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That said, as often as she wants. Sex is a use it or lose it thing, so masturbation when sex is not possible is good for a couple's sex life.
I sincerely appreciate your thoughtful answer, OWM. More to think about.
The maturity of both science and my Christian faith taught me otherwise.
Now, I am lead to understand; my sexual energy is the rightful property of my wife just as her sexuality is my property. For me to expend my energy alone is to rob her of her right.
If she is unavailable for my pleasure, as has been the case during her many hospitalizations during the past decade, then sexual pleasure is not for me. With her; complete pleasure. Without her; no pleasure. PERIOD
She says her view on the matter is the same as mine.
Someone brought up the issue of her being in her period. Does this make masturbation okay? For us, her period changes nothing. In fact, continuing with acts of affection and pleasure help her through those moments of cramps and self-doubt and uncontrollable emotional swings.
We are saddened by hearing of people who say "I love you forever; except for one week out of every four." That simply is not love.
THIS!Thomas wrote: ↑Fri Jun 11, 2021 10:37 am As long as masturbation does not replace or diminish mutual lovemaking, I think that denying your spouse the freedom of self-pleasure or requring to watch or be watched, is an ominous sign of a possessive and controlling marriage relationship. Just my opinion.
If DH is masturbating, I would not be pleased. Not because I am against masturbation, but because I desire more sex than he is willing or able to give.
Much of his problem is due to physical and psychological hurdles, so I have compassion and we’re working through things, but it also means there is guilt and performance anxiety on his end.
He is not necessarily in agreement with masturbation but has admitted that if I need a release, I should seek it. At this point he has no desire to be involved or know about it, but I hope we can overcome that. I don’t desire for it to be a replacement for intimacy, but something to relieve the physical aching and throbbing.
Lack of (private) time keeps me from masturbating more, but if has helped immensely to take the ‘edge’ off our infrequent LM.
ETA: Realized I didn’t fully grasp the question. If we couldn’t make love, I suppose I’d be OK with DH masturbating. Like others have said, the amount I suppose would depend on the situation.