Well i finally told my husband my sexual fantasy

    And it was very freeing and he was very receptive to it, mainly because (and this was a shock to me but most men would probably nod in agreement) he said he loved seeing me “turned on”.  And that was important to him to see me really sexually turned on and excited, not so much the fantasy or the sexual turn on which he finds a little weird but harmless.  I don’t know if i want to divulge what it is for fear of judgement or my TMB family thinking i’m strange.  I don’t think it is sinful but it very well could be and i have to guard myself although i completely trust my husband.  (this isn’t talking about fantasies of ANYONE ELSE or something sinful like that).

    Because of my sexual awakening our marriage bed is more exciting than it has ever been, it has always been very vanilla for whatever reason, probably because we didn’t know any better (toys, etc.) and so far my husband is liking all of it (i am trying to get him to wrap his mind around an anal plug specifically for prostate massage plus i want him to really enjoy his orgasm..what wife wouldn’t?).  I told him tonight there are only 2 things that are a turn-off to me with a husband. One is selfishness in TMB which he NEVER has been and another is prudishness and he agreed.  🙂

    Have to say … your and his sexual awakening is incredibly awesome… the gun, the joy, the teasing, the toys,  the edging, the orgasming is sooo beautiful, fun and intense.   Don’t  stop as you two will grow even closer in trust, love and intimacy

    on December 28, 2019.
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    11 Answer(s)

      Good for you! and him!

      I know that sharing can be scary. My deepest and darkest fantasies were almost forced out of me. I see the good from it, and there was an intimacy created from it, but there was a reason I wasn’t freely sharing them.

      Praying your marriage bed continues to grow and you two enjoy this sexual high you are on for as long as possible!

      Under the stars Answered on December 27, 2019.
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        I’m very happy for your bravery. I’m always so scared about that kind of thing. But hearing stories like yours embolden me. This site is definitely a blessing!

        As I am also in a bit of an awakening, I sometimes wonder what our husbands think about all this. Not about being on the board, but about their reactions to the new sexier wife. I worry that mine thinks it might not last. Or what he really thinks of me, as sometimes it isn’t easy for him to be open. So it’s encouraging to hear your husband’s reaction.

        Thank you for sharing!

        On the floor Answered on December 28, 2019.

        Have to say … you stated it sooo well from a DH point of view.  We predict many hubs feel they are minimally taken care of, and many DW don’t ever wonder or think of their hubs needs

        on December 28, 2019.
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          Praise God on taking this big step!  This is a huge step in growth and letting your DH know your needs and desires because husbands are not mind readers.

          Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on December 28, 2019.
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            I am still praying that my dw will one day share some sort of sexual fantasy or reality with me and us fulfill it. I just hope that her desire grows instead of continuing to head in the other direction.

            Twin bed Answered on December 28, 2019.
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              Great reply … so happy others are willing to go out on a limb in regards to fantasies.   Usually it leads to a lot of fun, teasing and pleasure/ pleasing intimate aaa

              Queen bed Answered on December 28, 2019.
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                Good for you! That is awesome. I share fantasies with my wife, but IF she has any fantasies, she won’t share them. Then only fantasy she has every in 30 years even suggested is she would like to try sex with another woman, but she would never actually act on it.

                California King Answered on December 28, 2019.
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                  SoA,

                  You are brave where many are not and feel trapped in their own inability to simply communicate their own desires.  Your marriage is reaping the blessings!

                  On the floor Answered on December 28, 2019.

                  Thank you, well it is scary because you could be belittled or shot down, which i imagine a lot of husbands feel. But like i said, mine is a little bit weird (husbands words) but if kept in its place, all he cares about is my sexual excitement excites him. Maybe one day i’ll say what it is. (it’s not porn, girl on girl fantasy, another male, etc., probably pretty tame but could get out of control and backfire).

                  on December 28, 2019.
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                    Congrats and good for you! I’ve always been much more open about my sexual fantasies/unique tastes than my DW has been about hers, and I’ve regularly shared with her how much I would love to hear about any sexual fantasy or special desires she has. She has not actually shared any with me, so I’m left wondering if she has some she’s not willing to share or maybe she simply does not have anything. And if the latter, that’s okay, but if she had any, I would love to do whatever I could to make those things a reality as much as it’s possible. Blessings to you.

                    Queen bed Answered on December 30, 2019.
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                      So glad to hear this!

                      We have found that talking about our fantasies with each other is a great way to infuse the relationship with new life. The nervousness about sharing something “weird” is very similar to the heightened nerves one experiences during the early days of discovering whether the other person is interested or not. Braving the risk can recall those heady, exciting, early days of a relationship, with the butterflies and the sexual tension and the swoony moments. We agree that although we each have some fantasies that don’t appeal to the other, and each have some that we would never act upon (because it would be sinful), as long as we are loving and tender toward one another, talking about them together is a very intimate thing and almost guaranteed to be a sexual turn-on.

                      I have to confess to one of my failings:  you have said just enough about your fantasy to make me just itch to know what it is. Curiosity killed the cat, and it might yet be my fatal flaw!

                      Under the stars Answered on January 1, 2020.

                      Hi Duchess, i think i might have you told in a PM what it was, can’t remember, but i can PM you. I’ve only told one other person, a sister here and she was so gracious!

                      on January 1, 2020.

                      To be fair, I’m guessing most regulars here would be gracious. For example, if one remembers from a few months ago, they’ll know I used to be one that had fantasies of my DW with another man. Simultaneously disgusting, frightening, and arousing. 😕

                      Note that’s not a request to hear it (though I’m curious), more just a statement about the people here.

                      -Scott

                      on January 1, 2020.

                      Now that you say that, I think I remember you PMing me about that. So obviously it couldn’t have been that “weird” since it didn’t stick in my memory! 😉

                      on January 2, 2020.

                      Duchess Oh i didn’t expect you to remember, i don’t even remember what i said to you. Scott i don’t mind that fantasy but you’d never act on it, i have acted on mine … it involves watching something on television (not porn!) that hopefully he will get excited and i do and we turn that into sexual desire for one another, Duchess kind of the opposite of what i PM’d you about. It would be much better if i didn’t do this and it doesn’t involve lusting after another person. Just me and my weirdness.. (also it wasn’t  my husbands idea at all…)

                      on January 2, 2020.

                      SoA, I applaud you for sharing. I can’t imagine anything in that venue being that weird, even if it’s something like watching a toilet bowl flushing. Another person (won’t say who) shared on here in the past that they’re turned on by seeing animals mating (Discovery Channel!), and I could see things like a TV commercial of a car engine (think pistons in and out) being arousing.

                      Given that there are people out there getting turned on by golden showers or caprophagy, I’m sure you’re completely normal!

                      -Scott

                      on January 2, 2020.
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                        So curious how u got to this point in your marriage and sex life? Referring to your sexual awakening. My wife is getting the after 15 + years but it is a slow process and she often shuts down new ideas before giving them a try.

                        Twin bed Answered on January 1, 2020.
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