Vocalization During Sex
Just wondering how common vocalizations are during sex.
I grew up thinking all people moaned and screamed because of the negative influence of pornography, but found out once I got married that those portrayals are quite ridiculous (although I imagine there are some people who naturally scream).
I find that my DW sighs a lot when the sex is good, sometimes in a very loud and dramatic way, but she doesn’t scream or anything like that (and personally, I’m glad she doesn’t lol).
I used to make some rather loud vocalizations at first as well (which were partly intentional due to the fact that I thought that is what people did, and partly unintentional due to the surprise I felt at the new feelings of sex that I was not used to when we first married. I have learned to control these mostly because we have been “overheard” several times and even had a complaint once.) However, I still sometimes vocalize unintentionally and rather quietly if the sensations are especially intense.
My DW still sighs heavily during lovemaking and although I found it to be a strange sound to make during sex at first, I have slowly become more and more aroused by her sighing to the point that I love to listen to it now, and it tells me that I am doing what she likes 🙂
I was just wondering what the readers of TMB think regarding for reasons why we vocalize during sex and how prevalent it is.
Female here, i am somewhat quiet during foreplay because of intense concentration (too bad women have to do that) but am quite vocal during orgasm which of course my husband likes, i also imagine most women learn to be quiet because of children in the house. My husband isn’t really vocal but will breathe hard, i would be turned off quite frankly if he did do a lot of moaning and groaning, i just think that’s sexier when women do that.
My nature is not to be very vocal, so I never have been during sex. It takes away from the ability to focus and enjoy. But my husband’s nature is to be very vocal, but he really isn’t during sex either.
I am wondering if his quietness goes back to our first two years of marriage living in on-campus, married housing, at a small Christian college. There were three apartments in this old house and sound traveled easily, so maybe we set a pattern of being quiet.
I have often felt that too much vocalization bleeds off the desirable build-up of pleasure that I have been working on. (Like the little shaky thing on the old pressure cookers.) I mostly just pant or grunt and have never screamed. DH has not been in the habit of vocalizing at all, but since I have made him aware of how hard it is for me to tell if he is enjoying our LM when he makes NO response at all, he has been making an effort to give me a little more feedback, and I appreciate his effort.
I recall a fellow in my Bible study in college talking about how he hated the couple upstairs from his apartment who were extremely vocal in what seemed to be their sexual practices. He would sometimes bang on the wall to make them stop. I had a neighbor who was the same way on Friday nights with added music.
When I got married I appreciated the fact that my wife was silent. And now many years later our house is still not an empty nest and she, we are still silent, or at a whisper.
I think young couples should be required to move into a home with concrete walls, 100 yards from their nearest neighbor.
I am vocal to where times my DW would shhh me so that our DD doesn’t hear. She is rarely vocal and there are times where she is very aroused and I hit the sweet spot to where she would grunt, moan, and sigh which is very hot. When she does this, I know that this is real because again she is normally quiet.
When DW and I got married we discovered that neither of us were particularly vocal when it comes to sex. No screaming from us. lol I think DW is somewhat disappointed in my vocalizations as she really wants more romantic and detailed descriptions of what I am feeling but its hard to say anything other than “Me feel good”in the moment. When we do get vocal its usually because:
A. I’m really enjoying myself and DW is receptive to my vocalizations. The vocalizations I feel comfortable making really depend on what mood DW is in. If she isn’t feeling particularly sexual (which is most of the time) she prefer very romantic detailed vocalizations, which can be hard for me to do. On the other hand when she is feeling horny she is more receptive to my preferred vocalizations, which are about passion and physical desire (e.g. “I’m gonna :blank: you all night long”).
B. DW is nearing orgasm. The only time DW really gets vocal during sex is the run up to orgasm. She stops talking about non-sexual things and really focuses in on what we are doing. She moans at a medium volume level and tells me in an urgent tone to rub her clitoris. Its my favorite part of sex outside of orgasming.
C. I am orgasming. I moan at a medium volume level as I orgasm as well as calling out things like, “I’m coming” or “Oh, :DW’s name:” (or when I PE, “I’m sorry. 🙁 )
I am somewhat vocal during foreplay and sex. For me, it just seems natural to express my good feelings. And I feel it is a good way to affirm what DW is doing for me.
DW has become more vocal to the point that she might postpone sex if someone is staying the night and might hear her!