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Failures

Other non-sexual marriage issues.
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mkzv
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Failures

Post by mkzv »

How do you deal with your own failures?
How do you deal with the failures of your spouse?
or if we can take it further failures of another person that has an effect on your life?

A bit of background of why asking this question. In general growing up in church, I think that I've been prepared and constantly taught what is the right way and that you shouldn't do some things. However, I was never prepared for what to do and how to deal with failures in life. Be it sin, or just stuff not working out in life, just failure of one kind or another.
As you answer you can focus on sin, or in terms of general failure, like never being able to finish school, never getting a good job, never being able to restore a relationship.

Do you think you've been prepared for failures in life?
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SeekingChange
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Re: Failures

Post by SeekingChange »

I have learned to look at things as, the only failure is to not learn from it. Otherwise they are lessons, not failures, but some are more expensive than others.

But, it's still easy for me to feel like a failure as a mother.
God can change what people do, behavioral patterns that have been in play for decades. He can change what we do to cope, to find comfort, to survive conflict, to count. Rahab had done a same old thing for years... and then she did something new.
Brynna
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Re: Failures

Post by Brynna »

I wish someone would get it across to me how to deal with my own failures. As a child, to fail was a mistake, and we were never perfect enough. My whole life I still feel I'm a failure in most areas...wife, mom, daughter, sister, the list goes on. And some nights it almost eats me up, the shame and the failure.

It seems easier to deal with other's failures, because we are supposed to. And I've tried to teach the children that a mistake is never a failure.
sd595
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Re: Failures

Post by sd595 »

>How do you deal with your own failures?

It is a quick reminder that to be in this human shell is to fail. There are different types of failures; there is a fail of something I wanted to see go a certain way went badly and it is on me somehow, either it was a decision I made or just something I failed at. There is failing God in the form of not being what He wishes me to be, missing the mark, sin, sometimes I feel like not having the faith to know how to proceed is a challenge for me.

What is always the answer is laying at the feet of Jesus and giving all to Him. Putting it all in His hands. It is so easy to get distracted and have one's focus go anywhere but where it should be.

>How do you deal with the failures of your spouse?

She is always way harder on herself than I wish her to be. My usual approach is to try to encourage her.
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newwifenewlife
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Re: Failures

Post by newwifenewlife »

As a perfectionist and temperament/personality, it's a lesson I'm still learning after more than half a century. I am my own worst critic, which is difficult to top in my line of work, professionally as well as my "hobby"...but some people still find a way to get to me.

Jesus is perfect, I'm not...and that makes receiving and giving grace easier when I have that in mind. And if I ever have any doubt about what the truth is and I didn't think God was clear enough, I can always ask the Holy Spirit...I mean, my wife and she'll set me straight! :lol:
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footnassman
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Re: Failures

Post by footnassman »

My own failures? Chances for me to grow and learn, so that hopefully I wont be as likely to fail again in the same circumstance, later.

Failure in my spouse? A chance for me to exercise forgiveness and grace...things that *I* have required of others (especially my spouse) far more than they have required of me.

Failure in others? A chance for me to offer reassurance and encouragement to them, as I would hope they might offer me in my time of failing them.
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