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FIRST POST IN THREAD
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How old were you when you married? Any regrets marrying at that age?
END FIRST POST
However, as with all statistics, the average can hide individual details. Some of the best marriages I know are couples who married on the young side. In fact, I'd say most of the really good marriages I know are couples who were considered very young for their generation and location.
What I find critical is maturity, not age. All other things being the same the odds of someone 30 being mature are greater than the odds of someone 20 being mature, but there are significant variations for individuals. I know 16-year-olds who I felt were more mature than the average 25-year-old.
My son married at less than a month after his 23rd virthday. Even "worse" he'd known the young lady for all of four months when they said, "I do". Statistically, it was a train wreck. But all four parents and both of their pastors felt they were mature and were good for each other. Seven years and two wonderful grandsons later they are very happy.
BTW, if all or your parents think the marriage is a good idea, your odds are way, way better than if they don't.
It has worked out ok but if I could do it again I would prefer to have at least some experience. Not knowing what you are doing on your wedding night is a little daunting.
But then again having someone with experience knowing what they are doing is also a benefit I guess.
We still have a good relationship so I guess I wasn’t too young but I was very inexperienced. I’m sure most guys would like this.
I was lucky my DH was very gentle at least I think he was.
If it was my daughter I would recommend to wait.
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Two men would get together strike a deal - I have this son, and you have this daughter, and for a nice dowry, we can get them together. Often, when the veil was lifted, the young man got to see who he was marrying (think of what Jacob must have thought when Leah was under that veil - and look what happened).
That's when God said (and I paraphrase) "It's a good thing; make this work!!!!".
So, we see a lot of Biblical marriages that started out that way, and we know the rest of the story.
Fast forward to today, we have much more choice and input into the process, but based on the divorce rate, I'm not sure that we have made much progress.
I just thought that I would throw a little perspective on all this on a FWIW basis.
This is very well said, and what I was thinking as I read through the answers and though about what I would say. I was 21 and DH was 23. We had been engaged for a year and dating for five (including the engaged year.) We were high school sweethearts.
The only restrictions we had were that my parents would not approve of my marriage while I was in college, and that may have subconsciously had something to do with my not finishing. (I can confidently say it was NOT the whole reason.)
There are probably some spiritual ways that I would wish for my daughter to be prepared before marriage that we were not, (we thought we were) but we were a bit of a "golden couple" in that not just our families approved, but both of our whole churches approved and celebrated our union. As I recall, the only things our parents really stressed to us were that we have steady income, know where we would live and that our income would cover our expenses, and that we put off having babies right away so we had a chance to establish ourselves as a couple before we tried to be parents. Neither of us ever lived on our own or had other relationships (something I've seen others advise) and while there might have been things we could have learned from those experiences, I think we have been okay without them.
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I think maturity level is a better indicator of the best time to marry.
I was 23 when we married. I don't have any regrets marrying at that age.