still have something surprising under the tree to wonder about and unwrap.
Non-sexual white elephant gifts:
- An action movie collection (I even tried to sell them…nope…nobody wants them..sigh)
- A Star Wars themed game (Ditto with selling…nope)
- An inflatable wrestling game was given to us on Christmas (the thought did count…still…uh…no)
Sexual white elephant gifts:
Mostly me coming up with “brilliant” ideas for sexy gifts only to have my sexy dream go down in flames:
- Vibrators (yeah…that worked as well as dehydrated water).
- Lingerie (she wore this for a while and then got rid of it)
- Thong underwear (I wore this for her for a bit however due to me being frustrated about our sex life, I chucked it)
There was one year when my mom was still alive, when she was having a bipolar/manic episode around Christmas. (I’m pretty sure all 3 of us kids were grown and gone when this happened.) She bought each of us an identical world globe. She was really ticked off that we didn’t get all excited about them too.
I remember another Christmas when my husband had gone to Kmart at the last minute on Christmas Eve, and bought me a 3-sizes-too-big sweatshirt with cardinal birds on it, and a glass milk jug with cows on it, filled with cocoa mix. I’m pretty sure that was the last Christmas we exchanged any gifts, because I had put a lot of thought and effort into his and I was tired of being disappointed every year.
When I was a kid, my grandma used to get me and my cousin–who were very different girls–the exact same presents every Christmas, but at least she combined the interests of both of us into one. Which is why one year my cousin got a bunch of Nancy Drew books she would never read and I got a Star Wars board game that I eventually played but had NO IDEA what any of it meant! (Caught in a tractor beam? They have John Deere in space?)
The irony is that my dear geeky hubby would LOVE to have my vintage Star Wars board game, and I would love to give it to him…if I only knew where it was.
As for sex related white elephants: the only thing I can think of is that at our wedding rehearsal we were given a pair of anatomically “correct” ceramic turtles. It’s not like they can just go on any old shelf…
A battery operated dog nail file (basically a dremmel tool with a spinning sandpaper head on it). Our dog was terrified of it and even if she hadn’t been, it would have taken ten minutes per nail to get them down to a short enough length.
A coffee maker (I don’t drink coffee)
My mom always manages to pick out clothes that I would never wear.