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- Posts: 4841
- Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2020 8:45 pm
- Location: All I know is I'm not home yet
In reply to your last paragraph.... no, I don't think they are taking it serious enough. I don't think they have thought beyond the actual incident, to all the ripple effects that could come from it, or the potential danger it could signify.
About 4 years ago, I had another eye opening experience. Our 15 yo at the time, was having a gal in her early-/mid- 20's, in our church, come on to him, and making comments about going out, kissing, and was flirting with him, Sunday after Sunday. It made him uncomfortable. Maybe most guys find that flattering. And as parents who are church leaders, we had to try to figure out how to deal with that. Our first instinct was just to tell our son how to deal with it, what to say and how to remove himself from the situation. But then I had to ask my husband.... if this was a 15yo girl who was not our kid, and a 23-25yo male was treating her the same exact way that this female was treating our son, would you and the church leadership be okay with that? Would we just tell the girl how to "handle the situation" and do or say nothing to the man? So, why is that okay for our son, because the sexes are reversed? That reasoning opened my husband's eyes to see the severity of what was taking place, and that the church leadership needed to take action. Since then, I have had a fire in me around situations like this.
My whole parenthood has been about preparing my kids on how to handle the world. BUT I think I am getting a little tired of just "handling things" by being reactionary, and that we actually need to start standing up and pushing back against the wrong, in a God-honoring way, of course.
Honestly, I think the best thing you could do would be to encourage your son to speak up, and let him know that both you and his father have his back. If he speaks up and it is resolved, then nothing else need be done. If he speaks up and the harassment continues, or worse, intensifies, your son should speak to the employer. I suspect that if the employer got involved, the behavior would probably come to a screeching halt. If that failed. then there is the option of threatening legal action, or just seeking employment elsewhere, or a combination of the two.
I applaud your son for talking to you about this, you must have good communication lines established. I would find out if it really bothers him enough for you to get involved. It would be a good time to talk about "choosing his battles." The sad truth is most likely he would be ostracized and ridiculed for making a stink about this and his employment with the company could become unbearable. Is it right that this stuff goes on? No. Is it worth taking it to the supervisor? I would let your son decide. We would like to protect and shelter our kids, but at some point we have to trust we have instilled good values which will protect them inwardly from all the garbage they encounter outwardly.
You have raised your son well. Trust that he will hold fast to his values. But he's probably going to have to get a little "mouthy" to succeed in an auto shop.