Wednesday, January 8, 2020 – Today’s Question(s) of the Day

    What’s the closest you’ve gotten to getting caught in the act (e.g. masturbating or having sex with your spouse)?

    On the floor Asked on January 8, 2020 in Question of the Day.
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    16 Answer(s)

      Probably the most embarrassing event took place one day when DW and I were staying at her parents. Her mum – a very quick and somewhat unobservant lady – was cooking downstairs while we were upstairs busying ourselves unpacking boxes, which somehow turned into a lovemaking session. We tried to be as quiet as possible as the door was left open. I was on top of DW and just reached to PONR when we suddenly heard DW’s mum coming upstairs. Fortunately we were covered by a thick blanket and we were only naked below the waist. I pulled out and rolled around to pretend that we were just lying next to each other in bed, having an afternoon nap, trying to look as sleepy as possible while under the blanket I was enthusiastically spurting. “Dinner’s ready!”, cried DW’s mum as she rushed in. I honestly don’t think she realized what was going on.

      DW and I still laugh when we recall the events.

      Queen bed Answered on January 8, 2020.
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        The first day that DH and I had the house to ourselves in all our years of parenthood, we threw a blanket down on our living room floor, which overlooks our front yard and driveway. As we were having sex, my phone rang, but I had turned ringer off. Next, the house phone rang amd we let it go, as well. We were just pulling ourselves together when a vehicle drove up. We rushed to get dressed and clean up all our stuff. I was comforted to know that we had locked all the house doors, as we usually do if we have a daytime session. BTW, it was my uncle and aunt. No idea if they noticed I looked unkept, haha. And tell me, why would you drive 12 miles in the middle of the day, for a small item, when nobody was answering the phones?

        On the floor Answered on January 8, 2020.
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          My wife was on top and our 3 yr old walked in…She rolled off and little girl giggled and said “mommy, why you bouncing?”

          On the floor Answered on January 8, 2020.

          Hilarious.

          on January 10, 2020.
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            Early in our marriage we lived with DWs parents for a summer while working between semesters. Her brother, a VERY naive 21 year old, freshly home from missionary work, came marching into our room without knocking one night. As we were both bottomless, I don’t think I’ve ever been so grateful for good blankets as I was right then. An uncomfortable eternity ensued in which he wanted to have a chat and we were trying to tactfully ask him to let us go to bed. Years later, DW actually told him what he had interrupted…a hilarious conversation, but you had to be there.

            Queen bed Answered on January 8, 2020.
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              Earlier in our marriage when our oldest two children were younger, they each walked in on us on separate occasions.

              Hammock Answered on January 8, 2020.
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                Our kids have walked in on us at different occasions when they were younger.

                My mom walked in on us when visiting. The room was pretty dark, but I believe a silhouette of a husband on top between a wife’s legs stretched up in the air was clearly visible… The door was closed very quickly, anyway… =D

                Double bed Answered on January 8, 2020.
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                  The closest we have come to being “caught” was when a close friend of mine came in our house one day while we were in the middle of things.  She was picking up a vehicle and didn’t know we were home because our cars were in the garage.  She let herself in the use the bathroom (as she has done many times before with our blessing).  We were upstairs in our bedroom mid romp but stopped abruptly when we heard the door open and close and the dog barking.  We both threw on clothes and ran down to see who it was, looking rather rumpled and I think my shirt was on inside out.  I don’t know if she figured out what she interrupted but neither of us ever mentioned it.  Maybe someday I’ll tell her and we will get a good laugh out of it.

                  On the floor Answered on January 8, 2020.
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                    20 y/o son & I had a training to go to and I decided to “prime DW’s pump” and didn’t want to wait to get things going when I got back so…10 minutes before we were to go, I took DW’s (not his mom) clothes off, pulled my pants down, put her on the edge of the bed, spread her legs up in a V, and got to business knowing that we probably wouldn’t finish. Son likes to be funny so he come to the door…knocked…and opened the door, said “what are you doing?” and quickly closed it, all WITHOUT looking in (I could tell since I was in view of the door.) We both yell, I pull out, DW bounces off the bed and onto the floor laughing. We come out and he and W’s teen daughters are in the living room. We came out and he’s like, “What were you doing? Were you doing coitus? Really? We had to go!!! Why couldn’t you wait?!?!?! You knew we had to go.” Wife and I responded in the affirmative to make sure he knew….and just laughed.  We have to be blunt sometimes to back him down so telling the truth was in our favor and to make sure that never happened again. (We regularly locked the door now just in case any amorous activities spontaneously occur, let alone are planned.)  In the car on the way, he didn’t want to talk, except to say, “You just couldn’t wait, could you?” “No son, a man’s gotta do, what a man’s gotta do. Next time, I’m sure you won’t come in.”

                    One time in a text conversation, same son tried to jokingly to get DW to “manipulate” me one time so I could/would do something and he suggested “withholding coitus”. She responded, “that would assume I don’t want it…and I probably want it more than he does”.   He quickly responded, “goodbye” and then screen shot the text to one of his step-sisters, who quickly yelled from her bedroom, “MOM!!!!”  Oh yeah, it was funny!!!! Teach these kids to meddle with two middle-aged adults who enjoy sex and are making up for two marriages where we were robbed of the joys of making love with our spouse, regularly or at all.

                    Fell out of ... Answered on January 9, 2020.

                    Your kids have some sense of humor.

                    on January 11, 2020.
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                      We’ve been walked in on more than once (and climbed on 😀 by our daughter), but I believe the others were unaware because of the darkness or because we were covered and being stealth enough because of the situation we were in at the time.

                      Under the stars Answered on January 8, 2020.
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                        One time when we were preparing for sex – had the throw on the bed, toys, tissue, etc. – our grown daughter walked past our door just as DW was going to the washroom to get ready! We aren’t sure if she saw anything or not. But that is our closest call!

                        Under the stars Answered on January 8, 2020.
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