Why are you here?

    How and why does this site appeal to you?   What “take home” value is there for you?   How has it helped you personally or in your marriage bed?  What types of discussions do you find the most appealing or helpful to you?  In your opinion, what discussion topics would you like to see more of?

    Personally, I originally found this site (old TMB) looking for ways to spice up our sex life;  things to do, toys to use, games to play etc.  We were blessed to find a LOT of great stuff.

    I am determined to be a good lover for my wife.  I’ve found keys here to unlock both her heart and body.  The candid posts from the ladies have been very helpful  to better understand sex from my wife’s side of the bed and in ways that I’m not wired to think.

    I’m amazed at the caring hearts of so many here.  The great advice, support and prayers that are offered in behalf on one another is heart warming and feeds my soul.

    Candidly, I’ve found that reading about sex here, as God intended it, stokes my fire to have more sex.  It accentuates that “itch” that only my wife can scratch in wholesome fulfilling ways and lessens the temptation to wander into pornography and the harm found there.

    Those are just a few benefits that I’ve found, what about you?  Why are you here?

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    13 Answer(s)

      As you noted, the honest posts by Christian wives helps me understand my own DW’s perspective a little better.  And hearing from men who are dealing or who have dealt with the same things I and DW are experiencing in our MB is also helpful.

      Hammock Answered on June 5, 2019.
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        Why I came here and keep on coming back.

        First of all, for me, I came here for learning. I am an eager learner and I was seeking more knowledge. So many insights from the main page and from the forum have been helpful. So many of the people who contribute here have great insights, knowledge and wisdom.  If I’m a student, ya’ll are teachers.

        Second, is confirming. I had figured out some things – about myself, about men and women, about marriage, about sex within marriage, etc. and I was wondering if they were accurate. Many things here have been confirmed for me. Still happening.

        Third, is affirming. The community here affirms those things that are good and honoring to God. There is support, encouragement and edification happening here that helps us all move toward the beauty and richness of what God has designed for TMB.

        Fourth, is sharing. The experiences, ideas, insights, etc. shared here add value to my life. The friendships, even in this format, enable us to build one another up and pray for each other.

        Under the stars Answered on June 5, 2019.
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          I initially came here when I was seeking to understand my God-given sexual desires and how that fit within a biblical definition of sexual intimacy in marriage. This site was eye-opening and helped me understand that my desires were based on emotional and spiritual connection with my Wifey as well as physical. God has used this site to affirm to me that my desires are not wrong, but I can react to them in a way that hurts my Wifey. Unfortunately Satan can also use the conversations here to speak lies and discourage me. I have to admit I am jealous of the husbands here who’s wives intentionally pursue them. I keep meaning to make an introduction post to give a little more backstory and context. Maybe I’ll find the time this weekend.

          California King Answered on June 5, 2019.
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            I am excited to be here. I am always looking for ways and how best to please my DW on the MB. This led me here.

            God bless all the wonderful people here especially the Christian Married Women who are always sharing their knowledge and experience here. God bless the men too.

            I married as a virgin , same with DW. Therefore I want to learn more from the experienced once so that I can always give DW an O.

            I also will share the little I know.

            Looking forward to more exciting times ahead.

            Queen bed Answered on June 6, 2019.
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              18 years of raising children and putting their needs first had really separated my wife and I. We are still in a healing stage, but we are healing. A big driver has been the huge amount of empathy I feel for my wife which may not have been possible without being able to read posts from women here who shared their perspectives here. In our marriage, communication about intimacy usually ended in fighting. This kept us from communicating. Misunderstandings continued. Now that I understand her better out communication is improving greatly. We can see God working in our lives and He has put the pieces together for our relationship to thrive: fervent prayer, pastoral counsel, and this site to name a few.

              California King Answered on June 6, 2019.
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                I have wished for most of my marriage that I had someone with whom to talk about these super personal things and share ideas! It’s not like I’m going to ask a church friend about the merits of shaving vs. waxing if we decide to try going smooth down there! I’ve discovered there are lots of things to learn and ways to improve on a sex life that was actually pretty good (if sparse!) to begin with. And I have tried to comfort and advise others when I feel like I have something useful to say on a question.  (Twenty-five years has to have given me SOME insight. I hope.) Also, it’s a fun place for Hubby and me to get a little flirty with each other, tease one another with things we’ve read, and  generally put each other in the way of thinking about sex, which is always a good thing.

                Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on June 6, 2019.
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                  I enjoy here because:

                    • Christ is exalted through prayers for each other, encouragement, and counsel.

                   

                    • Anonymity- This allows us to share openly without feeling unfairly judged because if we knew each other’s idenitity I think we would hold back.

                   

                    • Experiences – I don’t feel like I am alone as a Christian when I have sexual issues that I struggle with and other brothers and sisters share the same struggles.

                   

                    • Learning – I was shocked to learn that there are HD wives scattering the myth that men are the only one that wants sex plus on the flip side there are husgandsthat don’t like sex.

                   

                  On the floor Answered on June 6, 2019.
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                    These are good questions!  Why I am at this QNA is a completely different reason than why I was at the old TMB.

                    I originally found TMB to be a great place to help me stay accountable in the changes I was convicted to make.  I found encouragement, direction, insight, ideas, challenges, growth, and the opportunity to give out what I had received and minister to others through my own experience.  It helps keep sex and my own sexuality at the forefront of my mind.  The men gave me understanding of how my husband and other men think and feel.  The women often gave me better insight on how women often feel and think…some of it I found a commonality and other parts of it, I don’t, but it gave me understanding of the majority of women.  TMB was like fertile soil and the individuals were the water that made my roots run deep and get firmly planted

                    As to discussions that I have found most helpful, are the ones that go deeper and make me process my own thoughts, where there is actually a discussion (back and forth) that takes place, not just a one time question and answer.  Sadly, that is pretty much missing here and I personally find the QNA more superficial which means there is less connection here, for me…I realize this is about individuality and my personality and makeup.  It’s because of the old TMB that I felt an obligation to give this my best shot and do what I can to get the QNA off of the ground and be successful…. but as to the transplant, so far, I am not seeing my roots growing and being firmly planted, although it’s been wonderful to see “new” people participate here and I have been blessed to get to know, more personally, one new person on a deeper level so far.  Only God knows what the future holds for me and my relation to this QNA.

                    Under the stars Answered on June 6, 2019.
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                      I was like Angler, originally looking for ways to spice up our sex life, and found some great ideas on TMB. It was at a time in my life when I finally had breathing room from my kids, turned 40, and was looking for ways to improve myself as well as our marriage. I still remember some great advice I received from a member that is long gone. What keeps me coming back is the fact that this is the only Christian message board I’ve ever found helpful. I appreciate that there are people from all sorts of backgrounds and I enjoy discussions about faith & family just as much as the questions about sexuality.

                      I agree with SC above that the ‘discussion’ seems more stilted in the QNA format. I wish more people would contribute. It seems as though there are now hundreds of members, but the same handful of people comment regularly, much like the old boards.

                      Fell out of ... Answered on June 6, 2019.
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                        I’m here to gain insight, wisdom, and to grow in respect for the views of others.  I’m here to see what others with the same biblical world view (presumably or near it anyway) think along the same sex subjects that i enjoy, love and sometimes struggle with.  I’m here to gain what I cannot otherwise in the number of books that I read.  I’m here to be challenged in what was once one of the most difficult part of our relationship.

                        SlipTG

                        On the floor Answered on June 6, 2019.
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