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Anyone have any PE solutions that work?

Erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, delay...
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PaulB
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Re: Anyone have any PE solutions that work?

Post by PaulB »

Claymore wrote: Wed Mar 03, 2021 12:54 pm Let's recap the advice I've gotten so far:
  1. Practice
  2. Use a numbing agent
  3. Focus on something else
  4. Use the vibrator
Have I missed anything?
If you are eating with real PE, which seems to be the case based on what you have said then 1 & 3 won't do anything for you.

A numbing agent will help you last longer, and a vibe will make it far more likely she will climax. And if you get those things going she might become open to sex more often.
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David
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Re: Anyone have any PE solutions that work?

Post by David »

It might be worth seeing your doctor as premature ejaculation can be associated with prostate or thyroid problems.

There is apparently some research to suggest that viagra and other PDE 5 inhibitors might help with premature ejaculation.
It has also been suggested that condoms (especially thick ones) can help because they reduce sensation. Durex sell one advertised as mutual climax - on the inside it's treated with a numbing agent, and the outside is textured to stimulate the wife. I expect other brands are also available.
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Re: Anyone have any PE solutions that work?

Post by Lightbulb »

First the practical - what I've noticed that actually works for me that I don't think has been mentioned:

1) having her hold my penis in her hand before entry. I understand the way this works is based on the "overwhelming" sensation on entry. The penis being surrounded by smooth, warm flesh can be overwhelming, and this seems to work by making it slightly less overwhelming. This method doesn't necessarily involve her rubbing or stimulating like you would expect in a hand job, just holding it with maximum contact to her flesh. This has had a surprisingly favorable impact, particularly after a prolonged absence from PIV. Ten or fifteen seconds seems to work.

2) half a serving of alcohol. I don't want anyone to stumble of course, so if alcohol is something you believe is appropriate to avoid, by all means, ignore. Lots of alcohol doesn't help promote a good sexual experience, but just a small servicing seems to help take the edge off. Again, this counters the overwhelming nature of feeling the warm smooth flesh all around the penis. A good chunk of arousal is in the mind anyway, and just slightly dulling it seems to have a prolonging effect.

3) not caring how long its going to last - PE and all kinds of other sexual problems get in your head, and the more you think about not ejaculating too quickly, the more likely it is to happen. Same thing with ED. I've noticed when I've had that feeling before entry where you know you are aroused, you know its been a while since you've ejaculated, and you can already feel your bodies desire to ejaculate, if I just accept that this is one of those times when it isn't going to last long, it sometimes prolongs it.

4) see if you can identify where on your penis the stimulation is strongest and most orgasm inducing. Put extra lubrication there. For me, its on the underside at the point where the arc is the greatest. For some reason, I guess based on both of our shapes, I've noticed the stimulation to that part of my penis while I'm inserting has pushed me over the edge. By making sure that area is extra lubricated, it reduces the 'resistance' stimulation during insertion. I also will pause during insertion just before that area comes into contact.

As far as the definitions of PE, I think the 1 minute definition is probably the best. The original idea of M & J relating it to whether the woman has orgasmed is preposterous. As with all research, each study is going to have slightly different definitions, but the important thing to consider is that the different definitions describe vastly different issues. Almost always ejaculating before, during, or shortly after entry is a much different problem than ejaculating in three minutes, and is going to have much different solutions. I would argue that ejaculating in three minutes isn't necessarily a disfunction, but rather just an inconvenience. I seem to remember one of the major studies concluding that most sex is less than three minutes from penetration to ejaculation. Most would love to last much longer, but that seems to be the kind of thing you can 'fix' with a lot of those other techniques mentioned - edging, start and stop, distraction, etc.

Glad the research caught up with reality - I know I am hard wired to not need a ton of stimulation to ejaculate. I wish my wife was more willing to work on this with me. She assures me it isn't a problem, she doesn't mind. Which ignores the fact that I do mind.
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Re: Anyone have any PE solutions that work?

Post by garyb »

I realize this topic has a ton of comments and advice, but I just came across another article today that helped explain something the author calls the "orgasm threshold".
Think of your orgasm threshold as a number, from 1-100. There’s lots of variation in people’s orgasm thresholds.

Let’s say the average man has an orgasm threshold of around 40. But there are some guys—not many, but some—who clock in around 80.

