What was it like for you?
DH and I found out we’re expecting! I am about 7wks along and I’m feeling it. I’ve felt queasy and just not my normal self from week 6 until now. Not nauseous, but just not great. And when I have any kind of stomach issues, sex is off the table. It’s just not something I can “fight through” and DH is totally understanding of that. However, we both miss it! I have moments throughout the day when I feel well enough to try… but I’m so nervous! One, I’m nervous that having sex while I’m feeling better will upset my stomach and I’ll go back to feeling bad. Two, I’m nervous of him poking around in there while everything is changing and growing! And three, I’ve read that an orgasm can cause cramping and bleeding after sex and that’s just not something I want to deal with on top of already not feeling great 🙁
I know I must sound like a big baby right now, but this is our first pregnancy and so everything is uncharted territory! Just looking for advice and encouragement from those who have been there before.
Well, it’s been 32 years since I was pregnant, but I do remember having morning sickness the whole 9 months, right up until the day my daughter was born. (She was our first and only child.) I also remember us having a LOT of (regular, vigorous) sex right up until the bitter end; I used to joke that I was surprised she wasn’t born with little dents in her head LOL. I went 10 days past my due date and we were hoping a lot of sex would jar her loose. 🙂 I don’t know about the effects of orgasm on pregnancy because I never had orgasms during sex back in those days.
I think all you can do is give it a try once when you’re feeling OK, and see what happens. Ask your husband to be a little more gentle than usual if you’re worried about any kind of damage to your cervix. Cramping and bleeding are a possibility, not a certainty.
Congratulations on your pregnancy! Being a new mom can be such an emotional time with so many new sensations and feelings. Of course you’re concerned and unless you’re a high risk pregnancy you should not need to worry about sex harming your baby. God designed us for carrying babies and having sex simultaneously generally speaking.
I highly encourage you to push past the resistance you’re feeling now because it can become such a habit without you intending it to be that way. Been there, done that. 🙁
Try keeping something like saltine crackers handy. Empty tummies in pregnancy can lead to more nausea.
Congrats! Quick input from a husband’s perspective (my wife has been pregnant twice the last 4 years) – try to push past the negative connotation if possible. If not, then try other options, even if it’s just focused on your DH. HJ or MS are really important during pregnancy, and that’s something I wish a mentor would have told me or my wife. For me, it became difficult to ask my wife for things because I already knew she was not in the mood, so when she would initiate (even if just for my pleasure) it meant the world.
Congrats! My DW is currently pregnant with #4 so we get it. As Hubz said, I’d recommend you find a way to still be physical with your DH even it’s just a hand job every now and then. For us it’s hard because we want to respect and understand what you are going through, but at the same time we become cut off from one of our favorite activities. However, this will pass, for us the 2nd trimester was always fun, because her drive increased.
I had extreme morning sickness (hyperemesis gravidarum) with three out of four of my pregnancies and was throwing up violently 10 plus times a day. I had to be hospitalized for iv rehydration several times with my last child and was on so many medications to try to keep my from losing too much weight that when I wasn’t throwing up I was a zombie (the medications knocked me out). It didn’t start to abate until I was about 7 months along and I could keep food down pretty regularly and was only throwing up occasionally. It was really hard on our marriage because as much as I missed dh and being intimate with him for the first 5ish months I couldn’t even have him in bed with me, just him rolling over made me throw up nevermind any vigorous motions needed for manual sex/hand jobs/intercourse. We did have sex a few times in the third trimester but it was a very dry season for us. I have a fairly high sex drive and my love language is physical touch so it was just as difficult for me as it was for him but I really appreciated how he soldiered through and did his best to be cheerful during that season. Thankfully I had easy deliveries and quick recoveries so we were “back in the saddle” and making up for lost time pretty quickly after all the children were born.
And lest I scare you hyperemesis gravidarum is not common (its estimated to impact only 2% of pregnant women) for most women any nausea and vomiting stop after the first trimester.
Congrats! He cant disturb anything “poking around” don’t be afraid of that, baby is way up there protected from everything. Many people think sex while pregnant I amazing. I think we just went with business as usual, which is pretty often, but I didn’t notice a big difference in how it felt or anything.