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The theology of 1 Cor 7

How does God fit into our sex lives?
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sd595
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Re: The theology of 1 Cor 7

Post by sd595 »

I think SC that this is your experience and I understand/respect that.  There are still a lot of people here that make every effort to do these things and yet they are still deprived.  This is exactly why understanding 1 Cor 7 correctly is so important.  Surely doing the things you mention make it easier for couples to do what is right, but not doing them does not change 1 Cor 7.  What I really think is that approaching sex in marriage outside of what 1 Cor 7 teaches introduces a lot of things that are detrimental to marriage and work against both husband and wife.  If both understand and accept what 1 Cor 7 says, they are going to approach everything surrounding it in a much healthier way.
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SeekingChange
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Re: The theology of 1 Cor 7

Post by SeekingChange »

@sd, if one spouse isn't trying to live like a child of God, do you really think the interpretation of one passage is suddenly going to make a difference?  What makes you think one spouse will care about and obey 1 Cor 7, if they don't care about all the basic Christian teachings?
God can change what people do, behavioral patterns that have been in play for decades. He can change what we do to cope, to find comfort, to survive conflict, to count. Rahab had done a same old thing for years... and then she did something new.
sd595
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Re: The theology of 1 Cor 7

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I think that is a different issue, if someone isn't a Christian or doesn't care about their walk with God, then there are probably a lot of things they are not doing.  The ones who just say it with their lips (Isa 29;13, Matt 15:8) will always do their own will; they will not feel the weight of doing what is right before Him.   I completely agree with you about these people, they aren't likely to follow 1 Cor 7 or any of the scripture you posted above.

Understanding one passage is pivotal if that one passage speaks to the item in question specifically as 1 Cor 7 does.  Nowhere else in scripture was the time taken to literally spell this out as it does here.  It is almost as if Paul in verse 1 was like, I guess since you asked I'm going to have to detail this for you though it should be common knowledge.  Even bible translations that have been culturally influenced in recent decades are unable to soften or alter the extremely specific language used and meaning, that should say something.
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Re: The theology of 1 Cor 7

Post by Doug »

SC Just so you know, That list is great, and I am going to plagiarize it.
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Re: The theology of 1 Cor 7

Post by Doug »

sd595,

I don't want to speak for SC, but I think the point she was trying to make, is that no scripture is to be taken alone, without the context of other scriptures.   I think SC did an incredible job of putting that list together.

I understand what you are saying.  Those verses say very clearly that you are not to deprive your spouse.  All those scriptures that SC listed back that up. Here is the thing tho,  the scriptures SC posted also describe what a Christian behavior should look like,  if you are being deprived.  None of those scriptures are supposed to be a tool to get us what we want.  They tell us what we should be treating others.
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Re: The theology of 1 Cor 7

Post by SeekingChange »

Thank you Doug! It's nice to be understood.
God can change what people do, behavioral patterns that have been in play for decades. He can change what we do to cope, to find comfort, to survive conflict, to count. Rahab had done a same old thing for years... and then she did something new.
sd595
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Re: The theology of 1 Cor 7

Post by sd595 »

SC- I understand your points and where you are coming from, even if we disagree.

Doug, I agree completely with your first paragraph and the second up until after "Here is the thing."

The scriptures SC posted describe what Christian behavior should look like in general, but not specifically in the context of marriage.  This is so critical to understand - scripture speaks clearly and directly for how God wishes marriage to operate.  It is important, because if we try to apply generic scripture to how say you and I should relate to how a husband and wife should relate when there is specific scripture that teaches otherwise, then we are changing marriage into something different.  The fact that Eph 5:21 is completely irreconcilable to all of the scripture about headship proves this point entirely.

On to the issue of the bible only being an instruction for us, but not for us to give to others.  I don't know where this idea came from, but it certainly fails the responsibility and leadership that a husband has regarding his wife and family.  It also fails Matthew 18 on calling out sin in the church.  Additionally, 2 Tim 3:16 says all scripture is good for teaching and rebuke.  Much of the NT is rebuke and instruction.  Jesus rebukes His bride the church in Revelation.  A husband is told to wash his wife in the Word.  Again, this is one of those things where there is no specific scripture to come against what the bible specifically says to do.  It should be done in love and with patience, and I would add that not doing it is a failure of ones responsibility.
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Re: The theology of 1 Cor 7

Post by DoveGrey »

I have much to say and have deleted most of what I have written in this reply. Ultimately, however, I have only this:

The therapist on the Ted Talk video that was linked in an earlier post approached this subject with an attitude of love and understanding toward both parties. That is the reason why she is positively received, both here and in YouTube comments. She shows empathy. She shows the fruit of the Spirit. She makes me wonder if she is a Christian because she shows the love that we are supposed to show for each other.

When you are dealing with people who are hurting, it will always be better to do so with the fruit of the Spirit in mind. To a large degree, people hurt because someone at some point has not shown them those considerations. And they desperately need it if they are to be helped to a place of healing.

I can see why the differences in response are confusing to you. You are, in effect, saying the same thing. It's the approach that causes the discrepancy. It took me years and a stint of walking with the least of these to learn this. We are all doing the best we can with what we have. And people who are just trying to hang onto what they have do better with kind words. It allows them to take the risk of opening themselves up to growth. I've spoken of servant leadership before. This is part of it. And it yields better results.
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Re: The theology of 1 Cor 7

Post by SeekingChange »

With what you did say, it's very well said.
God can change what people do, behavioral patterns that have been in play for decades. He can change what we do to cope, to find comfort, to survive conflict, to count. Rahab had done a same old thing for years... and then she did something new.
sd595
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Re: The theology of 1 Cor 7

Post by sd595 »

If I had to bet, I'd bet she is a Christian.  A lot of things she says directly and between the lines push towards that.

I don't think she was empathetic - she basically just told everyone to "just do it".  She softened that a bit with it is the loving thing to do to your spouse, and I agree with her completely.  What she suggests is basically 1 Cor 7 in a nutshell.

So why assume she has the right heart and I do not?  Even choosing a neutral topic where male and female can actually be exchanged, my intentions are still assumed to be an agenda though a wife can benefit from the sound teaching of 1 Cor 7 just as much as her husband.
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