WIVES, tell us men about Fellatio?

    Seeking Change is getting all technical about OS on the ladies, 🙂 so I’m sitting here thinking, “what are the wives thinking?”

    My DW isn’t a big OS giver…she will, but only for a brief moment, and has admitted to she doesn’t want me to finish in her mouth cause she don’t like the texture. I’m cool with it…but I was wondering the same things SC was from the other side. What makes Fellatio something you want to do for your husband?

    What could us men do to make it more desirable for you to give

    What advice would you give to a wife like mine?

    On the floor Asked on January 27, 2020 in Oral Sex.

    I find some women actually enjoy giving oral to their husband. And that most men think wives enjoy it. But almost no women enjoy giving oral sex. We do it, if we do it at all to please our husband. The old joke was how is a BJ different between Christian women and non believers. Non Believers stop giving them after they are married, Christian women until the honeymoon is over. I do find it interesting that men mostly seem to enjoy giving their wives OS.

    on January 27, 2020.

    My wife was the Christian version! We did oral before married, often. She stopped soon after we got married.

    on January 28, 2020.
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    9 Answer(s)

      My advice is to just do it and willingly. I can understand finishing in the mouth because i don’t really like it, sometimes it makes me wretch although my husband doesn’t know that and never will and he doesn’t mind me gently spitting it out into a kleenex at all, he laughs and says it’s icky? And i “fib” and say NO! Why? because it pleases him, because it’s loving, because he’s a selfless lover and oddly enough, i imagine myself as a man and how GOOD it would feel to finish in my wife’s mouth.

      I would take swallowing off the table especially if the wife is at all hesitant. But if she’s open to OS and wondering about it, i would just explain to her how wonderful it feels and how blessed you would be by it. And she can’t do it wrong, just trying is a blessing to you..like i said, i don’t relish the finishing part at all but it is a mindset to me and it’s wonderful to give my husband that pleasure.

      Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on January 27, 2020.

      If I would have just waited for a few more minutes, I wouldn’t have been posting at the same time. 🙂

      on January 27, 2020.

      You are always more eloquent and thorough in your answers than me

      on January 27, 2020.

      You do very well, I am not sure what you are talking about, but your words are making me laugh.  I literally was feeling like a clod next to Oldbear 😀  when I read his answer to the QOTD…. “We’ve never been captivated by the appeal of sexual intimacy games.”  and I hear it in my head with a sophisticated British accent.  And I hear me in that slow, stammering voice of “uhhhh, we don’t play, uhhh, games.”  This is meant as a praise to OB, and I am at least getting some laughs out of this.

      on January 27, 2020.
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        I was trying to wait to answer until I saw other wives’ answers…. 😐

        What makes Fellatio something you want to do for your husband?

        When I want to do it, it’s because I know he desires it.  I know that it makes him feel wanted and desired in a way that other acts don’t.  I know that it’s about me “receiving” and “accepting” him as a man.  It can also bring out the “sex kitten” and empower me when it’s evident the impact and control I can have over him.


        What could us men do to make it more desirable for you to give?

        • be clean (freshly washed), the whole, not just the part
        • be okay with it not going to completion
        • don’t force the subject, but encourage it
        • don’t let it continue on for too long


        What advice would you give to a wife like mine?

        My advice to a wife would be highly dependent on where that wife actually is in her thinking and willingness.  There’s not enough detail about your wife’s circumstances, for me to know what advice to give here.

        Under the stars Answered on January 27, 2020.

        Huge what you said on men making it more desirable. We always have a shower immediately before sex and my H has never forced the subject and yes, ask for it in a way your wife would understand..her language IOW but do ask

        on January 27, 2020.
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          I give fellatio to bless my husband.  I know he enjoys it and it makes him feel loved.  I do find it a bit challenging.  I have to take breaks with my mouth and just use my hand, otherwise my mouth gets too sore.   I don’t mind if my husband comes in my mouth, but I really struggle with swallowing.  The few times I did, I just about threw up, and had to spend some time fighting that off before I could re-engage in sexual activity.  I much prefer to just discretely spit my husband’s semen into a cloth.

          Things to make it more desirable for your wife- no pressure, not to finish, not to finish in her mouth, and especially not to swallow.  If she has a strong gag reflex, understand her hand needs to be a much bigger part of this, and she won’t be able to take you very deep.  Definitely be clean!  Encourage her, express how good it feels, let her take breaks and look her in the eyes, connect with her, tell her you love her.   My actual favorite way to give fellatio is to 69 with a mirror on the side of us.  I love connecting how good my husband is making me feel with making him feel good at the same time.  I like to watch in the mirror and I usually come pretty quickly because it is very sexy.  That said, we usually transition to PIV at that point to finish my husband.

