I have read and heard about many instances where a husband cheats on his wife while she is pregnant or during the postpartum period. Or perhaps the husband didn't cross the line into an actual affair, but was very tempted to do so when his wife was pregnant/postpartum.
A recent comment on TMB brought this to my mind again. A husband wrote:
"I struggled with lust more during my wife’s postpartum weeks than any other time in our relationship".
As a woman who has gone through pregnancy and the postpartum period multiple times, comments such as these weigh heavily on my mind.
It's hard to not get the message that a pregnant/postpartum woman is undesirable, or is unable to meet her husband's sexual needs, and therefore he is tempted to look elsewhere.
Is it the physical that is the problem? Her pregnant body doesn't turn him on? She can't perform the wild sex he desires because of the limitations of a growing belly or extreme exhaustion (or any of the other pains/discomforts of pregnancy)? Her postpartum body is not what it used to be, and it just doesn't do it for him? I read one Christian marriage blogger freely share that he was jealous of husbands whose wives had cesarean sections - because his wife's vagina was not as tight after giving birth vaginally. This just makes me feel like we women are just used up unwanted goods. We do what God designed us to do - bear children - and this renders us as 'less than'.
Is it that the wife isn't showing desire for her husband sexually? Is she not taking enough time to be sexual in amongst feeding the baby around the clock? Is the husband expecting her to be sexually adventurous and enthusiastic, while enduring postpartum bleeding and exhaustion?
I don't know what the answers are. Can any of the husbands (or wives) offer some insight? What makes the pregnancy/postpartum period difficult for husbands? What (if anything) can we wives do better during that time?
Please help me to understand - are pregnant/postpartum women really just damaged goods that are disappointing sexually? Is the pregnancy/postpartum period so incredibly difficult for husbands that they feel drawn to seek satisfaction outside of the marriage?
Thanks for reading this far. I know there is a wealth of wisdom in this forum, and I would really appreciate some of that wisdom if people are willing to share their thoughts. Thank you.