Was tryin2dobetter, now leaving the past behind
I’m male, in my early 50s, been married 28 years, and have 3 twenty-something kids.
On the old site, I went by the handle, tryin2dobetter. For a while I was fairly active on the old MB forum, but haven’t been so much the last few years. So what’s been going on the last 2 years.
A little over 2 years ago, I lost my job of 17 years. Even though the Lord provided me with a new job fairly quickly, I didn’t deal with being unemployed very well. I’d been free from porn for several years, and fell back in to it. I came across a “Christian blogger” who argued for various reasons that it was okay for Christians to use porn within certain parameters. Partly because I was looking for an excuse, partly because I was depressed, I resumed my porn habit.
For the month or two I was back in the habit, it was fun at first. But then the Holy Spirit worked on my, and I was miserable. I was an emotional basket case. My guilt was so bad, I had to take Benadryl and melatonin to fall asleep at night.
At the same time my college age kids (2 girls and a boy) confided that they were having issues with porn. Finally, I had enough. I called a family meeting, confessed my habit, we talked about it as a family. The only one who didn’t go down that path was my wife.
We all put Covenant Eyes on our devices and agreed to hold each other accountable. We have all stumbled since, but nothing to the extent prior to our family meeting.
So, I want to leave the past behind me, including my old handle. I’ll be as active on the new TMB as I can, but I’m pretty busy.
It’s good to be back with all of you.
Since I never made it to the old board, good to meet you! Thank you for sharing. And what a brave and inspiring example of honest and authentic parenting. I believe you may do as much for your children’s faith out of your brokenness as you could have possibly done if you never had any struggles. Blessings on all of you!
Losing a job is a high stress event. People make poor decisions under stress. For the easily addicted just a little is too much. The alcoholic can not stop with one glass of wine. We don’t condemn him or the wine. Once you know your weakness you need the Lord’s help to refrain from drinking, smoking, drugs, over eating, shopping too much, or yes porn.