What to do with a tied-up wife?

    I have managed to get some tied-up attention in the past, but my wife thought it was a little weird to use restraints and wasn’t into it.  But my wife is warming up to sex more here recently, and I thought of reintroducing it.

    I know what I lwould like being tied up.  Back when I was younger and more sensitive, I’d like her to keep stroking after orgasm, and I would be tied up to keep me from preventing her from stopping.  I’d also like to do that if I was in the mood for some rough testical play.  If she wanted to use ice or experiment a little, I’d like to be tied up for that, and just let her play around.  Edging would be fun, trying to get me to beg to orgasm.  Maybe a bit of role play where she’s doing something a bit rough that I enjoy (squeezing or slapping testicles in a controlled manner) and asking, “Where is the microchip?” in a Russian accent might be fun.  My wife had her own foreign accent, so I don’t know if she could do Russian, so some scenario like that without the accent might work.

    But she’s not really into coming up with things to do.  She tolerated me being tied up and I’d put the straps on when she’d keep stroking past orgasm during a handjob.  I’m not sensitive for this anymore, usually.

    I’d like to talk her into trying getting tied up.  She read it somewhere and actually suggested it.  I wasn’t interested in the time.  I was getting constant regular sex which was knew to me.  I heard older people sometimes experimented with role play as their bodies get less senstitive and they need something else to make it interesting.  Maybe there is something to that.

    If I can talk her into getting tied up, what could I do with her?  I’ve never done much in the way of edging or orgasm dela with her.  She usually has an orgasm a couple of minutes into sex.  (We have a clit vib we combine with intercourse) and usually has several orgasms during our sexual playtime.

    If I could talk her into me tying her up, I think I’d lick her in ticklish places for a while, then try to bring her to the edge of orgasm, telling her I was the boss and she couldn’t orgasm without my permission, and soliciting a ‘yes sir.’  If she plays along, then I’d ask her to let me know 5 seconds before an orgasm and try to get her to beg.  Then I’d either untie her and let her tie me up while she is frustrated, saving orgasms for intercourse later, or else give her orgasms with just a little intense overstimulation and see how many orgasms I could squeeze out of her while she was tied up until her muscles were too tired to contract anymore and she is totally spent.  🙂

    But I would like ‘extreme’  stuff if i were tied up.  She might enjoy the extreme orgasm scenario above.  But if I wanted to go for something a little lighter and romantic– playing with her with feathers and what-not, could that be better?  I’d like to ask the wives on her what kinds of things you’ve enjoyed while tied up, and men what did your wives like?  Would full body foreplay, gentle carressing, etc. be better for a first tied-up experience?

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      I would suggest with the first time, that no matter what you do, you focus on her pleasure rather than what you want. Let her pleasure be your pleasure.
      If you get too wrapped up in your unrestrained freedom, like a boy in a candy shop, and then she starts feeling “unseen” (used) and overshadowed by your personal sexual urges, because you aren’t showing a level of self-control, which builds trust. You may never get a second chance.

      Under the stars Answered on July 15, 2020.
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        “lick her in ticklish places for a while”

        I think I would avoid actually making her ticklish, unless you know it won’t distract her from her arousal.

        I also think the boss/forbidden O scenario is more of a dominant/submissive dynamic, which is something all its own and you should find out (through discussion) whether she is comfortable with it separately from being tied up before you try mixing them.

        Every woman is different, of course, but for ME, if I were to be tied up the scenario that would appeal to me would be the idea of a man (either role-played as some character or my DH as himself) so enthralled with me that he simply must have me and so is determined to make me want him as much as he wants me, even if he has to tie me up to keep me in place long enough to bring me around. At the same time, he is utterly confident and secure in his ability to create this desire in me and so has no fear that I will be/remain angry for being tied up, even if I am at first theatrically resistant. (I guess playing the part of the spunky, independent firecracker who fights her attraction to the smoothly arrogant hero until she just can’t resist him anymore.) (There’s a reason this, and its cleaned up version, is a trope of romantic movies.)

        For what it’s worth, that’s how I would play it. If the two of you are both into exchanges that are less gently seductive and more edgy and conflicting, then try testing some physical limits. It would surprise me if a woman would want to START that way, though.

        Under the stars Answered on July 15, 2020.
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          To your question . . . ‘But if I wanted to go for something a little lighter and romantic– playing with her with feathers and what-not, could that be better?’

          Go easy. Stay away from tickling ( neither Mrs. Oldbear nor I appreciate tickling). Introduce the idea of pleasurable tying/binding. It can be romantic, sexy, and erotic. However, there is a fine line and timing when tying and binding. Always consider what provides heightened stimulus and pleasure for your wife (or husband for the wives). For example, Mrs. Oldbear can have her way with my boys as I head toward a PONR. Once I orgasm, any touch is painful.

          She loves it when I bind her with a satin robe sash mata-nawa style. This is a Japanese shabari technique of looping the sash around her hips with a vertical tie from the small of her back looped through her crotch to the hip loop above her pubic mons. During the early stages of foreplay, she’ll ‘ask’ (with her body language and breathing) me to set up the binding. This allows for well timed and desired pressure on her labia and clitoris. Again, this tie-up is done in sync with her ramped up desire and she gives me queues to increase her pleasure to the pleasure/pain threshold.

          It’s important to be sure both of you are ‘into it.’ Don’t pressure her – be light hearted, always deferential to give her latitude to say ‘yes, I’d like to try it’ or ‘no, not now’ or ‘let me think about it’ etc.

          Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on July 16, 2020.
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            As SC said, make it about her pleasure. I don’t think tickling, especially if she doesn’t enjoy it, should be a part. Take her to the edge? Yes. I’d suggest trying a blindfold first. If that goes well, you continue try a little more the next time OR continue on with a little more. If she’s very hesitant, I wouldn’t push too much. Try to make it a simple experience that she can enjoy exploring more and see how that is taken.

            Blindfold…massage…vibrator. Next time try the same but add the ties before the vibrator. Definitely, ties shouldn’t be added if she’s not turned on…and you may need to consider where she’s at in her cycle so that she’d be more open to a little more exploration/adventure in your lovemaking.

            Under the stars Answered on July 16, 2020.
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              I had an intimate talk with my wife this morning. We discussed some sexual desires toward the end of our conversation.  She associates being tied up with violence.  I don’t think we’ll be doing this any time soon.  I might experiment with her saying ‘yes sir’ and asking permission for orgasm or something like that if she is open to it.  That could still be fun, I think.

              California King Answered on July 16, 2020.
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                @MrMarried….since your wife associates tying up with violence, don’t underestimate the power of words. You can tell her to hold onto the headboard, or a scarf tied onto something, and to not let go. If she does let go then there’s a “consequence”. You can have the same basic effect, if not even stronger, by being in control with words/commands. “Close your eyes.” , “Open your eyes and look watch me.”, “Don’t move.” Etc, Etc

                Under the stars Answered on July 16, 2020.
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                  @MrMarried – Perhaps a strong, yet compassionate husband who is trying to be considerate of his wife should be leery of asking for too much, too soon….

                  https://qna.themarriagebed.com/question/marriage-and-sex-life-improvement/

                  On the floor Answered on July 16, 2020.
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