Vasectomy – your experiences M & F?
My wife and I have decided that we are done with the baby making season of our life. I have been using condoms as our sole form of BC, which has been fine, but the one or two days we go bare post period are soooooooo great. So we have come to the conclusion that I/we are good to go with a vasectomy.
I’d like to get some insight about how it affected your marriage bed leading up to and post surgery. Have some anxiety about my own performance after surgery but everything I have read so far says that it is extremely safe, and there should be little to no difference after you have healed up and have cleared the count tests.
Getting me a vasectomy was one of the best choices we ever made in our marriage bed. My surgery was uncomplicated, and my DW watched it. Recovery was pretty straightforward with me resuming light exercise after 3 days and intercourse after 9.5 days (couldn’t wait the full 10!). So personally, it was an outstanding choice.
The benefits are awesome. For us, the best benefit was being able to fully enjoy our favorite position, as the condom would rub her in a bad way in that position. Another benefit was that there was no break in action while I “suited up” (which often caused me to lose the erection). It also meant no concerns about accidental pregnancy. For couples using hormonal BC, the benefits are even better because it gets the wife off of that stuff.
Just so you know, if you monitor your wife’s basal body temperature and mucous signs, you can go condom free during most of her Luteal Phase (post ovulation) as well. We did solely NFP at the start of our marriage, which is how we know that, and we utilized that knowledge throughout the rest of it as well to great success–those condom-free times are definitely awesome. 🙂
We both hate condoms, what can we say?
I had a V after my third kid. It freed up the MB in my first marriage for awhile without the need for BC and it has definitely been a big blessing in my second now since BC isn’t an issue. DW said BC caused problems for her so she is not a fan of hormonal BC and she loves the feeling of “skin on skin”. Plus with my age, most of the time, I can use all the stimulation I can get. =) It is freeing not to have to be concerned about BC and pregnancy which means once the launch sequence has started or the train has left the station, you don’t need to worry about pulling the plug to find, OPEN, and install correctly the contents of a little square wrapper and losing the moment and momentum!
We had no issues around it. My husband actually asked to be knocked out (heavily sedated) because he didn’t want to know what was going on…. he doesn’t do well with any kind of medical procedure. I don’t remember the details around the recovery time.
The only thing I recommend is make sure you both are in total agreement. I have had regret because I know I made the decision out of fear, and we may have missed out on a blessing or two out of it.
No problems here, either. I also echo SC’s thought on making sure you are both in total agreement. Although we have several children and knew any more pregnancies would likely be high risk, I still did a bit of grieving that never again would we have any babies.
That being said, the lack of worrying about birth control was wonderful!
It’s been great for us. Allowed DW to quit the pill and I believe that to be a significant part of the change for the better in our MB. Be sure to follow the aftercare directions so you heal well (and quickly), and don’t rush back into physical activity. Make sure you get at least 2 fully clear tests after before you stop your other BC methods. My doctor does the follow up testing for free, and said that’s an unlimited offer for life (or at least until he retires). He has a few clients who come in annually to retest just to be sure. I’m not one of them, but I like that he offers that.
Virtually no problems – I would suggest you have a urologist do it. I had my GP do mine. He’s an old guy and has done hundreds of them. He did not use the new “scalpel’ess” method. He went old-school, cut two small incisions, cut a section out of the VD, cauterized the ends, then tied it off, then sutured the sheath off. I have a little scar tissue and an adhesion on one side. Doesn’t really bother me unless you pull on it to one side. BUT – it held perfectly for about 15 years now, and we’re post-menopausal now, so… Compared to a friend of ours who has two….yes TWO oops babies. Husband was tested about 1 year post Vasectomy and was still shooting live rounds. But instead of re-doing it, the wife decided to tie her tubes. My old guy said that any Dr that tells you he is 100% is a liar or hasn’t done very many of them. Just do your research and get references if you can.
And it did nothing in the bed for us, positive or negative really.
No personal experience, but quite close to two couples who conceived between the time they decided to have the procedure and the time it was complete. I guess that tells me you shouldn’t jump the gun on tossing your other BC method. Unless you’re secretly/subconsciously hoping for a last minute baby. (I kept fantasizing about that long after I had admitted it would not be a good idea. Even now, with no uterus, I occasionally get that little wistful feeling and have to remind myself that would be an Epic Miracle, lol!)
I wanted to add, and maybe you both have already done this…. but one thing I made sure we talked about was the possibility if something ever happened to one of us. For me personally, I would never have chosen a permanent option of sterilization because if something happened to my husband and I were to remarry, I did not want to close of the chance of having children with another, even if my husband and I personally felt “done”. I also wanted him to consider the same thing, I directly said for him to consider, “If I die, is there any chance he may want more children with another wife?” And I personally left that decision to him, because he would be the one having to live with it beyond me. I didn’t want to rob him of a potential future just because of temporary feelings and circumstances.
Very worthwhile not having to use contraception. I opted to stay awake for mine (which I don’t recommend). It was pretty uncomfortable during and afterward, so be prepared. I also had lingering “achiness” for months, especially after sitting for long periods. I opted for a vesectomy before getting remarried (we each had 3 kids already). My surgery was late September, and the wedding was 6 months later. The flight for our honeymoon was still a little uncomfortable and I warned her to be gentle due to the extra sensitivity. All good now though.