I have tried a few vibrators wife my wife and her feedback is that they are too “crazy” which interprete as the vibe setting is too high even on lower settings. Does anyone have a recommendation for a vibe that has lower settings? Also heated would be nice.
Scott has done a lot of research and posts on this around here. Do a keyword search on recommendations as you’ll find a whole lot of posts
Take a look at the following link, scroll down and you’ll see a whole bunch of links Scott found for people.
My DW does not like the high-speed, buzzy kinds of vibrators. She likes the wand-style vibrator made by Body Wand. It has a wheel to adjust the vibration speed, which is pretty ‘slow’ on the lowest setting. It produces a deeper, more rumbly kind of vibration than other smaller bullets and vibes.
As for the temperature issue, prior to sex I make sure to put the wand under the covers for at least an hour so it heats up a bit.
I know that there are vibes out there that have all different kinds of settings and rhythms. We have a “wevibe” (not sure which style) and I know that some of the settings have a more pulsing action rather than a typical vibrator purr. I don’t have a specific recommendation, but you could search for something like that.
I am very sensitive to vibes. You will just have to try them out. Married Dance has some options. Some women prefer the ones that are more clitoral cuddlers, or the one that suction pulse around the clitoris. I never move past the very lowest setting on a vibe, or yes, it feels overwhelming
Also remember to ease into contact between the vibe and the clitoris. Touch it to the outer labia first or even start at the inner thighs or groin. Let it stimulate the clitoris indirectly until her excitement builds enough to appreciate direct contact or just maintain indirect contact throughout.
This one, https://www.covenantspice.com/collections/vibrators-1/products/7in-dusty-rose-velvet-touch-vibe has a variable speed, so you can turn it down very very low (or speed it up extremely high or anything in between). Despite its shape, it is ideal for application to the clitoris. I often explain the positioning I want to my husband by telling him, ‘hot dog in a bun’. The tip of the vibe is towards the vaginal opening and only the side is touching the clitoris while the labia are absorbing and redirecting some of the sensation. As things progress, it can be used in a pulling motion with the tip coming into greater contact with the clitoris.
I think this is the most times I have used the word clitoris at once in…ever. But I hope it helps.
My wife used to be the opposite—she needed super high power to get there. More recently she’s been able to get there with lower power, which had been great in her not being numb from the buzzing afterwards. We’ve been impressed with the WeVibe Touch (@Scott+Zelda swear by it too). It has 4 levels from very minimal to moderately strong, and several pattern options too. We really like that it is soft silicone so if you’re sensitive that may help too.
I know less about weaker vibrators than I do stronger ones (they get less publicity), but I’ve read a few things.
PaulB recently wrote a blog post about helping get your wife to O, and there he linked to these two as good starter options:
Jessi Powerful Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator (this one has TEN settings)
He also wrote a follow-up blog post with several good starting options as well.
From personal experience, Zelda and I know that the lowest setting on the Dame Fin is quite low. Even its second setting is pretty soft. It’s a solid vibrator, has the really soft medical-grade silicone coating, and is incredibly ergonomic. However, it’s not cheap, particularly for a vibe that weak, so that might exclude it for you.
In terms of a heated option, don’t know what to tell you there. I have a feeling that silicone-coated ones will feel less “cold”, as the thermal conductivity of most silicones is about one third that of HDPE. In the winter, I would sometimes hold ours in my hand for several minutes before we started to help warm it up.
My wife has tried several A Magic Wand is great if you like lots of power, but she prefers just a simple silver bullet. If you want to spend more, she has an Ersocillator with a silicone tip that is her favorite. She said it feels different than other vibrators and gives her an orgasm every time!