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Sex lives of Bible folks

How does God fit into our sex lives?
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Duchess
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Re: Sex lives of Bible folks

Post by Duchess »

I want to come back to this one later too. I never made the connection that Sarai had probably been violated that first time she obeyed Abram and said she was his sister. (Although I once heard that wasn't technically a lie; that they were half-siblings?? I don't remember where I heard that, so I could be confused.)
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Re: Sex lives of Bible folks

Post by DoveGrey »

@peachrings So my mind is a bit blown by reading the verses about Leah's sons. Three sons, and still she felt unloved. And on the fourth, she finally realized that it was never about Jacob's love. It was about God's love. And that child, the one who allowed Leah to see the truth about God's love being the greatest of all, is the patriarch of the tribe through which God sent Jesus.
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Re: Sex lives of Bible folks

Post by Outdoorsman »

Well, Samson for starters...
A man of God who accomplished awesome feats. Life was pretty messed up because of his penchant for sex outside of marriage. God’s redemption had the final say in his life, but I still wonder what could have been if he would of lived a godlier sex life.

Lots of lessons there for us today.
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Re: Sex lives of Bible folks

Post by Duchess »

@ Brynna--Yes! Adam and Eve! I always wonder that too. Maybe they watched the animals and figured it out? Oh my! Maybe the first human sexual act was not missionary but doggie style, if they followed the animals' example! And I have always believed they did have sex in the Garden. The Bible first mentions Adam laying with his wife after the fall, but he told them to be fruitful and multiply  and to fill the earth as soon as he created them (Gen. 1:28). Imagine sex in the Garden of Eden! That spiritual oneness that comes after making love when I sometimes actually feel God's presence, eternally multiplied because he was actually, physically present! And they felt no shame!

As to Victorian times, yes people definitely had much more relaxed and open views and practices before that and it was primarily Victoria herself who brought on many of the oppressive restrictions. I don't remember if I've heard why, but it would certainly be interesting to know her thoughts--how she got so strict, how she felt about sex itself. She clearly wasn't a gatekeeper. Didn't she have nine kids or so?

I have also wondered about sex in small home situations. Clearly it happens; look at the sizes of families. And it's not just homesteaders or single room sleeping. In medieval times visitors would sleep with even older children in the same bed. (My source on this is a fiction book with an extensive list of research sources in the back, so I give it the benefit of the doubt.)

Martyrs I have not thought of, but it would certainly make sense that if a bunch of people were crowded into a jail knowing they were going to face the lions the next day, they might be tempted to have a last bit of comfort. I would think to some degree the physical hardships martyrs often endure before their deaths would play a part--dehydration would dry up sperm and vaginal lubrication and blood supply; starvation would leave victims low on energy; beatings, other injuries, and sores would make it painful.
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Re: Sex lives of Bible folks

Post by Brynna »

We had sex in our very small home situation, in the dark, and with a baby sleeping in its own bassinet, right up against my side of the bed. The babies slept there until about a year old. So, we were very quiet and can do it very well in the dark. Of course we now have a big house and master bedroom, but we still are quiet!
LOL on Victoria not being a gatekeeper. She had 9 children, but maybe she only had sex to get pregnant? Wouldn't it be fun to ask her or her husband?
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Re: Sex lives of Bible folks

Post by SeekingChange »

"She clearly wasn’t a gatekeeper. Didn’t she have nine kids or so?"

This doesn't mean anything. I know someone personally who didn't have sex for their first two years, and only was open to sex when she wanted to conceive. There were 6 pregnancies for her.
God can change what people do, behavioral patterns that have been in play for decades. He can change what we do to cope, to find comfort, to survive conflict, to count. Rahab had done a same old thing for years... and then she did something new.
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Re: Sex lives of Bible folks

Post by Duchess »

You are right, SC; I made a faulty assumption. Worse, I did it out of ignorance on the subject of gatekeeping. I apologize if that was hurtful to anyone who wouldn't comment about it. (I know you are not easily upset and point out my mistake for the benefit of our shyer members. Thank you!)
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Re: Sex lives of Bible folks

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@ DoveGray--We know Rachel sat on the idols and told her father that she was on her period so he wouldn't look under her. (Could very well be why she was cursed with infertility, though I hate to think it. :( )  Yes, every case of polygamy I can think of turned out badly, and I agree that the jealousies of the women who are sharing one man are probably a big reason. Women do tend to talk about sex. And complain about their husbands. Not a good combination if all the women are talking about the same guy!

I agree: David and Bathsheeba should have their own thread; there is so much to learn there! And there is so little information about Dinah, the only daughter we know Jacob had, thought he almost certainly had others. And Sarah. Poor Sarah. Yes, she was mistaken in offering Hagar to Abraham (not trusting God's promise) but I can certainly sympathize with her wondering "why hasn't he acted yet? What if I'm supposed to do something too? What if he's waiting for me to do my part? He promised Abraham descendants, but didn't actually say they would be with me. Maybe I need to get out of the way..." Feeling so noble to have finally come to the decision to make her sacrifice for her husband's calling and purpose...yet wishing Abraham would have refused and said "If it's not with you, I don't want it."

Not just Bible history--how many powerful leaders have been influenced by a mistress with an agenda or blackmailed for their sexual indiscretions? I would guess more than we know.

And yes! I agree 100% with everything you said about Joseph! He often gets a little bit shunted aside, as if less important than Mary, but without Joseph's obedience, the whole process of Christ's advent would have been completely different! We don't know a whole lot about him, but he was a good man. I like to think he and Mary had a really enjoyable sex life as a counterpoint to all the challenges they faced for obeying God.

 
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Re: Sex lives of Bible folks

Post by Elevation »

Sister Duchess,

I enjoy how you think about subjects like these.  I honestly never thought about the sex lives of those in Biblical times.

With this in mind, I was thinking about how Jacob and Abraham may have secretly enjoyed being able to do this or how this appealed to the flesh.  I do wonder if they had any conviction about being one woman husband though.  Did the Lord make them miserable for going through with these decisions?  I also find the accounts interesting that the women made the suggestions.  Hmm.

In addition, what about the situation with Nabal and Abigail?  How could Abigail enjoy the marriage bed with someone as crude as Nabal?  Could the reward God gave her for her faithfulness be for her to be in the lineage of Christ?  Wow...what an amazing thought.
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Re: Sex lives of Bible folks

Post by Duchess »

Thanks. I always assume the women made the suggestion out of desperation to have a child, but at the same time were seeking affirmation from the husband that he wouldn't really choose another woman's child over her.

Whenever we came across one of these stories during my infertility I would always feel compelled to say to DH that maybe he should go out and find a fertile woman to have his child. I can admit now that I knew he wouldn't, but I needed to hear him reassure me that it was true.

Procreation and parenthood are two of the deepest most instinctual urges we have and they are blessed by God; not being able to participate will seriously mess with the mind. Then again, the need to be loved is right up there too, so feeling like you've lost that--especially because of inability to participate in procreation and parenthood--will likewise mess you up pretty bad!
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