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What a great question, @Mike Smith! Besides the obvious one, the busyness of life, I'm going with brain waves, brain activity, the filled up brain with no more room, the thinking of what might have been done differently, what might have been said differently, mulling every situation that happened during the day to think upon if there was a better way. This is my DW and she will be the first to admit this. She constantly says on our scheduled nights: "Please tell my brain to stop!" Right away I know what it means and I give space while we wait for her brain to dump and crash, LOLMike smith wrote: ↑Tue Jun 01, 2021 11:38 pm It seems to me that our love nest can be quite crowded. it can include your parents saying that is not proper etc.,it can be your church - pastor saying sex is for pro creation, Satan saying think of how it would be with..... etc. It can even be the business of life. So I ask, who is in your love nest?
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The biggest lie I hear is "you're not enough", not sure where it took root, but the origin of it has to be from the father of lies.
The other is just the busyness of my own mind, life doesn't have to be that busy for it to happen.
So, in that category, I have to put the kids. We are empty nesters now, but we weren't always, and I can well remember that the demands of raising them interfered greatly with our sex life, and having what we have now to compare to, the knowledge that we didn't have all that (time and freedom) during that stage of our life. We often discuss how what we do now wouldn't have been possible during those years with the kids in the house, and wonder if, had we gotten to the point that we are now back then would we have been highly frustrated because of the limitations that having the kids around placed on our MB.
Also, I'd have to add to the "life" category; illness - many MB's are affected by the physical (or mental) condition of one or both of the couple.
And, then, not an illness per se, but a normal part of life, there are those pesky hormones. They peak and wane over the years and the cycle thereof has a direct impact on what goes on in the MB IMO.
Mine is occupied by an enemy called pain, 3 babies, busy schedule of meal plans, messy house, shopping for necessities, family calls, government evil, social media (FB), too cold/too hot, hungry or stomach is upset, boredom, plans for the future look bleak (fear of the future), my/her/his body looks old, smells, is sore, is not young anymore, "not feeling it" (DW is so sexy), want to get away, only then sex will be good but cannot get away, church time, missed church, friend or relative is scheduled to call any minute, she hates me, hates my failure, hates my sex drive, hates my lack (her opinion) of empathy, was abused as a child, "I hate pleasing him" (her words), I'm tired so you should be too, nudity in the bedroom is weird and nobody does it, if I'm not "feeling it" then your sex drive should slow down and stop.