UPDATE (sadly not a happy one) to my marriage situation- please pray
Hello everyone, it’s been a while since I’ve posted and it’s been absolutely crazy.
I wanted to update a bit on my situation bc I know you prayed early on, and I would love further prayers as this tragic situation unfolds.
I stated how my spouse came out last summer after 4 years of marriage as transgender. That was basically the end of an already mostly rocky marriage 🙁 We have been separated since the fall so over 7 months… overall we are amicable which i am thankful for, but our toddler daughter is with me and i live with my parents… we are not intimate in any way. it’s basically like a non marriage 🙁 ; it’s like a friendship with a nice, but sadly very confused person.
My spouse started publically cross dressing and wearing makeup soon after he told me he felt like a female. Changed name publically. My spouse then began female hormones in february and is starting to have a kinda female figure which is disturbing. He more recently says now thought that he’s gender fluid or non binary but leans female. It’s really confusing to watch and clearly he doesn’t know who he is, and mentally ill or not he’s unable to act as my husband.
He told me in February around the start of hormones, that he wanted a divorce, but he did not initiate filing for one. I have been really struggling with whether or not I should wait and pray… or keep praying for a miracle but file . I don’t believe divorce is good and i believe it grieves God and i absolutely struggle with this… We talked about it again the other day and decided that there’s really no way forward and are going to meet with a mediator next week to talk about the divorce process… maybe i’ll never feel 100% ok about it… but i guess i realize there is no peace in my life, and i want to try to get custody before the possibility that he changes his mind regarding this (i know that he struggled when i was pregnant bc he didn’t feel like a dad and had motherhood dysphoria and i want to protect her)… Please pray for wisdom as we meet with this person… that I know if it’s time and the person we should be meeting with… I know it says in the bible that if the unbeliever leaves the believer isn’t bound as God calls us to peace and it seems like that is clearly what happened here in every way. Plus sexual immorality- as far as i know no cheating yet but basically he probably broke himself with the hormones and now has a kinda womanly shape with little boobs and i’m most def not attracted . so he’s sexually unavailable permanently. I asked recently “are you sure you can’t be my husband?” and he cannot. he can be my friend and coparent. The trans thing has killed my husband. In some ways i feel like a widow may feel and almost that he melted. It’s sad.
Please continue to pray for wisdom for me… as we possibly go through the divorce process in the very near future… pray it’s smooth as i expect… and please pray for us as we coparent with a pretty literally lost person, that I can be strong and filled with christ’s wisdom . I tend to be passive and he already makes comments I don’t like… he’s planting interesting things in her 2 year old mind… the other day we were in the park and he asked my daughter if her stuffed bunny was a boy girl both or in between 🙁 it’s hard to coparent when you are on such different pages… just pray i can hear the voice of Truth in all of this craziness. Started with Christian counselor this week! its still hard to believe i never pictured divorcing after 5 years of marriage (our 5 year anniversary just came a few weeks ago… 🙁 ) at age 30 but you never go in thinking your husband will do a gender change lol
Thank you so so much.
Will. I will also pray that your daughter’s innocence will be protected and that the Holy Spirit will preserve truth in her heart so that the falsehoods the enemy wants to plant in her through her misguided father will not root. Keep telling her the truth constantly and trust the Holy Spirit to guide her to Himself. My heart aches for you both!
Thanks for coming back and sharing. Have been praying and wondering. So sad 🙁
It must be beyond difficult. We know you didn’t see this coming, didn’t plan for it in any way, nor are you at fault. This is evidence of the power of sin and evil at work in our world – even as the Kingdom of God through Jesus seeking to expand. But because you are in Christ, you are safe and because He is in you, you can be strong!
Yes, may God give you wisdom, strength, fortitude, and much grace to be faithful to Jesus and to protect your daughter.
Father in heaven, I pray for Bunny and her daughter today that you bless them and deliver them to the blessing I know you have in store for those who are yours. Please give Bunny wisdom and strength to know Your will for her and how You wish her to proceed.
I pray also for her husband that the darkness that has a hold of him will leave him.
Thank you for your follow up with news that is heartbreaking. Praying for God’s protection, grace and peace as you move forward. It already sounds like you are clinging to Him as your refuge. Praying too, for the conviction of God’s Spirit on your husband to see the Truth. Stand strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.