Wedding night regrets

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    Even thought my husband and I have been married for a couple years, we recently had a revelation about our wedding night. For me, sex was very painful and for him, he had a terrible time staying hard. It was not how I imagined it because he was so excited for sex!! He couldn’t stay hard, and he definitely did not go wild for seeing a naked woman for the first time in his life. He admits now that things didn’t look as he expected and he was taken back by it. I could tell. Anyway, I always wondered why in the world did he not go crazy for me, even if things weren’t what he expected. And he was always going nuts over my modestly clothed body while we were dating! And why couldn’t he stay hard, when he was inside me for the first time? Well, only a few months ago did it click for us. When we left our wedding venue and headed for where we’d stay for the night, my husband was so excited for sex, that we pulled off on a dirt road and I gave him a hand job to completion…. a couple hours before we tried to have sex again. *shakes head* Honestly we did not think that through and ever since we realized it, I’ve had regrets. I had dreamed about our wedding night for so long and then it was like, very disappointing. I often wonder how much better it could have been if we had waited, and he was wound up instead of very fizzled out. I know it doesn’t matter now, but sometimes I get to thinking about it and it stirs up regret and disappointment. I also admit that I am VERY sentimental about our wedding night so I think that has something to do with it.. Does anyone else have regrets? How do you get past them?

    Twin bed Asked on November 19, 2019 in MARRIED SEX.
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      Wedding night was a Blur! We have both sat down and tried to recollect the events at the hotel suite but we always struggle with it because we were just so tired. We ate (starving from not eating at reception), then took a bath together, then is where it gets blurry… Obviously we made love but the details are limited (full belly + warm bath + exhausted = sleepy!) So my regret is not focusing on that moment earlier in the day to allow us more energy and time to connect intimately.

      Queen bed Answered on November 19, 2019.
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        Our wedding night was a bust to a boom, well, more like a series of big booms.  It took a short while to finger things out but then we were on our way!  We had read our books, taken advice and put some of that to practice.   We repeated our mistakes and had sex from about 11 pm through 2:30 am.  What does it matter how good we were at it?

        On the floor Answered on November 19, 2019.
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          Our first night & subsequent honeymoon was a mixed bag.  We were both only 20 yrs old and I had no trouble getting and keeping an erection but if there is such a thing as “too much of a good thing”  I was a case study.  Even though we had jumped the gun by about 11 weeks (honestly, our biggest regret) and her hymen had been broken, the excitement and freedom to have sex without guilt or fear of being caught, pregnancy, etc. gave me license to be a “bull in a china shop”.  I may have torn her, and DW was so sore after the first night that she didn’t want to make love for the rest of our 6 day honeymoon.   She also became constipated and her stomach hurt.   K-Y jelly and Ex Lax can be lifesavers but they don’t enhance the romance.   She ruled out OS altogether (we didn’t even try it for another year or two) so the best I got was a few HJs and she didn’t want me touching  her down there.   We cuddled, took showers together, slept nude most of the time,  and I/we enjoyed breast play immensely but my “over enthusiasm” ruined what may have otherwise been the honeymoon that my dear wife had dreamed of and deserved. 

          Hammock Answered on November 19, 2019.
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            Neither of us have regrets. It was a lovely time for us, even though things didn’t all work out like the book said. We would relive it in a heartbeat.

            On the floor Answered on November 20, 2019.
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              Thank you everyone! 🙂

              Twin bed Answered on November 21, 2019.
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                My only regret was that it had been a VERY long day and I was feeling pretty wiped out. I probably wasn’t looking or feeling my best. So it wasn’t fireworks, exactly.

                My wife is not a morning person. If she had been, I’d have loved to love her awake. But that wasn’t going to happen. So I let her sleep and went outside instead.

                Queen bed Answered on November 22, 2019.
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                  We waited for marriage.  She’s Asian.  We got married in her country.  We moved house and had a day of photo shoots right before we had the wedding.  We had sore muscles from both of those events (holding your head in weird positions after moving can wear you down after a while.)  My wife had planned the wedding.  She got up early and the party ended at 11 PM.  She’d hardly slept for days.

                  Someone followed us up from the party to our room.  It was crazy.  I waited outside till she left.  A naive unmarried girl, maybe who did not stop to think that the wedding night was important.  In my wife’s culture, they spend the wedding night at the bride’s parents house getting advice from older people, anyway.  Thankfully, we did not follow that tradition.

                  I took my clothes off fast.  My wife was surprised at how bold I was.  Her dress was harder to remove.  She wanted to bathe before we did anything.  I fingered her a bit in the bath– which was just above luke warm.  She found normal hot water scalding at the time.  That was fun.  Someone called about picking up the rented dress while we were in the bathroom.  Why couldn’t people leave us alone?  It was nearly midnight.

                  By the time I got her to the bed, she was fighting dozing off.  I sort of had sex with her, not penetrating her all the way.  We had to rush out for a flight overseas the next day.  She gave me a handjob in the morning.  I had to tell her what to do.  Finally, our flight out of the country landed and we got out in the cold, took a taxi, and went to our motel and had some proper sex.

                  It probably took her a week or so before she was really able to orgasm from sex, though.

                  Queen bed Answered on November 23, 2019.
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                    I have had two wedding nights. Needless to say they were very different.

                    Queen bed Answered on November 22, 2019.
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