What has changed for you since giving birth or nursing babies? And how has that impacted your marriage bed?
Some recent posts have indicated some changes have taken place.
For us, PIV became pain free. It didn’t hinder our lovemaking before, but it always was kind of painful for me.
Also, before pregnancies, I didn’t mind DH sucking nipples. After, it turned into a yucky feeling.
One thing that DIDN’T happen. Women always warned me that my breasts would shrink. Mine didn’t, but I had always hoped they would!
I only had one baby and she was an emergency C-section, so nothing changed vaginally. As I mentioned in another post, I tried to breastfeed but it didn’t go well (stress and severe post-partum depression), so my poor daughter was so desperate to get some milk she cracked one of my nipples in half. I gave up and switched to formula at 6 weeks and she fattened up nicely. 🙂 The nipple still has a “fold” in the middle of it.
I’m pretty sure having a baby and breastfeeding killed any pleasure I might have gotten from breast play. DH is quite uninterested in them anyway, so it works out well.
My body, the looks of my skin, how I carry fat, the breasts, have changed. That has impacted my body image, which impacts how you (don’t) want to be seen by your husband. I did have somewhat inverted or flat nipples as OML mentioned elsewhere, and breastfeeding did “pull” them out.
Physically, I am guessing things have loosened up, but I honestly can’t remember what pre-kids was like. As I have aged, I have to be more cautious of stress-leakage. That can make me hold back during certain activities or positions.
I have not experienced pregnancy or nursing, but I know that there are times my nipples are pleasantly sensitive and I enjoy having them super stimulated and then there are times when it stings when he sucks on them and just plain irritates me. Fortunately these are not the permanent kinds of change that seems to come with childbirth, and perhaps God took that into consideration, being omniscient and all, when he chose not to heal our infertility. Maybe if I had given birth, my DH would have lost access to my breasts and nipples and that would have been very disappointing for him and damaging to our sex life. I would not have wanted that. (And I certainly would not have wanted any scenario that would have precluded our having the daughter we do!)
Returning to the heart of the question, though, I did notice that for some time prior to surgery the pleasure I got from nipple stimulation had decreased but since then it seems to have returned.
For us, not a lot has changed after my DW gave birth. Fortunately she had an easy birth so she recovered quickly. I was present and I thought it was amazing! It certainly did not turn me off. It was a very positive experience.
Apart from the tiredness and disturbed nights, things went back to normal in the bedroom and I can’t really say that we did anything different after having a baby. The only difference is that a few months after the birth my DW finally agreed to me watching her masturbating – until then she always felt too embarrassed to show me the whole action from start to finish. I guess she must have become even more relaxed with me, after I said to her – half jokingly – that now that I saw her pushing out a baby, I really have seen it all, so there was no need to be shy.
I would say there were more changes during the pregnancy; my DW became quite erotically charged (something we both took advantage of) and also, I don’t know if this happens to other women too but towards the last few months she also became extremely lubricated. This I found super erotic, so again, it was a very pleasant change. Also, for some reason during the last few months of pregnancy, when we used to do a lot of rear entry position because of her big belly she started enjoying a bit of gentle anal simulation, like rubbing and stroking in the area. She reckoned it was because the baby was pushing on some nerves. This only happened while she was pregnant though.