I was a little older when we got married and I’d been in about 10 or 12 weddings in my life. There was no way I wanted to ask that many guys to fork out money renting a tux etc. So we wound up picking a couple we knew who had gotten married the year before and had been a bit of a mentor to us to stand in our wedding. It worked out great and I just asked all of the other guys to be ushers and my wife asked her friends to help in various ways. In the end it didn’t make a bit of difference, everyone was there and a LOT less money was spent by all of our friends.
Another thing we did was turn toward the crowd for the vows, instead of doing it with our backs to the congregation / friends.
We got married early enough we were not finishing up very late. I strongly recommend that.
We had a long drive to the honeymoon location, so we went home and left the next morning. Also a good plan.
On the way to the church, Lori stopped at my efficiency in her station wagon so we could throw in my mattress and a few other items. We left the reception in that car, with a bed in the back. I DO NOT recommend this one!
Congratulations! Keep it simple. A wedding is not a marriage. A wedding is simply the doorway to the marriage. I believe if people spent half as much time preparing for marriage as they do for the wedding, there were would be happier marriages and fewer divorces,
My son got married last summer and we didn’t spend a ton but it was still very nice. The best part though was the ceremony. The pastor who married them knew them both (baptized both of them in the past, did their premarital counseling)and he brought personal touches into the ceremony. He focused a lot on the couple growing together in Christ. We heard from several people that it was the nicest wedding they’ve ever attended because of the ceremony.
Congrats this milestone in your lives! As a professional in the wedding industry (wedding photographer) there are 2 areas that I would encourage you not to go cheap on.
- The Photographer. These are images that your daughter and her husband will cherish for the rest of their lives. You want someone who knows what they are doing and has the gear to do it correctly. Ask to see a portfolio of the wedding they’ve done, to ensure that their style is in line with what you are looking for, because not all photographers are created equally. A good photographer will guide you throughout the day and help you stay on schedule, while putting you at ease.
- The DJ. This is an area that I think many choose to skip on and do it themselves. However, a good DJ is going to keep your party going, and make the reception a night to remember.
While other areas of the wedding are important, I have found in talking with brides and grooms, as well as from my own experience that these are the two areas that people often regret not giving the proper attention and budget to when planning their wedding.
If you have any questions, I’m happy to help.
To cut costs we didn’t do a meal. We started at 3pm and had a table of finger foods, a coffee bar, and cupcakes. We also left a couple hours early! People had started to trickle out and we wanted to have the majority there for the sparkler sendoff, plus we were eager to be on our way 🙂