Special Groups

We have sections you must join to use. You can see the full list here. Most you can join with a click. The medical and pastoral groups require approval.
Note, some groups were not accepting new members properly. That is fixed.

At what age is it no longer appropriate for siblings to bathe/sleep together?

Forum rules
Post in this section can be read by guests, but ARE NOT seen by search engines.
MrMarried
King bed
King bed
Posts: 441
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2021 9:00 am

Re: At what age is it no longer appropriate for siblings to bathe/sleep together?

Post by MrMarried »

Five and seven?  I think you should stop the bathing together right away.  They may not know about sex, so the rules about not being in the same room at night won't make sense to them intuitively, and if someone suggests that as a reason when they are older, they may think of it as gross and strange.  You could tell your son if he has a problem, to see his parents at night.  But you don't want your child in your bed all the time either.  But it would be better for him to go to his parent's bedroom than his sister's, IMO.
Brynna
Fell out of ...
Fell out of ...
Posts: 1289
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2021 9:00 am

Re: At what age is it no longer appropriate for siblings to bathe/sleep together?

Post by Brynna »

OWM and Mr Married said it well. We have several children and some of them would have been much too hands on, by that age. They stopped bathing together a lot younger than that.

As for sleeping, ours had their own rooms once they quit sleeping in our room. So no experience there. Except I was always cautious about creating sleeping habits that would need to be broken latet on.
mgc73
Single
Single
Posts: 14
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2021 9:00 am

Re: At what age is it no longer appropriate for siblings to bathe/sleep together?

Post by mgc73 »

As NeilE says, your daughter will probably make it apparent when she feels uncomfortable about bathing together.  Sleepovers should not be a concern for you IMO.  I have two girls (12 and 10) and a boy (8) and they regularly have sleepovers still in the school holidays.  I've tried to combat the hangups prevalent in some aspects of Western culture that equates nudity with sex  as I raise them too, but then I am from the UK lol
User avatar
Jpops
King bed
King bed
Posts: 309
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2021 9:00 am

Re: At what age is it no longer appropriate for siblings to bathe/sleep together?

Post by Jpops »

Thanks for everyone's responses! Instead of commenting on each answer individually, I'll add more info here.

First, they do really get along quite well and enjoy being together. We've handled the sleepover thing so far by allowing them to have planned sleepovers and reiterating to our son that he needs to come to us if he needs something instead of sneaking out of his room. I'm trying to be more emotionally available for them; it's difficult for me because it wasn't modeled well in my FOO. I can see the detriment it's had on me and my relationships and I want to break that generational cycle!

Second, we're very intentional about positive body image. Wifey suffers from poor self-image from a variety of sources, a big one being the negative comments she heard from the women in her family about their own bodies. We've already had some discussions about privacy and private areas of the body always with the explanation that it's not wrong or dirty, just private. I think the co-bathing thing is probably nearing its end, Wifey and I need to have a discussion about it so we're on the same page when it comes up.

Thanks again!
User avatar
Duchess
Under the stars
Under the stars
Posts: 2279
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2021 9:00 am

Re: At what age is it no longer appropriate for siblings to bathe/sleep together?

Post by Duchess »

I think one benefit of having mixed gender siblings is the inherent knowledge of how the other half lives, so to speak. I had younger brothers, so I knew all about peeing standing up, and had an idea of what boy parts looked like. I didn't have to obsess with wondering because I already knew, in the most matter-of-fact way possible. Since our daughter is an only child, I was grateful to discover the neighbor boys she used to play with sometimes peed outside if they were too involved in playing to go in. They filled in for her non-existent brothers in giving her that innocent, matter-of-fact knowledge.

I don't know that this addresses your question much, other than to say that I wouldn't worry about any damage having been done to this point. If the genders were reversed I might worry sooner than with an older sister and a younger brother, although even then I think you have a little time. Believe me, at least in my experience, no matter how aware of her development a girl is, she is unlikely to have any interest in exploring that side of herself with a little brother. With an older boy and younger sister, I would defer to the opinion of a man who has memory of his own or his friends' experiences with that situation. FWIW, my daughter and the neighbors never crossed over from free-range playmates to any sort of mating play.  (We also live in the country, surrounded by cows, and they spent a lot of their time exploring fields and a creek and examining all sorts of wildlife, so probably saw each other as just another interesting specimen.)
Post Reply

Return to “Grade School aged children”