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Men, can you tell if other men are attractive?

Other non-sexual marriage issues.
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MrMarried
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Men, can you tell if other men are attractive?

Post by MrMarried »

I read a thread on a forum elsewhere by a poster who said he could hardly tell if another man was attractive. That's the way I am. Sometimes, I can kind of guess that a man is good looking. One actor kind of looked like Tom Cruise. Women say Tom Cruise is good-looking, so I guessed this man was probably good looking. I can tell if a man looks odd. But I am not sure if a man is good-looking most of the time.

If no one had told me Brad Pitt was good-looking and he were not playing leading male roles, I would have had no clue. I have heard that men having a large square jaw can be an attractive trait. I find that unappealing on females.

I can tell instantly if a woman is good-looking based on my own sense for it. I just don't have that sense for men.

How common is this? Do any of you men, like me, have little to no clue about if other men are good-looking?
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newwifenewlife
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Re: Men, can you tell if other men are attractive?

Post by newwifenewlife »

I don’t know if I know or If I just have an idea of what females like...but I would say I know.
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Re: Men, can you tell if other men are attractive?

Post by CTim »

Obviously, we'll never know exactly what is going on in the female mind, but I think I have a pretty good idea of what women find attractive in physical traits. Maybe I'm more of a people watcher than average, but facial features and body type, shape, and size are pretty obvious. That said, I think it's the non-physical traits that we have trouble figuring out. For example, Prince William just got voted the sexiest bald guy on the planet. No offense to him, but methinks the womenfolk have some other qualities in mind.
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Re: Men, can you tell if other men are attractive?

Post by Irnmyk »

I'm in the "I can't tell" category, and from time to time, I'll ask DW - "Is that guy what women consider to be really handsome?" Generally, if I have suspected that he is, she confirms it.

I have wondered (different thread, of course) if women, likewise can differentiate how women look among themselves so as to see them as we men see them.
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Re: Men, can you tell if other men are attractive?

Post by LuckyInLove »

Scientifically, men and women both find symmetrical faces the most attractive. I think women also appreciate specific features, such as ‘pretty’ eyes or a ‘winning’ smile, but those are hard to describe.

There’s such a variation in what males and females find attractive in faces and body types, that I can see where it would be hard to guess if another of your same sex is attractive. I’ve commented on women I’ve considered stunning and my DH is like, ‘she’s okay.’ Who knows?
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Re: Men, can you tell if other men are attractive?

Post by Lookin2Him »

IMO, based on the woman I married and a few that have made comments in these situations, this can fall into the category of 'what the sexes look at' when they judge attractiveness.

Of course, there are the ends of the bell curve, but my thoughts on this are taking the stereotypical middle of the gender bell curve. Because that is where I think I reside.

My DW has looked at some women and said, "Oh, she is nice looking." She is making that assessment based on the woman's facial beauty. I look at the same woman and say "nope." Because to me, the rest of the person (sorry, the body counts to me) isn't nice to look at. I know that is shallow, but I think most guys look above AND below the neck.

In regards to the OP, I'll see a nicely put together guy ( IMO ) and think, "nice looking guy." My wife will see or hear him and go "nope." She looks more at the facial features or his tone of voice or the way he carries himself.

I think this is a "gender glasses" issue for the most part.
MrMarried
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Re: Men, can you tell if other men are attractive?

Post by MrMarried »

LuckyInLove wrote: Sun Mar 28, 2021 9:06 am Scientifically, men and women both find symmetrical faces the most attractive. I think women also appreciate specific features, such as ‘pretty’ eyes or a ‘winning’ smile, but those are hard to describe.

There’s such a variation in what males and females find attractive in faces and body types, that I can see where it would be hard to guess if another of your same sex is attractive. I’ve commented on women I’ve considered stunning and my DH is like, ‘she’s okay.’ Who knows?
I read a bit about this and saw a documentary, too. And when they average thousands of faces in a given country to come up with an 'average' face, the averaged faces are above average looking. Averaging/blending the faces causes them to be symmetrical and also cause the features and space between features to be closer to the mean on these dimensions. An individual might have eyes that are higher than normal or a larger nose. Averaging faces does away with that. There is apparently a ratio our minds perceive as beautiful for spaces between chin and lips and that sort of thing that we do not pick up on.

But the 'averaging' of faces might bring a face up to a 7 or an 8 out of 10 for facial beauty in my opinion. Here is a link.
https://womenyoushouldknow.net/faces-av ... the-world/

I have seen the average male faces. I can't really tell if they are good-looking though. For me, these women's chins are too big to be optimally beautiful. Maybe it is my personal preference to like a more delicate look.

One documentary talked about how certain exaggerated features, some of which are seen in children, are pretty on a woman. A woman who has features that hit the optimal distance between features on the face, etc., who also has unusually large eyes and slightly larger lips might be prettier than the 'averaged' faces.

For me personally, a smaller jaw on a woman than average can make her look attractive, depending on the face. I imagine a slightly larger jaw than average on a man, a 'square jaw', would not show up on an averaged face of all the faces in a nation, but might be a more attractive quality to women, associated with masculinity.
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Re: Men, can you tell if other men are attractive?

Post by benny »

Nope, not really. Honestly I don't see why my DW sees in me. I can see guys who are more fit but that's about all. I know guys like brad pitt and Sean connery are hot but mostly because my DW tells me lol.

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Re: Men, can you tell if other men are attractive?

Post by SeekingChange »

Isn't attractiveness often relative and around individual preferences?

The people my daughters find attractive, are not attractive to me, at all. So who gets to make the call of what is truly "attractive" or not?

And who's this Brad Pitt everyone keeps mentioning, I would opt for George Clooney over him anytime. ;)
God can change what people do, behavioral patterns that have been in play for decades. He can change what we do to cope, to find comfort, to survive conflict, to count. Rahab had done a same old thing for years... and then she did something new.
MrMarried
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Re: Men, can you tell if other men are attractive?

Post by MrMarried »

SeekingChange wrote: Mon Mar 29, 2021 7:32 am Isn't attractiveness often relative and around individual preferences?

The people my daughters find attractive, are not attractive to me, at all. So who gets to make the call of what is truly "attractive" or not?

And who's this Brad Pitt everyone keeps mentioning, I would opt for George Clooney over him anytime. ;)
They are both getting to be old geezers, now.

I know these men are good-looking because women say so.

I saw an early episode of Star Trek the other day in which Ohura was singing about what a heart-breaker Spock. So I decided to look up on Google whether Leonard Nimoy was good-looking. It returned pictures of him as a young man. That was totally useless information. How was I supposed to tell by looking at those photos, I thought, if he was good-looking? I eventually found a summary of a discussion online in which some women commented on how his young photos were good-looking and other disagreed, and teh author of the page said he was unconventionally god-looking. That helped a bit.
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