Wife has lost a lot of weight; (over 70 lbs!) Body image Q:
Wife & I have been on weight-watchers; just doing the app on the phone, etc. She’s lost quite a lot. She is about the skinniest she’s ever been with me; and that’s over 40 years of being together thru college, out to separate jobs far away, couldn’t stay away, got back together, got married.
Aaaaand as is so common with women’s weight loss, a lot of it is from the boobs. She’s down a couple of cup sizes.
She hasn’t verbalized any more than just a little disappointment in her new, smaller boobs. But she sometimes bottles up these kinds of feelings.
Ladies of TMB: Any hints on what to say to my wife to reassure her that yes, she still attracts me and excites me, no matter what size & shape her breasts are? She is not her boobs or other body parts; I’m attracted to the whole package. Being intimate with her is what I want, not just playing with her various parts.
Is my question making sense?
I think you walk a fine line here. You could easily say that you find her so hot right now, but then you run the risk of having her feel badly if she ever regains the weight. On the other hand, she’s worked hard for this and needs to hear that it was worth it.
My advice is for you to tell her that you are so proud of her for the work she put into her health. Tell her that she’s beautiful no matter what, but you’re insanely attracted to her because she inspires you to maintain your own efforts. And then let her know how much she turns you on… by showing her. I would be specific about how much you love her breasts the next time you are making love. Just a casual comment, nothing more. If she hears that once, it’s going to help any body image issues.
Congratulations to both you and your wife, for all your hard work!
As one who has slowly worked at losing weight over the years, I can appreciate the effort. Its hard work!
My DH is a man of few words, so he doesn’t say much about my body. Somehow, though, I know how much he loves it.
See, I am big framed and heavy boned. DH is the opposite, small framed and very light bones. Never will we even weigh close to the same, and that has been a sore spot for me. Even though I weigh approximately 40 lbs more than I appear to weigh, DH doesn’t mind. Nor does he let me make negative remarks about my body.
Years ago, I had to convince him to let me try to lose a bit of weight. Now he tells me he doesn’t want me any smaller, or any bigger.
I don’t know that I would have wanted him to say a lot. It is a fine line, and I could see myself feeling like he was trying to convince both of us.
If your wife can feel your love, I don’t know that a lot needs to be said about it. I like what DoveGrey wrote. I am sure opportunities will arise here or there and you will have the right thing to say.
I’ve always told me wife that her outer beauty got my attention but her inner beauty kept it. Wife is the same way, her breasts shrink within the first few lbs. of loss. And she always wishes she could chose where she lost her weight ‘cause she’d pick a few other areas instead and leave the “twins” alone.
She wants reassurance about her beauty and your love being more about her, than her body & breasts. I would also assume that women with mastectomies would have some of the emotions, needs and reassurances so there is probably stuff on the internet you could find.