Special Groups

We have sections you must join to use. You can see the full list here. Most you can join with a click. The medical and pastoral groups require approval.
Note, some groups were not accepting new members properly. That is fixed.

Fox hunting through the years – SoS 2:15

How does God fit into our sex lives?
Forum rules
Post in this section can be seen by guests and search engines.
Post Reply
Patient_Kind
Double
Double
Posts: 64
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2021 9:00 am

Fox hunting through the years – SoS 2:15

Post by Patient_Kind »

As you and your DS have journeyed together within the MB, what have been some of those pesky little foxes that have “spoiled the vineyards” in bloom in your MB? 


What little foxes seem to return time and time again that have proven to be more difficult to overcome or endure? 

Patient_Kind
Double
Double
Posts: 64
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2021 9:00 am

Re: Fox hunting through the years – SoS 2:15

Post by Patient_Kind »

Disclaimer: I hold the view that Song of Solomon is wisdom poetry that provides a beautifully unique view into the MB. It’s ok if we differ on this view. For the sake of conversation, try to entertain the view. Either way, what a glorious book!
Slipthegrasp
King bed
King bed
Posts: 526
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2021 9:00 am

Re: Fox hunting through the years – SoS 2:15

Post by Slipthegrasp »

You do mean DW or DH, right?  Wow, my list is endless and hers of me twice as long, and those against us could be so daunting.  But I would say that a pesky fox that truly spoiled our vines was my lack of forgiveness.  Learning to forgive was a groundbreaking experience in our vineyard.
Tim
King bed
King bed
Posts: 259
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2021 9:00 am

Re: Fox hunting through the years – SoS 2:15

Post by Tim »

Unrealistic expectations and/or comparisons to others!

As a HD, touch/sex love language man, I think about sex often. I feel loved, fulfilled, and turned on by my wife showing interest, enthusiasm, and great pleasure in the marriage bed. However, a LD, responsive only, very conservative woman is generally not going to be a sex queen.

Even now with greater understanding of the dynamics at play I still sometimes feel discouraged that our sex life is not ever going to be what I'd like it to be.
User avatar
Duchess
Under the stars
Under the stars
Posts: 2279
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2021 9:00 am

Re: Fox hunting through the years – SoS 2:15

Post by Duchess »

Fox 1:  Faulty assumption that the "right" way to have sex after foreplay is to PIV for 15-20 minutes non-stop at a rapid pace (which is what I think I would need to O from thrusting) and then climax together, and that since we can't do that we are somehow second-class sex practitioners; that our sex will only ever achieve a B grade.

Fox 2: Failure to overcome life's little (and big) interruptions and hurdles to maintain a more satisfying frequency.

Fox 3: My feelings of "less-than" because sex is so very connected to reproduction and I am infertile.
User avatar
SeekingChange
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 4909
Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2020 8:45 pm
Location: All I know is I'm not home yet

Re: Fox hunting through the years – SoS 2:15

Post by SeekingChange »

I seriously have a mental block towards poetry. Referring to things as "foxes" with no literal explanation, has been repelling me from answering, because I am not positive what you are looking for. To try.....

Hinderences for me/us from the beginning: 1) Pride, 2) Seflishness, and 3) Self-righteousness. Of more recent years, 4) Selflessness.
God can change what people do, behavioral patterns that have been in play for decades. He can change what we do to cope, to find comfort, to survive conflict, to count. Rahab had done a same old thing for years... and then she did something new.
WifeysWarrior
Single
Single
Posts: 27
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2021 9:00 am

Re: Fox hunting through the years – SoS 2:15

Post by WifeysWarrior »

The foxes have always been my DW’s level of confidence within herself. Our therapist says that this is because of the years of sexual and physical abuse as a child have kept her in a state of survival, and she is just now reaching a point where she is starting to tune into her mind, her body, her needs, and her desires. She describes it as being locked within a glass box that she can’t break no matter how hard she tries, and it hurts me to my core to watch from the outside looking in every day.

If there’s anything I wish I could give her, I wish I could make her feel confident.
User avatar
Duchess
Under the stars
Under the stars
Posts: 2279
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2021 9:00 am

Re: Fox hunting through the years – SoS 2:15

Post by Duchess »

This is purely curiosity and I understand completely if you decline to answer: Has your wife's abuser been brought to justice? Was she rescued or did she just grow out of the abuser's reach? How did she imitate "normal" well enough to meet and marry you? Are there other victims of the same abuser? Was there only one or were there multiple abusers?

Again, this is purely my curiosity because I think defiling childhood is just about one of the worst things a person can do to another little person and I'm always amazed at how the survivors go on to do anything else in life, much less thrive at what most people consider a "normal" life. I assure you I'm not trying to voyeuristically  see her pain, but to discover her strength; however if you are not comfortable sharing those answers, please refrain.
Post Reply

Return to “The Theology of Sex”