At the other end of the bell curve, some men have natural orgasm thresholds as low as 30. The minute a man like this gets hard, he’ll be vulnerable to ejaculating too quickly. In a nutshell, that’s the most common cause of “lifelong premature ejaculation. Nothing more than natural statistical variation. Like women who can’t climax without a vibrator, these men just happen to be on the way far-end of their gender-specific bell curve.
If you want to read the article, here are the link:

Part 1 - Toward a Better Definition of Premature Ejaculation
Part 2 - What Causes Premature Ejaculation?
Part 3 - ight Ways for Men with Premature Ejaculation to Last Longer in Bed
--GaryB
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PaulB
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Re: Anyone have any PE solutions that work?

Post by PaulB »

garyb wrote: Tue Mar 30, 2021 12:02 pm I realize this topic has a ton of comments and advice, but I just came across another article today that helped explain something the author calls the "orgasm threshold".
Took a look at the article - very well done!

And yeah, the current definition is more of a target than a hard number. It's gotten a lot better, but still a way to go.
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Re: Anyone have any PE solutions that work?

Post by luvabug99 »

I read the 8 tips article. Most of it resonated with my experiences and feelings on the options, and they covered all of them pretty well. I didn’t like that the ultimate conclusion was meds+therapy, but then again, that’s the author’s line of business. I also disagreed with their assessment of topical delay products. The recently developed line of lidocaine sprays (Promescent, Dynamo Delay, etc.) really don’t significantly reduce the pleasure of sex when you use them as directed and find your optimal level of application. I have had some of the most intense orgasms of my life since I started using the sprays—they allow me to enjoy some build up to climax rather, making it better than I’ve ever known in my PE days. It’s also removed a bunch of the pressure from us both to have to be cautious during foreplay so I don’t miss the main event. Now DW can play with me all she wants before PIV and I can enjoy control over when I want to finish.


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Re: Anyone have any PE solutions that work?

Post by Link+Zelda »

luvabug99 wrote: Tue Feb 23, 2021 7:33 pm However, I found that there are some other alternatives out there that don’t transfer to DW (which was my big concern). I tried Dynamo Delay spray a few months ago and plan to continue with that once I use up the Promescent. For me, it’s the same effectiveness at about a quarter of the cost. I order off Amazon. Bonus: the Dynamo spray doesn’t have an odor.
Just a heads up that Married Dance now sells Dynamo as well! I saw it on their monthly newsletter, so I thought I'd pass it along here. :D
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Re: Anyone have any PE solutions that work?

Post by luvabug99 »

Link+Zelda wrote: Just a heads up that Married Dance now sells Dynamo as well! I saw it on their monthly newsletter, so I thought I'd pass it along here. :D
That’s good to hear! I had a hard time getting it on Amazon last week.


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Re: Anyone have any PE solutions that work?

Post by MrMarried »

Claymore wrote: Mon Feb 22, 2021 1:02 pm I am at my wit's end with PE. Does anyone have any suggestions that actually work?

Don't say prayer. It doesn't help. Don't ask me how I know.

Don't say edging. I can masturbate for 15 minutes straight without ejaculating, but I lose all control the minute I enter my wife because they are not the same thing at all.

Don't say start-stop technique. It just increases DW's resentment to continually interrupt the flow of lovemaking. She can't get into a groove.

Don't say masturbating before starting. Do it once, it makes no difference because it's not the same as PIV. Do it twice, I can't get aroused at all. Also, masturbation is degrading and I hate it.

Don't say the squeeze. If you mean squeezing with my hand, that's physically impossible. If you mean squeezing my PC muscle, it doesn't work.

What have you got, TMB?
I haven't read the whole thread.

You could put a penis ring between the testicles and your body to simulate a 'scrotal pull' effect. This might help keep the testicles from pulling up which they tend to do before ejaculation. Be careful not to squish them. There are special 'extenders' for this. One or two thick stretchy penis rings might do the job.

Also, when you do kegels, do a 'push-out' kegel to lower the testicles. Practice exercising the muscles that pull up the testicles outside of a sexual situation, but also practice relaxing them, and learn to 'push out' to decrease the upward climb during sexual activity. Kind of like bearing down to go to the bathroom, but the muscles are not that far back.
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Re: Anyone have any PE solutions that work?

Post by Claymore »

Welp.

Tried the cream with a condom and vibrator. By the time I got done putting on all that stuff, I had lost firmness. DW was unhappy. Is it time for a separate thread about the futility of sex?
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