“Train Your Body to Become More Responsive During Sex”

    I saw a link to this and thought it was very interesting and that it may be a good resource for some.

    Train Your Body to Become More Responsive During Sex

     

    Any thoughts on it?

     

     

     

    Science requires an easy and repeatable environment. Then comes the work that needs repeating 100 times or more with different people in this case and ages. Then look at the data. What are your results? Is 80% favorable good? How about 50%? If, in the case of the writer, one success is good…well…try the method. I’m more of a 90% favorable results kind of person.

    on March 23, 2020.
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      The article reiterates some great points, practice often…try different things….expand flexibility…use/train your mind. Ultimately, all of these things mean giving time and effort to the activity and relationship.  Sadly, many women AND men, refuse to honor God and their spouse in the marriage bed and/or they come to the marriage bed with an O as the end game rather than emotional, physical AND spiritual connection. Sex is fun and DW and I use it for connection AND recreation. Taking time as the article suggests should be a fun activity & event couples should regularly do to get out of a rut…to experience new things…to discover new ways of relating and expression as our mind and bodies change over time.

      Final thought: I’m just still trying to train my brain and body to slow down :LOL , ’cause there is one thing I do right now to my wife that we’ve started enjoying that just sets me on fire when she’s also stimulating me at the same time. 😀

       

      On the floor Answered on March 23, 2020.
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        @Brynna’s comment about an “open mind and willingness” made me think of how easy it is to find a way that works, and then how easy it is to make an assumption that other ways “just aren’t me”. Having multiples is what comes to my mind immediately for myself.

        We also have to get past those mental blocks, like not being willing to touch ourselves, or to take some charge and making the sexual exploring about us (the wife) so we can learn to become more responsive, rather than taking the more comfortable route of depending on our husbands to take the full lead…there’s only so much he can do.

        Under the stars Answered on March 23, 2020.
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          I totally agree with that article. I think its excellent. All one really needs is an open mind and a willingness.

          Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on March 23, 2020.
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            Excellent article and advice. There are very good advice and ideas on this Christian blogger’s site.

            One of the benefits of years of marriage and aging is the natural slowing pace of sexual intimacy in terms of touch, closeness, response, etc. We’ve found that both of us are enjoying the delight of tuning into each other’s response and even finding new erogenous areas that spark us. The goal is not an orgasm; the goal is enjoying each other’s and our own sexual delight.

            Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on March 23, 2020.
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              @Happily Married,

              Did you have to overcome that taboo, that good Christians don’t do that and if so, how were you able to change so that it’s okay to explore?”

              I did not have to overcome that taboo, I had to overcome the guilt of doing it.   I almost said that I had to overcome doing it in front of my husband, and then I realized that wasn’t really true.  I have always been able to reach my hand down there and stimulate myself (before the bullet vibe) when PIV wasn’t doing it on it’s own.

              The study Passion Pursuit is a great study to help women work through these kind of things (the videos are almost a must, IMO.)  It helps women to see what God says about sex and that He blesses it within marriage, and it walks through what is okay and not, and how to help one determine if it’s something they should personally do.

              Under the stars Answered on March 23, 2020.

              Thanks SC for the response.  Is the study you refer to online?  I’d like to get a copy, for research purposes of course!

              on March 24, 2020.

              I don’t know if it’s online or not, I would guess it may be. It’s by Linda Dillow and Juli Slattery. One can always just order the book, I am not sure how accessible the videos are. I took it with Chris at The Forgiven Wife, and the group got a link to the videos through her. She does a Spring and Fall study. They just began the Spring one. Though one could work through the workbook on their own, hearing the authors speak were much more impactful, at least for me.

              on March 24, 2020.
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                Time seems to be an issue for us as well.  There’s lots of things we say we should practice, but then schedules interfere/interrupt any plans.  For the past 2+ years my wife’s position in healthcare have created some real challenges and with the current corona virus issue has created additional challenges.  She comes home exhausted and ready to crash to get up and do it again the next day.  Patience and much support for her on my part and prayer for her during this stressful time are important to maintain a good relationship along with not being demanding.  We connect when we can.

                Hammock Answered on March 24, 2020.

                Bless her and you both!!

                on March 24, 2020.
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                  @NWNL, I do think that this is geared towards women, and many men are working at learning or have had to learn as you… to slow down 😀

                  Under the stars Answered on March 23, 2020.
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                    Thanks for sharing! Putting in the effort to learn new things and to develop sexually would help a lot of couples!

                    Under the stars Answered on March 23, 2020.
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                      Thanks SC for your comments.  I would like my wife to get to that point of self exploration to help guide me better.  I think she has the mindset that it’s dirty.   She tends to stick with the tried and true as you said “this works for me” so nothing else is going to work.  Did you have to overcome that taboo, that good Christians don’t do that and if so, how were you able to change so that it’s okay to explore?

                      Thought the article was good as well.  Any merit to the classes for husbands and wives?

                      Hammock Answered on March 23, 2020.

                      The classes receive high marks.

                      on March 23, 2020.

                      My thoughts are similar to yours… DW thinks that PIV is the ONLY sex ordained by our Creator for His children.   And because she is normally available to me for PIV she believes we have a healthy,”normal” MB and that I should be happy with it.

                      I will send the linked article to her and ask her to read it so we can discuss it, but I don’t think it will get very far based on previous similar attempts to broaden our horizons together.

                      on March 23, 2020.
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                        I, too, liked the article.

                        However, it is not clear to me how to execute much of this in a practical way.  Several things are required:

                        • Patience
                        • A desire from both spouses
                        • Being okay with “failed” sessions, likely frequently
                        • Lots of time
                        • Willingness to try very new things that may be uncomfortable at first
                        • For pre-menopausal women, trying the same things but in several different times of her cycle

                        That’s a lot to overcome. For us, the main problem would be lack of time (four single-digit-aged kids, gahhh!) On top of that, I struggle with dealing with “failed” sessions, and Zelda typically moves quite slowly with new things and doesn’t have the drive/desire to do it frequently. In the one time of her cycle that she has that drive, she accepts pleasure quite readily but really struggles to O, which is really confusing and makes “results” hard to interpret.

                        So I’ll keep this in mind, but I’m not quite sure where to go with it.

                        -Scott

                        On the floor Answered on March 24, 2020.

                        i feel the same way and while i DO think the mind is a very important thing, in my case especially, hormones make far more of a difference than mental and physical gymnastics, i don’t really know what she had in mind for being able to orgasm almost on command in any position.  I agree with you on the above, we don’t have the stamina or the time or even really the inclination. We know what’s tried and true and what will get me there and while i wish it was different i don’t think we really have it “in us” to really pursue things differently. Maybe we can try…

                        We recently tried for me to PIV with a vibrator and it may or may not happen but it can only happen in the 2 positions we are able and more likely to if i’m really horny (ie hormones!!) and if my husbands ED is cooperating! So i get it that she is helping women deal with the mental aspect of it but to go to having an O in almost any situation she hasn’t really made clear nor do i think it is entirely mental.

                        on March 24, 2020.
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