          On the floor Answered on January 27, 2020.
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            My answer is similar to the one I posted previously in “Wives, how was the first time husband’s O happened?” so i’m just going to pretty much repeat it here…

            I personally never had any hesitation about performing OS or with taking him to completion. Taste, texture etc. do not bother me. This is actually one of my favorite things to do and I receive a lot of pleasure from it as well, knowing that he is pleased. I would perform daily if he wanted. I enjoy the time I get to spend, doing what I want, and exploring both our boundaries. I do not require any pre-planning. I personally enjoy when it is very spontaneous and he catches me off guard. It’s a real turn on for me and have often tried to encourage him to initiate that more often. My DH has stated to me that he feels very honored that I do this for him.

            I think that this act can be taken in stages if needed. She could build up to what she feels comfortable with.  The suggestions @seekingchange gave were perfect.
            I do think it is important for us to test our sexual boundaries for each other. I personally am more adventurous than DH and there are many things I would like to explore. There should be some exploration at least and communication about it and if after that it just isn’t working for one partner then that can be addressed. Even a happy medium is better than nothing at all. IMO


            King bed Answered on January 27, 2020.
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              My first reason is because it’s his favorite thing in TMB. I’ve never minded it at all as long as he’s clean. He doesn’t sweat much, so smell hasn’t been an issue like I think it can be for other men (for instance, upon awakening in the morning). I find it empowering as my DH says he’d do anything I say when it’s happening. I’ve never understood the gross factor that some women have. The skin is super smooth compared to any other body part, which I think is pretty cool🤓

              On the floor Answered on January 27, 2020.
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                My biggest reason for first performing OS on DH was mostly because I viewed it as a challenge amd it was an item on my bucket list. DH had no desire for it because of a bad experience forced upon him as a teen, but he did agree to let me entertain myself, LOL. He didn’t expect to enjoy it, but surprised himself. But, I never would have done it, had I not discovered TMB.

                As for men making it better, I agree with all of what’s been said. Had DH pestered me through the years about it, it would have been a turn off for me.

                I like doing it and if we are doing to completion, he finishes in my mouth. I don’t have a gag reflex, but I still don’t enjoy swallowing. He doesn’t know that though, and I won’t tell him. We got this far, I would never make any of it into a negative thing.

                My most fun thing about it is surprising him by quickly starting while he is still fully dressed and reading in the living room. It startles him, LOL, but I get a great reaction from him, when I do it! Also, I viewed it as a great challenge, as he was fairly certain he wouldn’t like it. And I thrive on challenges!

                Under the stars Answered on January 27, 2020.
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                  What makes Fellatio something you want to do for your husband?

                  – Mostly because I know he really, really, really enjoys it, and I like to make him happy.
                  – Sometimes, after I have started, there is maybe an element of me enjoying the effect I am having on him. Like me enjoying the fact that I am able to bring him such intense pleasure.
                  – Part of me enjoys the ‘creative’ aspect of the act. Meaning, there are a lot of different things you can do with your lips, mouth and tongue, and I find it enjoyable to vary what I’m doing and see the effect it has on his level of enjoyment.
                  – Part of me likes the fact that I can engage in OS and not have to think about whether I’m going to be able to climax, or whether I’m taking too long to climax, or whether he might be getting bored because I’m taking so long, etc…. it’s just him receiving the pleasure, so in one sense the pressure is off me.

                  What could us men do to make it more desirable for you to give?

                  – Shower beforehand. It’s nicer when everything is clean, although I still do it even if he hasn’t just had a shower.
                  – Give encouraging feedback! Be vocal in expressing your pleasure because this is very encouraging to the wife, especially when this is not something she normally does. She might be wondering if she’s doing it ‘right’, so hearing you enjoying it will help her to know that she is doing well, and will give her confidence in her ability… which will make it more likely that she will want to do it again sometime.
                  – Don’t demand it, nor pressure her to do it (or any aspect of it, eg. swallowing). My husband never pressured or asked for it, but I can only imagine that feeling pressured could very easily turn a wife off to the idea.
                  – In terms of a husband trying to make a request for his wife to give OS, I don’t have any advice on how to approach this. My husband never asked. It was me who decided it was something I wanted to try (after more than a decade of marriage).
                  – Enjoy OS, but don’t make it the thing you always have to have.
                  – Reciprocate! (if she is willing to let you)

                  What advice would you give to a wife like mine?

                  If she’s open to the idea, but some aspects are off-putting, my advice to her would be…

                  – If she feels ill-equipped to perform adequately, I would suggest reading relevant ‘how-to’ articles on Christian marriage websites (eg. Hot Holy Humorous). Honestly, the more I read, the more confident I felt in making an attempt at giving OS.
                  – Understand that it is possible to go from being very put off by the idea of giving OS…..to wanting to give it and actually enjoying giving it (yep, that’s my story, and it didn’t happen overnight either).
                  – Take it in baby steps. Really. Don’t try to go from ‘never done it before’, straight to ‘do it to completion in your mouth and swallow’, all in one session. That’s great if it happens that way, but that doesn’t need to be the goal. Just baby steps, bit by bit, and she will get there. No need for her to make it a big deal and say, “Ok, I’m going to try to do some OS now……”, just make the baby steps a natural part of your foreplay for PIV (or whatever else you normally do).
                  – If she is averse to the feel/taste of semen, I don’t have any magic way to deal with this, but I will say I have gone from really disliking it, to now being quite ok with it (and now I always swallow). I just kept giving it a go, and eventually it was no longer off-putting.
                  – Be open to feedback from your husband, and/or ask him how you can make it even more enjoyable for him.

