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What do you think about your Partner?

What about headship and submission? Unsaved spouse? Other marriage roles.
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Beccaloo
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Re: What do you think about your Partner?

Post by Beccaloo »

SeekingChange wrote: Wed Apr 14, 2021 9:18 am A perspective change and taking thoughts captive to make them obedient to Christ will be imperative for enjoyment of life and marriage and getting all out of it you can.
::two Well said.
Lorelei
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Re: What do you think about your Partner?

Post by Lorelei »

Beccaloo wrote: Wed Apr 14, 2021 11:00 am
SeekingChange wrote: Wed Apr 14, 2021 9:18 am A perspective change and taking thoughts captive to make them obedient to Christ will be imperative for enjoyment of life and marriage and getting all out of it you can.
::two Well said.
Agreed.
Lorelei
CTim
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Re: What do you think about your Partner?

Post by CTim »

Beccaloo wrote: Tue Apr 13, 2021 3:53 pm
Lorelei wrote: Tue Apr 13, 2021 2:18 pm there’s a secret corner of my heart that sometimes wonders if I’m ever widowed and remarried, if my second marriage would be any easier. It makes me sad to even think that though.
I could have written something very similar. It makes me sad when I catch myself putting together a list of things I would change when looking for a new mate. I have to remind myself how blessed I really am.
These are thoughts that we might need to control and redirect as has been mentioned. However, I can't imagine that it is all that unusual for anyone who has been married for a significant amount of time. Especially when considering what we might do upon the death of a spouse. We've probably all got a little list of different qualities we might look for in that situation.
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ALL_IN
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Re: What do you think about your Partner?

Post by ALL_IN »

I don't regret marrying my wife or even recommitting to her after an adulterous relationship. But I do have to say that even after that ended 6 years ago...many days go by that I'm afraid she was "the one".
That's VERY hard to type, and even harder to think since it was nothing but sin. But it's the truth I suppose.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
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benny
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Re: What do you think about your Partner?

Post by benny »

She's my best friend and rock I lean on. She's not perfect but neither am I. She tempers me and reigns me in when I want to go hog wild, when I'm down she lifts me up and loves me unconditionally. I feel God put her in my life and do not question his plan. Sexually speaking, she still takes my breath away after 30+ years. So I'm convinced she's "the one".

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olafthewise
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Re: What do you think about your Partner?

Post by olafthewise »

I've read too many books, listened to too many seminars and radio sermons to know that women expect to change their husband and men hope the wife never changes.
As far as DW and I; it has been determined that I was one of the worst choices she could have made. I've been nothing but an embarrassment and a financial nightmare for her to the point that I am not mentioned much when she is with friends or relatives. I am such an embarrassment that she lives to correct and teach me about life and how to treat others. Don't get me wrong, we get along most of the time and she desperately needs a fix-it guy and a security guard for her and the kids.
Most women look forward to a successful husband who can hold his own responsibilities and keep a job or business while being a focused and empathetic dad. The day we got married I was unemployed. She had a job. My shipyard job was on and off due to the ships that were docked or not. My dream job out of state took us a thousand miles from our parents. The job eventually failed. I took a cheap job that ruined us. Then another job and the pay was barely enough. Then after 15 years was fired and remained unemployed 8 years! Went on welfare. Needless to say, she lost all confidence in me and became the worse gatekeeper of our 30+ year marriage! It was then and still is my responsibility to keep a job and make money. She just wanted to nest in her home securely and care for the kids. She eventually went back to work in the child welfare sector. Boy was she mad now! Sex was every 2 to 3 weeks and often she was not really there...
So I am sure no woman wants a failure husband. So she really lost out! Its amazing we are still together. I've been very extremely depressed over this and tried to remedy it with many opportunities that were quickly snatched away from me, despite groups of people praying for me over the years. Needless to say my faith in Christ was shaken and has never recovered. This late in life she is stuck with me.
Ron
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Re: What do you think about your Partner?

Post by Ron »

Having known lots of couples over the years, I think there are only a lucky few that find that perfect mate. I know a few couples that probably have their perfect spouse for them and each other. I think the rest of us find someone that is "ok", but not perfect.

For me, my wife and I are a lot of like in many ways. But we have differences that has made things more difficult than it could have been. I wish my wife was a little more adventurous sometimes and wish she was way more sexual. Sex has been an issue with us from the very beginning. and still is 30 years later.
tentsofpurple
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Re: What do you think about your Partner?

Post by tentsofpurple »

I don't think there is one specific "one" out there for everyone. I think we are called to use wisdom and seek advise and be thoughtful about who we marry, but the one you marry becomes "the one" and dwelling on what if's and entertaining thoughts about how someone else might be better/different/easier is not fruitful. God gives us principles that we should use to live our lives according to but gives us freedom to chose. Otherwise we would forever be stuck in "should I marry x person, have y number of kids, take z job" waiting for a "yes or no" from God.

Obviously we shouldn't marry a non believer or take a job that is unethical or illegal but we have freedom within our lives. We are to order our lives around the lifework of spreading the Gospel but this looks different for everyone and is carried out in a myriad of different ways. I also believe God can and does use differences in personalities, and styles, sex drives, preferences etc. (both in our spouses and others) to work on us and refine things that need transformation, not that our circumstances necessarily always or ever change but that we do (our thoughts, emotions, responses etc. increasingly reflecting those of Jesus)


That being said I am so grateful for the man my husband is and has become and I love being married to him. I'm not saying he's perfect or that we don't clash (we are often polar opposites with many of our preferences and styles and ways of doing things) but that he is a good husband to me. When we got married I was very young, I loved dh but had not put much thought into what type of person he was I knew he was kind, loyal, hardworking, and a believer but I didn't really think about things like leadership style, personality, hobbies etc. God has been faithful to grow each of us individually and together but I think much of that stems from our love for and desire to follow Christ rather than us being a "perfect match" or "the one."
LovingHimAlways
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Re: What do you think about your Partner?

Post by LovingHimAlways »

workerbee wrote: Mon Apr 12, 2021 3:19 pm
LoL!!!!!!!!!

My DH is the only man I have ever truly loved, admired, respected and adored.

Couldn't be anyone but him.
This is true for me also! I know without any doubt that my dh is the one. How do I know this? Because after 35 yrs together (32 married) I still get little flutters in my stomach every day when I look at or think about him. Are things perfect? No...We have had our ups and downs like everyone but, even with all of that I can't imagine doing this life with anyone else!
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