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03/16/21 - Age to marry?

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SeekingChange
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03/16/21 - Age to marry?

Post by SeekingChange »

What do you feel is the best age to marry? Have you experienced any "rules" around this subject?

How old were you when you married? Any regrets marrying at that age?
God can change what people do, behavioral patterns that have been in play for decades. He can change what we do to cope, to find comfort, to survive conflict, to count. Rahab had done a same old thing for years... and then she did something new.


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SeekingChange
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Re: 03/16/21 - Age to marry?

Post by SeekingChange »

I don't feel there is a "best" age...no matter what age you marry, marriage will challenge you and make you "grow up" together.

My in-laws thought there was something magic about the age 21...so they had that "rule".

We were 19 and 20.... yeah, we broke the rule ;) No regrets from me with marrying that young.
God can change what people do, behavioral patterns that have been in play for decades. He can change what we do to cope, to find comfort, to survive conflict, to count. Rahab had done a same old thing for years... and then she did something new.
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Re: 03/16/21 - Age to marry?

Post by LuckyInLove »

I was 23, a year and a half after college graduation. It was the sweet spot for me because I had already started my career and moved a few times. I think life experience is more important than age because what we experience factors into our emotional maturity more than age.
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Re: 03/16/21 - Age to marry?

Post by hastentheday »

SeekingChange wrote: Tue Mar 16, 2021 6:38 am What do you feel is the best age to marry? Have you experienced any "rules" around this subject?

How old were you when you married? Any regrets marrying at that age?
I am a huge proponent of marrying young. There will never be a "perfect" time and so much less baggage, so much less sexual temptation the younger one is. I am pleased to see that in a certain part of the country this seems to be a favorable trend in my eyes and after seeing a lot of my daughter's wedding invites in the past three years, all of them are getting married quite young in their early 20's. Love this!

Due to identity concerns, I will not divulge the ages of DW or myself when we got married. But, I am five years plus older than DW. I knew this would not matter the older we got and I was right. I will never forget the advice of my late dear father who encouraged me NOT to wait so long once we were engaged knowing that God had led me to DW. I convinced DW to move the wedding date up based on that sage advice and I am forever grateful for that decision.
2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
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Re: 03/16/21 - Age to marry?

Post by newwifenewlife »

No rules for me. I think the maturity or lack there of is what is critical. I believe the longer one waits and experiences more of life, the potential for emotional EQ and maturity can help in the early stages of a marriage and adjustment.

I married the first time at 23 and let's just say I was a LOT older AND wiser the second time around. :D Of course, some would definitely say, including my wife, that while the wisdom is there, the maturity factor might be lacking on occasion. :lol:
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Re: 03/16/21 - Age to marry?

Post by Stack »

What do you feel is the best age to marry?
It depends. Generally I would say it is better to get married earlier (late teens early twenties) but have kids later (late twenties at earliest). It was nice to have someone that could help balance bad college decisions and we could get all the "excitement" out with each other without worry or issues. I know plenty of people who got married in college and it worked out to their favor. However, there are two important factors.

1. Gotta have birth control. Those that didn't ended up pregnant while in college which was a really bad time to be broke, in school, and dealing with the responsibility of a baby. Also, all of your friends are broke and in school which means little or no baby gifts. Wait till everyone is out of school and can afford decent baby shower gifts! That was one of the best decisions we made! Plus we got to travel a lot in our 20's. :lol:

2. Some people are just too filled with angst, angry, and immature. They need to make bad decisions on their own and learn from them. Marrying someone like that never helps. It just ruins many more peoples lives.
Have you experienced any "rules" around this subject?
Not really.
How old were you when you married?
Both very early twenties.
Any regrets marrying at that age?
Not really. Though I really wish we had some church mentors that would have helped us through newly wed issues. There's a lot of scar tissue that still remains many many many years later and is the source of continual issues. Part of me wishes I had been more mature but a lot of that maturity came simply because I was forced to mature via a relationship not by time. And we had no one to learn from or guide us.
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Re: 03/16/21 - Age to marry?

Post by Irnmyk »

My philosophy is 'marry young and raise your children along with yourselves or marry later - when you've grown up a bit - and deal with your kids from that station.'

I've seen both work well. I married late, late 20's, mid-20's for her. We both have never felt like that was a bad thing for us. Me, see my thread about ACoA, and her, having finished her schooling, once she knew that the Lord had delivered the answer to her prayers, was willing to set the date ASAP so we could get going. Proposal to wedding was about 4 months.

But, we've had friends along the years who were barely older than their kids (makes a difference later in life - I doubt that we'll see great grandchildren at this stage) and it worked out well, so I'd say no hard and fast rule, just choices.
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Re: 03/16/21 - Age to marry?

Post by one_woman_man »

I wouldn't say there is a best age. There are advantages to many ages. In my mind, anytime in your 20s is good - especially if having children is part of the plan.

We were both in our mid-20s when we married and felt it was a good age. No regrets :)
I wouldn't have wanted to wait any longer ;)
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Re: 03/16/21 - Age to marry?

Post by Tracker »

I have no rules and every rule has its exceptions. But marrying younger is like going to Vegas…

...make sure you are right, then go ahead, but remember Vegas is all I can say! T
Last edited by Tracker on Sun Apr 18, 2021 3:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: 03/16/21 - Age to marry?

Post by SeekingChange »

newwifenewlife wrote: Tue Mar 16, 2021 7:45 am I married the first time at 23 and let's just say I was a LOT older AND wiser the second time around.
Is the wisdom because of age, or because of your experience with marriage?
God can change what people do, behavioral patterns that have been in play for decades. He can change what we do to cope, to find comfort, to survive conflict, to count. Rahab had done a same old thing for years... and then she did something new.
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