                  King bed Answered on January 27, 2020.
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                    I agree with pretty much everything MQ said. (I don’t recall seeing MQ here before; Welcome!!)

                    Why I like it:

                    (In addition to what has already been said) my DH raves about how skilled I am at it. He tells me I could be a “pro” as if I have some super special skill at it that makes it better than (theoretically!) any other woman. I don’t, it’s just because he loves me, but it sure makes me feel good that he tells me that. So it makes me want to show him again and again what an “expert” I am, and to bring him to new heights of appreciation for my “work”.

                    Similarly, SC brought up the term “sex kitten” and that is a HUGE part of why I like it. It DOES make me feel very powerful and sexy and sensual to do that for him and have him become putty in my hands (so to speak) because I bring him so much pleasure. I love the idea of having the power to make this strong, stoic, self-controlled manly man lose control.

                    So while it is about how much I love giving him pleasure, it is also very much about my own pleasure. I do become aroused while giving him OS, especially if I make a point to rock my hips and otherwise move my body while engaging with him.

                    How can he make it better:

                    To clarify the repeated advice of all of us: when you wash, make sure you get all the creases and crevices where odors can linger; even if the main parts are squeaky clean, a musty groin will be off-putting. A pleasant-scented body wash (as opposed to plain soap) might also be a good idea.

                    I’ve HEARD, though not experienced, that if a man eats a lot of pineapple it can sweeten the taste of his ejaculate. I just don’t focus on the taste if I can help it. I swallow when I can and spit discreetly when I can’t.  I didn’t at first. It took time working up to it, and wanting to do it just because I wanted to please (and shock!) my DH. (I actually used to think when people would talk about how desirable it was for a woman “to swallow” that it meant taking him far enough into her throat to swallow around him, so I learned to do that before he ever finished in my mouth. But don’t feel bad if your wife can’t; I have virtually no gag reflex.)

                    I agree this one is very important: enjoy it, but don’t make it the thing you always have to have. Because this is one area where we failed in our intentions before marriage and I had my mouth on him  quite a few times, I felt early in our marriage that the fact that he always wanted OS was a punishment on me for what I had done pre-marriage. I felt like he didn’t like “real” sex with me as much as he liked OS (in my mind at that point, a substitute) and so I resisted (or resented) giving him OS unless I knew we were having “real” sex unless it was a special occasion.

                    Also, enjoy it, but don’t get over-excited and start thrusting hard or grab and pin her head, unless you know (as in, she told you) she is okay with that.

                    Advice for reluctant wives:

                    Try focusing on the sensation of gliding your tongue over that silky skin, notice every little change in texture–blood vessels, creases where it stretched, the ridge of the little “hat”, etc and play with them, focusing on how it feels. Again, move your hips (create friction on your clit with your own body movements). Try licking other body parts on your way to the main event to tease him and ease you. (I love the way my DH’s ankle feels on my tongue, in that soft spot between his ball joint and achilles tendon. I also love the middle joint of his fingers and his earlobe. All these spots also drive his arousal higher. Pay attention to his reactions, especially if he is not particularly verbal or eloquent in his appreciation, but notice his change in breathing, squeezing his eyes shut, his desire to move his hips, making fists, etc. Look up at him while you have your mouth on him and make eye contact; you will see in his eyes how absolutely gone he is for you at that moment. Vary your technique; do switch between mouth and hand to give your mouth a break. Go from sucking to kissing it to relieve the pressure of having your jaw all the way open. And when you are just done, say so. Just give him an impish grin, crawl up his body and say, “All done!” or “That’s all you get!” Then proceed to kiss him senseless.

                    The more YOU enjoy it, the more HE will enjoy it; BUT ALSO, the  more HE enjoys it, the more YOU will enjoy it.

                    ETA:  If you are a wife who can manage giving it a try, that is. I understand there are some who just can’t, and I am not intending to heap condemnation on those. I seek to encourage those who are willing but hesitant.

                    Under the stars Answered on January 28, 2020.

                    Thanks Duchess!

                    on January 28, 2020.
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                      my wife said, “I’m not comfortable with it.” however, she did it twice in our marriage. Both times was wary of me finishing in her mouth. Fears were verbalized from that statement alone.

                      AND I’m not sure what “Pressuring DW” looks like as opposed to begging her or whimpering like a puppy to rub your tummy-kind of thing.

                      Hammock Answered on May 7, 2020.
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